Advice forum

Can I separate from my husband but live in the same house?

Kul at 20.09.2023 13:31:56

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Hi, we have had our divorce approved and the conditional order is due in October. We have very similar incomes, we have a property each of similar values, we have similar pension values, no dependant children and even have similar cars. We are completely amicable about the whole split and have divided everything to the satisfaction of both. What is the simplest way to get a clean break at the time of applying the decree absolute?

Lee at 18.09.2023 11:19:02

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Hi, Does anyone know how long you have to apply to set aside a financial order after the final hearing? My final hearing was last Monday. I don't feel happy with the settlement although we agreed it within half an hour of arriving at court. The reason I agreed so quickly to my ex's offer was because his solicitor landed a schedule of costs on my barrister at 10pm the night before the hearing, threatening another £26k of costs against me. I felt pressured by this as I only heard about it when I walked into court that morning. I now know this should have been served at least 24 hours before the hearing in order to give me time to make submissions and consider it. The main reason I am unhappy with the settlement is that my ex refused to have his business valued and as I didn't have a solicitor I didn't know how to officially apply for that. I have emails from him where he states a potential value of the company between £200k-£400k two years ago when we separated and also states I had a 25% share in it. In his court documents he lied about how long we had been separated and claimed his business was a non-matrimonial asset when in fact for 7 years I supported him and the business while he worked evenings, weekends, school holidays and I took care of the kids and house and everyting else. This was going to form part of my evidence at the hearing but I felt so threatened by the potential costs order that I agreed too quickly. Does anyone think I have a chance of getting the order set aside if I provide all evidence to back this up? And how long do I have to do this please? Many thanks

Joanne at 01.08.2023 14:45:17

121

Our divorce states I am to pay for a % of direct transportation to and from our homes. Am I obligated pay for the full cost of if my ex drives cross country on a road trip to return our kids. Also, if he decides to purchase 1st class tickets am I required to pay the full amount?

NewCoParent at 18.07.2023 13:34:32

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Hi there. I am still married to my wife and we still share a home. We have two children and although I am not sure if this is a final decision on my wifes part, I was wondering what guidance you can offer on shared finances. My wife is the primary breadwinner earning around 50% more than I do. We still have a joint account for monthly outgoings including mortage etc and we put an equal amount in monthly. In the past year however, my wife has been on four holidays on her own whilst I struggle on my remaining salary each month to be able to do anything for myself or take my children away. Prior to our trial separation, any extra income we both made would be put into joint savings. With my wife's excess earnings each month, should I still be able to access these funds in order to be able to take my children away on a break?

Gordon at 03.07.2023 19:00:41

292

Scenario: A couple is getting a legal seperation and as part of the marriage settlement agreement, one party keeps the house and pays the other party out their equity in cash. Question: If the separation is revoked, and the marriage is maintained, what happens to the Marriage Settlement Agreement if the party that got paid out their equity in cash no longer has that cash? As if the couple reconciles and ends the separation, their assets are shared again. So, the party is half owner of the house again and the other party is basically out the equity they paid out?

Sebastian at 26.06.2023 23:54:47

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House is worth £700,000 with equity of £600,000. Further joint savings of £450000. Both always worked full time. Husband earns £45,000. Wife earns £250,000. 3 children. Custody will be 50-50. What would a fair settlement be?

Emma at 05.06.2023 7:29:11

298

Hi. I am still married to my wife and at the moment we have seperated though are still living in the home with our children. Although I would like to work through things I think my wife does not want to and intends to take things to the next step. My wife is the primary bread winner in our home (I was for a number of years before taking a career change which has meant I now freelance and earn around 30% of my previous salary). My wife is in full time employment whilst I freelance and roles I take can be sometimes a month or two apart. My major panic and concern at the moment is finances moving forward and being able to support my children whilst also working. If we were to sell our home / I was to be bought out I would be unable to afford a mortgage on my own due to my lower salary whilst my wife would be comfrotable and able to either borrow enough for a new home and / or afford the mortage on our existing home. She is also likely to inherit a significant sum of money in the near future. At the moment the only option I can see is that I would be forced to move away from my children in order to be able to afford somewhere suitable for them to live with me when I had them but this may be so far that I would only be able to have them at weekends or holidays. What financial support could I potentially receive? Thank you

Peter at 25.05.2023 16:20:03

268

Can I put my house into a trust before divorce settlement discussions start

shaun O'Connor at 22.05.2023 4:18:47

198

Hello! I have been married 2 years and separated for nearly one year now. The divorce is nearly over and was approved by the court but for the finances I want to do a consent order to have a clean break. We never had kids, properties or much shared. We don't want anything from each other, each to their own. However, he refuses to fill in any paper work because he doesn't like paper work. He agrees to not want anything, just not to fill forms or questionnaires. I tried to explain that amicable is the best and cheapest option and sent the website for him to get a consultation, which he refuses and tells me to do whatever I want. A bit tricky because we agree on the outcome, just not on the process. Any advise on how to deal with it? If I go ahead, is he "forced" to respond? I doubt. If I go to court (which I don't want considering we have nothing to divide) and he refuses to fill forms, show up, respond - what happens? What's the best route? Can amicable help with this, if he refuses to look for information and have a mediation conversation and do paperwork? Would the court force it? Thanks!

Maria Alpuim at 14.05.2023 12:45:52

237

My husband is planning to leave. What financial support can I expect to get to help me with my children and home?

Kate at 26.04.2023 22:51:02

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Hello everyone, Thank you in advance for any help you can offer me. Basically, I haven’t got divorced yet, but looking into it very soon. The problem I might have is, the family home is only in my name and my ex has forced me out of my own house due to me reporting her to Social Services, so I was advised to stay away. My question is, once I’m divorced (she is likely to NOT go for my assets because she is a Christian and doesn’t believe in taking something that doesn’t belong to her) can I move back into my house. We have 2 young children under the age of 8, so with that in mind, and a ‘Clean Break’ divorce, does she have to move on and make her own living arrangements. Bear in mind she hasn’t contributed to a single penny of the mortgage, plus with her beliefs about not claiming anything from me financially, am I in a strong position to get my house back. I wouldn’t make my 2 boys homeless if by the time the divorce was finalised, I’d let them stay until my ex has an adequate home. Also, she has an occupation order to live there until her university course is completed at the end of the year (qualified nurse) and in full time employment. This is what the judge set out in the order, so I’m assuming she wants to live there until qualified, so this might be when she wants to move out and go her own way. Thanks again in advance.

Craigy at 07.04.2023 13:29:52

709

Asking for family member who is too ill at the moment to ask herself in financial settlement home pensions assetts ect can husband who has left wife demand his pension shared  And refuse to consider offsetting as wife 65 retiring in May no savings wants to stay in house husband 53 good job wants to sell house . If offsetting on the table she could manage but otherwise would be homeless Thank you

Ks at 03.04.2023 15:12:59

381

I am making this enquiry for a friend who is not computer literate. I am happy to give is details as a stage that you can help and make all future correspondence with him. I have been separated and living apart from my wife for over 3 years. I am looking for a quick and easy divorce (if there is one) ?

Susan Pettit at 23.03.2023 10:48:49

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My ex and I agree to keep what we have (married 5.5 years and separated for 4 years) as we always kept them separate Can the judge reject clean break order we agreed in case of difference in value of assets? Can they award one of us assets to even out the difference? And how big does the difference in assets have to be for them to reject our order - 50k, 100k or more?

Soke at 21.03.2023 19:55:13

426

Hello, My ex and I have applied jointly ourselves for a divorce in January and plan on agreeing our finances. We are looking for a solicitor to draw up the Consent Order, as we have both agreed, and submit it to the Court. Do you have a fixed fee service for this please? Many thanks. Kind Regards, Jan Siddell

Jan Siddell at 20.03.2023 14:11:32

362

I have always paid the mortgage, council tax, energy bills. My wife has a good salary but has only ever paid the shopping. She left me and we are now separated, but her only contribution towards about £2000pm of these costs is £300 towards shopping (half the monthly shop). She is now renting. I begrudge paying her half of the mortgage now as we are separated. Should I expect her to pay 50/50 or should the financial arrangement be whatever it used to be? And is there any legal guidance saying so? Thanks

dizzy70 at 17.03.2023 13:29:57

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Hi My ex spouse and I would like to divorce ( we married in UK) but I currently live in the Republic of Ireland. Can I start the divorce from here (on gov.uk site) or do we have to do together. Also how much would you charge for simple divorce where I would buy ex out the property and she would pay me maintenance ( she wants a lump sum) until my state pension age (2030) Also what are the best financial payment options if we were to go with you

Margaret at 06.03.2023 15:12:57

354

I just found out that my x's live in boyfriend took my daughter took to a Father/Daughter dance. This was done on a weekend that I do not have my children without my knowledge or consent. I found out from my daughter after the fact and subsequently got upset, leaving an awkward emotional situation the two of us. For context she is 9, and had no idea that this would hurt my feelings. I have no issue with the x's boyfriend trying to do something nice with my children to create a bond, but I felt this was truly over the line. Am I being selfish? I know I was intentionally left in the dark about this, and now I am outraged with the communication with my x getting derogatory. She doesn't get it and she never will, but I am not going to sit back and not let her know that this was disrespectful. That fact that this dude gets to see my own daughter every day, and thinks he then can steal special moments like that is pretty hard for me to swallow. Any thoughts or advice would be helpful.

Robert at 28.02.2023 18:50:11

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My wife is in the process of filing for divorce from me. We have been together for 15 years and have three kids together. I have little friends outside of our core married friends and have no idea how to live life without her and without my kids. I am looking to chat or meet with someone who has been there already.

Frank at 28.02.2023 18:19:45

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My wife wants a divorce. There have been problems, fights, arguments, with both of us responsible. But, now that it's out in the open, I truly believe that we can fix it. Despite all the bad stuff, there's amazing good stuff too: amazing camaraderie, friendship, teamwork when it comes to the kids and other stuff. Maybe I'm just kidding myself.

Sad bunny at 28.02.2023 7:30:30

522

If I'm applying for a consent order, do I need to wait for applying for my final order? We've been notified by the court that we can apply for our final order? Just want to get this all sorted.

Louise F at 07.02.2023 11:17:36

661

I am currently going through divorce we are trying to settle before the court date, I had to leave the marital home due to abuse and left with minimal items, all four children are 50/50 between both houses, the house is to be split 50/50, when I left I was given £15k this was used to furnish the house and secure a rental property. My ex took out a mortgage holiday and made £3k on the family car and kept all that money I asked for only £7.5k to be taken from my share of the equity and not the full £15k is that fair and correct? I also do not pay towards the mortgage but I never did anyway I stayed home with the children when I moved out and started working that money was used to house my kids and myself.

Stacey at 03.02.2023 7:58:14

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I want to divorce my abusive husband - more so verbally but has been physical (police called) but know he will fight me all the way. He's already said he'd rather burn the house down that split with me. What can I do to try and keep this civil? He's so controlling and manipulates things to his way and then I cop the blame for everything. I have two dogs and worry about where I would end up living.

alison at 17.01.2023 14:20:58

471

I purchased a flat a couple of months before our civil partnership - I saved up for 10 years for that deposit. The mortgage has only ever been in my name and I've been the only one working full-time for the past 8 years. I want to apply for a dissolution and my ex-partner has mentioned a few times that half the property is hers which I don't feel it's fair. Would 50/50 still be the starting point under the law?

Karen at 15.01.2023 11:25:15

478

I am sad for my marriage please help me to get a divorce

Manav at 13.01.2023 19:26:18

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Hi , I have been told that even after thou wait the 29 weeks for the conditional order , it can be delayed because of court backlogs , is this true ? Realistically why are the waiting times currently please ?

Rebecca at 10.01.2023 10:08:45

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Hi, My husband and I have been separated for over 2.5 years. He has a new partner (I don't). He has a 5 year old child with this partner. I live with our 19 year old twin sons (one at university, the other not yet working or in any kind of further/higher education), in the former matrimonial home. One of our sons is suffering from anxiety and OCD which has largely been triggered by the separation. I have an underlying health condition. My husband wants us to divorce (I don't object to this) but also to sell the house. Ideally, I wouldn't want to move yet but it looks as if I'm going to have to, before too long. I saw a solicitor last summer, who advised that I would be entitled to more than a 50% share of the proceeds from the sale of the house but my husband is angling for a 50/50 split. He has recommended to me that we go through Amicable to save money but I am worried that this may not be the best idea as I think that it is a given that we will end up disagreeing about the percentages of the split of money in the end. I would really appreciate your thoughts on this. Thank you very much

Sharon at 08.01.2023 2:23:58

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I started my divorce online through the government. We've got our conditional order and now need to sort our finances. My wife and I are in complete agreement with what we want to do and who keeps what. It looks like we just need to fill out the d81 form? Do you help with this or do we need to do anything else? Thanks!

Gareth at 06.01.2023 10:41:09

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Q1: Does this mean you both have to be in a conversation while filling in the form online, or that one can fill in their parts, save it and then the other person can log in to finish it off? Q2: Is the Divorce with consent order service @ £1200 inc VAT per couple or per individual? thanks Dave

Dave at 02.01.2023 15:57:23

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Hi Can you tell me if the fixed fee of £600 also includes all court costs etc Many thanks Jill

Jill Shuttleworth at 02.01.2023 7:02:10

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My wife and I separated in early 2021. Some time later she took on a solicitor who prepared a 'Sole Divorce Application'. The application has a Case Reference Number. My wife has since stopped using that solicitor. We're currently trying to reach a financial settlement, with that process hopefully making progress. I have never had a solicitor. I never received any correspondence from the court asking me to respond to the 'application'. My question is: 'has the divorce process actually begun'? Given that a case reference number has been allocated one would assume so. But perhaps not??

Chris at 16.12.2022 15:34:20

447

Can you please explain what do you mean by "The applicant is not intending to apply to the court for financial orders. " Does it mean that the applicant is not gonna interfere with my property or assets?

Sammy at 09.12.2022 16:31:55

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We applied for our no fault divorce in May. How long does it take to get the conditional order back from court?

Ryan at 06.12.2022 10:07:32

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I want to divorce my husband after 26 years, I have 3 children who are in their teens, 21, 19 and 17. I’m disabled and when we argue he calls things, I can’t be with someone who doesn’t come near me, we are not intimate and I can be snappy at times. I just want to be on my own , I want to be independent of my own life . I don’t have much money as I claim disabled benefits.

Cimone at 29.11.2022 14:44:44

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Hello, i have started the divorce process to my husband, we have the decree nicie, we have aggreed all about the children, we still get on, we have agreed the amout i will receive from his army pension, however (army pension office) say they cant devide the army pension without a signed/stamped order from the judge, we cant get this without going to mediation, how do i go about us getting this without spending loads of money?

natasha smith at 20.11.2022 10:45:08

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Hi, I have rented my property to my brother on an Assured Shorthold Tenancy for the last 4 years. I pay for the mortgage, insurance some bills, and make rent demands like any regular landlord. He lives their with is spouse and children. Rent is charged under the terms of the AST I hold in agreement. The tenancy is in rent arrears but where he is my brother I have not taken formal action of recovery and are naturally more lenient with him as a family member, My concern is that with his spouse about to divorce him (it is still early days) that my property asset is at risk from being included in the martial pot as I have perhaps shown more charity as a Landlord than I would have compared to a non-family member, however, that is subjective, as despite being my sibling I have a signed agreement, issued tenancy paper work, issue rent statement of arrears etc. like any regular landlord. Any advice would be appreciated.

Woody at 19.09.2022 15:58:20

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Hi There, My estranged husband doesn't have a forwarding address as he is a nomad. When filing for divorce, could documents be sent to him via email using docu-sign?

Jennifer at 12.09.2022 9:11:19

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My wife of almost ten years has said she wants to divorce. She is likely to inherit a large sum from her father in the next 6-12 months and this is potentially in the region of £300-500,000. We have three small children and share a joint mortgage. We will likely sell the home and split the proceeds 50/50. However, I have a much smaller salary than my wife and will be unlikely to afford a mortgage on my own so will likely have to rent. As my wife will have a large inheritance she will be able to afford to buy a suitable home outright. Although I do not want to take any, would I be entitled to a share of her inheritance in order to ensure I am able to purchase a suitable home for me and my children?

Annoynmous at 08.08.2022 10:21:40

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My wife and I are separated and looking to go through an amicable divorce. Over recent years she has reduced her working hours although in order to agree on a suitable spousal allowance I would expect her to aim to increase her working hours a certain amount. Assuming we can agree on a target income for her how should this be recorded in the future income section of the D81. Can a target income be recorded here that she is not currently earning? If not I am unsure how information regarding earnings capacity would be recorded.

Mark at 03.08.2022 12:16:34

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I can see you don’t cover Scotland (and it’s not in your drop down list of countries to wait on…). Any suggestions for a similar service up here?

Lucy at 31.07.2022 14:28:54

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my daughter has decree nisi and wants to have decree absolute after aprox 5 years .Has she left it too late?

Lindsay at 21.07.2022 15:39:16

757

How much is a no-fault divorce? Can I do it myself?

Anna at 20.07.2022 15:18:36

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Hi, I'm going through a divorce and I started it on the government website but now my wife and I need to sort out our settlement. We've read that a consent order will do this for us and we have more or less come to an agreement on this. Is amicable able to help and are they what the government portal calls 'specialists'? What's the next steps? Thanks

Richard at 20.07.2022 14:38:59

853

How long does a no-fault divorce take in England? Any way I can speed it up?

Nigel at 15.07.2022 14:38:39

773

Hi, myself and my wife have been separated for 8 years. We have a joint mortgage, she has been living in the house since we separated with our kids, paying the mortgage and upkeep with her new partner. They have also had a child together. I am keen to get the divorce moving and to remove myself from the mortgage with my equity, ideally, I would like her and her partner to buy me out and take on the mortgage themselves, how best can I resolve this please as they have shown no intention to do this so far. thanks

Andrew at 12.07.2022 14:43:02

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My husband said we have to do a 50 / 50 split with everything we have, in theory I am ok with this but want to make sure this is correct. I wish to remain in the house but can’t afford the mortgage or to buy my husband out, and we still owe money on the mortgage. What are my options? And is it right to do the 50 split ….

Millie at 06.07.2022 19:52:02

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My ex wants to sell our family home and split the equity 50/50 to each purchase a new property. He earns roughly double my income with much larger future earning potential and I look after the children 5 nights a week. If we sold I would need to move into a much cheaper home in a less nice area where we would be able to buy a home of around the same value to the one we own now in the same area or without a sale he could rent an equivalent property in the area. I do not feel this is a fair split and he refuses to discuss pensions. I do not want to go to court but don’t feel these terms are fair to me or the children. Where do I stand legally?

Victoria at 26.06.2022 14:28:23

909

hi, im Colombian married with a British citizen, we got married in colombia in October 2013, i have got the spouse visa for 2 years in 2014 to be able to go to uk for holidays but we were living in Honkong for 5 years, where i also got dependant spouse visa, with covid situation i haven t been able to go back to hong kong and now my husband is cheating on me, so i want to get the divorce , but he doesn t want me to talk about his properties in England and i don t know if i can register my marriage in uk in order to know what legally belongs to me? i really need help as my situation is very difficult and in colombia they cant do anything about his properties and i also don't know how to get access to his properties information, can you please advice me what can i do what is the process to follow, is there anything i can do, before he takes advantage of the sitaution?

francy at 22.06.2022 23:21:49

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Hi, I've been married for 6 years. I moved to the UK to be with my husband and relocated my whole life with the intention that we would move back to America eventually. He is now ending our marriage. I am going to have to move back to America alone and once again uproot my life. I will have no secure income there, place to live, etc. Am I entitled to him paying for me to relocate?

Courtney at 13.06.2022 22:05:38

709

Two older same sex women. Had a head on collision. Wife began drinking very badly for 3 years, became abusive, threats. I left the home after she became AbusiveI. She left the next morning with the dog. Takes him when she wants. Tells me when I can have him and makes threats to keep him. She has agreed to divorce. I want to keep my stuff and don’t want her to have any access to my pension or inheritance in the future. How can this work with access of our dog to share. Becomes very agitated when i don’t do what she wants. We are only renting. She had left me to do everything in the flat. Says she can not do things yet says she she lifts her scooter in her car. I just want to clear things up and divorce ASAP. She said she will sign paperwork. How long will it take to get a divorce? Can I get to keep my dog half time?

Jennifer at 06.04.2022 22:23:47

635

Hi, I have no clue if you can help us or not. My husband left 3 years ago. Looking back now it think it was as scare tactic. We talked and agreed I would find out about what we could or couldn't do legally. Then talked some more. He was very persistent about not going down the legal road and we agreed it was silly to do a legal separation as the cost was too great and it was not necessary at that point. The relationship didn't get any better and he started being very horrible. I came to the realisation that I had actually been in a manipulative and controlled marriage for 24 years (had been with him on and off for 10 years before that). when he left our children were 28 and 21, we had bought our council house 2 years previously using my inheritance for the deposit. He had always wanted to buy a house but I had not, it felt at the time the right thing to do with my parents hard earned money. (He was not mentioned in the will and the money did not go through a joint account, straight from my Dad's estate to my account then to the solicitor for the house, I also used the inheritance to pay off our debts). I have always worked (when the children were small only part time but then he was working shifts and I was doing most of the childcare and running around etc). Therefore I feel very much that it is a 50/50 up until I put the money down for the house purchase. This purchase came with conditions. if we sold within 5 years there was money due back to the council. He went of to work in the USA late 2019 and I called a solicitor to see if they could advise me on my next steps. Unfortunately they couldn't as they had already had consultation with him. This scared me a little as he had said he wasn't going down the legal road. So I found another solicitor and started the ball rolling my end. He reacted really badly and has accused me of all sorts over the last 3 years. We have gone back and forth so many times it has got so ridiculous. I have had some bad advice from my previous solicitor who has now left the company this has not helped my case. He forced me to sell the house last year and this meant we lost out and we are still no further forward. If the house had sold this year after February 22nd we have probably in the region of £70000.00 more in the solicitor account than we currently do. He earns nearly double what I do and I believe he is living with his girlfriend. I am living in a friends spare room, I do have a boyfriend, I have no intention of living with him at all ever as it not that kind of relationship. The issue is that I don't have any money, I am in debt as I had to pay the mortgage on the house on my own, I did have lodgers that helped but the last months I did not. so I have debt to pay off from that and a massive solicitor bill (they are allowing me to pay this when the settlement is done) I don't have the money for Mediators, Miam and court fees and this is kind of where it has got to. I have email my husband this week to see if we can go back and revisit a previous offer (I ended up rejecting it due my solicitors advice, the new one has advised me differently) I am praying and hoping he will see the light and come on board with me. But I am honestly not holding out much hope. All the way through i have made offers, trying to get him on board before the house went on the market, with options of how we could help each other out to get the best outcome. There is also a few pensions involved. At the beginning I was happy for him to keep his but now I need my share or off setting. He has wrecked our children neither of them have anything to do with him, not my doing at all. He manipulated our son and then just threw him away when he was done with him. Because our Daughter wouldn't put up with his attitude and saw through him he stopped seeing her. Everyone in the family thinks it is my fault and he is the victim, it does make me want to scream from the roof tops about the abuse both mental and physical that I went through for so many years and let people know what he actually is but I don't, I just rise above it and try to support my children. I need to bring this to conclusion but feel that i have it in me and definitely do not have the money to go through the court process.

April at 06.04.2022 9:46:43

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Hi, If both parties agree on a financial settlement (regardless of split 50/50, 70/30, leave with what you brought etc) can this be granted without the costly additional mediation, legal and courts fees? Thanks

martyn at 06.04.2022 6:24:27

843

I have been married since May 2017. I am considering a divorce but it is not something that my husband is currently aware of. Prior to marrying my husband had no assets but I owned my home. He gained parental responsibility for my youngest child. He say he does not want any of my assets and will divorce and sign a clean break order - is it possible to use this service to achieve this or would it be more appropriate to set up a family trust fund now and then seek a divorce at a later date, to protect my assets.

Alison at 10.03.2022 13:15:43

644

Hello After a short marriage of 7yrs and even shorter living together of 3ys In terms of our 'unconventional' marriage, does anyone know how the UK legal system are likely to view such a short-term living arrangement ? albeit we regularly saw each other every weekend. Im concerned the courts will not be favourable to my cause of claiming pension sharing order because of the shortness of living together ? No children from this relationship I would prefer a frank overview here so I can decide what to do next. Thank you"

Garry at 08.02.2022 22:53:44

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Hi. Needing advice on property buy out options. We have been living apart for 10 months now since march 2021 and beginning plans to divorce. Current childcare arrangements working well. With Dad (2-3 nights a week). The main thing we need to agree on is the house. We both want me and the kids to stay in the family house long term, or at least have the option of kids growing up here still. But I'm unlikely to be able to afford a full buyout through remortgage any time soon and no significant savings to help out. I am currently covering all of the house mortgage and upkeep costs. We're not sure of our options here. Can amicable help with this?

Natalie at 22.01.2022 22:53:20

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Me and my husband are thinking of getting a legal separation instead of divorce at this stage Do we legally need to split our assets? Ie sell the house and business etc

Joanna at 16.01.2022 14:42:37

842

I have two children who live 50/50 between two home. Ex moved out shortly after separation and moved out of the local area. Children remained being schooled in my local area where they have family and friends. Couple of years ago family Court decided on school choice in favour of them staying in the local area. Ex wasn't happy and stopped supporting kids with their extra curricular activities. Few months ago I applied to court for a CAO due to on going issues with the kids but plan was agreed so withdrew from court. But recently that plan has now been thrown out by Ex and kids have been told they will never get to go their activities when at ex's house. Kids are very upset about this and feel let down and even saying they don't want to stay at Ex house as much. What can I do as discussing this with Ex is impossible due to controlling and coercive behaviour?

Mr T at 08.01.2022 9:30:23

603

My husband delays divorce as first he gets rid of his assets but now I am suspicious about selling for cash family house that’s his name is on it that I won’t have any financial benefit, we live here 15 years and leaved together before moving in. Can I somehow secure house for me and child going beyond home rights which I had registered and found out really not useful when he was trying to sell already house and sell was going shockingly through and only me when I contacted right people was only able to stop it.

Anna at 02.01.2022 13:22:49

574

Hello, I am 32yr old Indian, married in Jan 2021 in the UK. My partner is on Tier-2 visa and I am on dependent visa. Due to various reasons I have decided to file a divorce in 1st week of Jan 2022, exactly one year after our marriage. I have a job offer in Canada and I am asked to join in Feb 2022. As I hold Canada PR, I can work in Canada. Now my question is: Can I move out of country while the divorce process is going on in the UK court? If I move to Canada, am I expected to travel to UK during court proceedings? During the divorce process, can I still use dependent visa to travel in and out of UK, if required? What options do I have and how does it work? Any help and guidance from you will be of great help. Many thanks. Thanks, Satya

Satya at 27.12.2021 2:19:17

468

Hi I am looking for some advice or if anyone has experienced anything similar in the past. I am currently married to a Thai national/UK national, for 11 years. We got married in Thailand in 2010 and since then she has been living in the UK, and over the years she’s have become a UK citizen. We have a house in the UK, along with a business and land in Thailand along with a small daughter. With this in mind I am trying to understand what would be the best process (legally) to divided up our assets. The most simple way for me in my mind would be to keep the house in the UK, and look to sell some of the assets in Thailand for a clean break. Although my main concern at the moment is for my daughter, she was born in the UK and has so far (due to covid) never been to Thailand. With this in mind I would be looking to keep custody of her for myself in the UK and alone we are looking to keep things as civil and amicable as possible would be looking to keep in her in the UK though-out the process. I am currently working full time in the UK, whereas my wife is currently unemployed. Also given that we had assets in both the UK and Thailand, would we need to seek legal advice in both countries to ensure fair/equal distribution of asses or for example could this all be done legal in the UK Thank you

Yorkskev at 17.12.2021 8:53:48

623

My sister and I jointly own two flats which we bought with money from our mum. We rent out the flats and any money we earn has always been transferred into our joint accounts that we both have with our respective husbands. My husband says that I have destroyed the marriage because I wouldn't split from my sister financially and he is wanting to claim half of the flats as his. Can he do this?

Julia at 08.11.2021 16:47:11

1530

Hi, I have been married 32 years and my husband has always been extremely irresponsible with money. He does pay £1000 per month into a joint account but other than that pays nothing into the family pot. He has a reliable but not not well job and spends far above his income. Three times in the past we have remortgaged the home to release cash to pay his debts. I earn more than him and pay for all luxuries or extras including the family car. He has, yet again, maxed out his credit cards so is looking for me to help. I have no issue with him choosing to stay in low paid work, but I do expect him to live within his means and not to expect me to subsidise a lifestyle that he can’t afford. He has always refused to pay into a pension saying he can’t afford it, preferring to spend on bikes and other expensive hobbies. I have spent my whole life saving and planning for a good retirement which his uncontrolled spending is putting into jeopardy, however, if I divorce him, he will presumably be entitled to half my pension anyway? Is there anyway I can protect my pension that I have worked so hard for?

Gennie at 24.10.2021 7:03:32

1529

Hi. Myself and husband agreed over a conversation that we would split the value of the house 50/50 as I want to relocate (have wanted to move for years but we couldn't agree together). He is going to buy me out and is nearly at the stage where he wants to take my name off the mortgage in order to remortgage in order for me to make an offer on a property elsewhere (this is becoming increasingly difficult to secure property - but that's another problem), what I need to get right in my head is full disclosure as I have been advised quite strongly that when a child is involved then full financial disclosure is best as I may be entitled to more than a 50/50 split. Im not trying to be greedy, I'm just wanting him to co-ooerate about his finances. We have already had a disagreement as he sold his car (I never drove it), but as an asset I disagreed with this. Also, its looking likely that what we previously agreed as a 50/50 split from the house is leaving me short to buy a house AND pay for all the legal stuff that goes with a house. What is the best way to get financial advise - I have suggested to him that we should upgrade to full service to have coaching sessions for the financial bit as it is upmost important but he doesn't seem to be taking it seriously - I think because he has a hold over me whereas the finances are concerned. TIA

Zahrah at 15.10.2021 10:35:53

282

Hello, Im Nicola. I have been split from my ex for 4 years now. Last year i asked him about divorce and we both agreed on a 50/50 split with the house. Today i asked him the same question and he thinks that because he has paid the mortgage for the last 4 years that its no longer a 50/50 split on the house. Which he locked me and the kids out of and changed the locks 4 yrs ago. The house still has £46,000 to be paid and roughly 66k has been paid off already. We both split the mortgage payments while we were together for 10 yrs prior to him kicking us out. Can i just get some thoughts on this please? There is a little more to it but i'll leave it at that. Thanks

Nicola at 30.08.2021 14:19:12

2160

We have been seperated for over 3 years, I live in Germany and my husband lives in Finnland, we have agreed on the finances and both want a divorse, we were married in England, can we get a divorse in England.

Beverley at 24.08.2021 9:58:23

1354

Hi my wife has asked for a separation and wants me to move out to give her headspace, I know I have no obligation to agree but am trying to keep things as amicable as possible. If I do, how will it be viewed if we do divorce ie neglect of responsibilities, and what impact could it have on the financial settlement? Any help greatly appreciated, regards C.

Craig at 06.08.2021 15:22:59

1774

My wife and I are planning to divorce in the coming months having been married since 1995 but separated for the last 5 years (after the marriage broke down she moved 150 miles away and rented a place close to her new workplace). We have a large house (6 beds) with two grown kids still at home, but who are likely to be moving out in the next year or so. The house is fully owned by us and there is no mortgage, and in the event either of us dies, our wills state that our half transfers to the kids. Covid restrictions eventually forced my wife to return to the marital home and work remotely, but fortunately because of the property size we have successfully continued living separate lives for the last year under the same roof, and we still get on cordially with each other. But she does not want to rekindle the marriage nor to find someone else, nor prevent me from finding someone else either (I am actively looking), so it makes sense to now clear a path for a new relationship and potential remarriage on my part. Depending on how things pan out in a new relationship of mine, either a new partner could buy my wife out in due course, (she most likely wouldn’t be my wife by then but just a joint owner living in the house) or she could buy me out perhaps using equity release from next year, when she will be 55. Pension-wise we both have our own and would just propose to keep our own entitlements. Is all this a situation amicable.io could help with, does this sound like a reasonable plan, and what might the costs be?

Martin at 26.07.2021 12:57:27

1735

My son is being left in the care of my ex partners new boyfriend's parents.. I'm not happy about this as I know nothing about them. Does she need my permission?

Andi at 15.07.2021 12:10:41

2429

My husband is a 50% director of his Ltd company, with his best friend holding the other 50% He is currently taking hardly any dividends out saying that he needs to keep it in the company as that means it doesn't become part of the divorce pot due to it being a limited company Is this correct, can ge do this? It seems unfair as he will definitely expect a share of my savings and surely that's what his retained monies in the company are?!

Ruth at 25.06.2021 21:45:37

1725

My husband and I are in the initial chat stage of a potential separation. He is a 50% director of his limited company with a friend and he has been 'saving' money here by effectively reducing his dividends, arguing this is his future fund?! Is he able to do this, does anyone know? It seems unfair that he can effectively ring fence funds like this but my savings accounts will be fair game?

KAREN at 25.06.2021 16:29:34

1492

Hi, I am splitting from my wife after 6 years of marriage. We have a 16-year old stepdaughter and 2 6-year old twins. the twins will live with me going forward. We now live at separate addresses - myself in my parents' spare room with the younger 2 children, and my wife in the former marital home. I am currently still paying for the mortgage on the marital home. The younger children go to my wife most weekends, so they spend about 6 nights per month with her. My wife doesn't work. My wife has not worked during the 10-year relationship. The relationship can be summarised as: * 3 years, I supported my wife and stepdaughter financially. She didn't work. * 4 years, my wife was pregnant/ a SAHM * 2 years: younger children went to school, but my wife still didn't work. The last 6 months we have been separated and I have still been supporting my wife financially, while having the younger children living with me. Throughout the relationship I have been the sole breadwinner and financially supported both my wife and stepdaughter. I brought in assets from prior to the marriage and these were used to buy the marital home. I know that homemaking contributions are taken into account as equal to breadwinner, but on the face of a marriage of such unequal contributions, will I still have to give her 50% of assets? For example, before having children together, there were 3 years of total financial dependence on me. For me it seems grossly unfair if I have to give my wife 50% of my net worth, about half of which predates meeting her. Would a departure from 50-50 be considered under the circumstances? My wife has no qualifications and I'm quite highly qualified so can earn a fair amount more than her. Thank you!

vdfhfaadfsdf at 23.06.2021 14:24:27

1923

My husband moved in 14 years ago as the boyfriend who paid rent, we were initially renting a property, but once I got my divorce money I wanted to buy a house to provided security for my two children. He was not in a position to buy a property as he already had a mortgage with his ex wife. The agreement was he paid rent and I used a combination of his rent money, kids maintenance and my own money to pay the mortgage and bills. I paid for all home improvements, loft conversion, conservatory, new windows and door, as we moved in I put in a new kitchen, boiler and bathroom. We married in May 2015 and much to my surprise this arrangement continued, as the felt in the roof had rotted and I had to pay the full repair bill. We have just separated and he is now telling me he has a claim from when he first moved in. My initial deposit brought 45.5% of the property and I raised a mortgage for the remaining 53.5%. Over the year I have spent in the region of £57-£60,000 using family inheritance on home improvements. We spilt up at one point before marriage and he moved out for six months and returned as a rent payer. During his own divorce in 2009 he recorded himself as the tenant. I have provided him with a home that he could bring his children too when they were younger. It all seems so very unfair when he has a share in his previous material home, his parents are wealthy and have offered to buy him a property, initially a buy to let he is telling me, but he will inherit big time. He is not only taking away from me, but also my kids future inheritance. How can I stop this?

Irene Solley at 14.06.2021 12:54:05

1954

Hello. My ex-partner has stated that they will only accept my petition for divorce if they get 50% of my pension and 50% of the equity in the home once it is sold. (I have no problem with this). However, my ex wants to sell immediately to have access to the equity. I am neither in a position to remortgage, because of my credit rating, or to sell because I will struggle to rent a property suitable for when I have our children (3 children, I have them each week, every other weekend and some school holidays). I would like to offer to buy my ex out of the property over a 4 year period at a set amount per month. Do you know if there is a mechanism for doing this? And, should my ex challenge it, would the court consider my offer a suitable one? Is this what a consent order is for? Thank you in advance.

Paul at 23.05.2021 9:45:57

2212

Trying to understand how finances are split and when Looking to sell house in next 6 months, split house proceeds 50% and move into our own either owned or rented accommodation At this point we agree that pension statements will be taken and probably no change to either of us from an asset provision perspective Looking for a 2 year separation prior to applying for divorce I earn double that of my wife Will she be entitled to a proportion of my additional earnings during this 2 year period?

Dave richardson at 06.04.2021 16:59:30

2284

I have been legally separated for 2 yrs,and wish for a full divorce..what do i need to do and how much in costs would i be looking at

Beverly Lewis at 05.03.2021 19:12:10

2565

We are happy to do the divorce paperwork ourselves and we will agree how to split the finances amicably. We just want what we agree to be legalised. can this be done and how much would this cost?

Allison H at 26.02.2021 15:56:13

2491

I own a business with my wife 50 - 50 this is key as we are still working together and my wife does not want to stay in the business.

Tim McLaughlin-Green at 04.02.2021 16:28:11

2172

I am doing a consent order for divorce we have been separated 10 yrs we have two children and I took the property over when my partner left we have agreed we don’t want anything from each house ther but we still have to fill in the statement of financial information form do we have to have cetv for pension or is a pension statement enough

Emma J Wilmott at 03.12.2020 17:30:31

3974

Hello. My ex-partner has stated that they will only accept my petition for divorce if they get 50% of my pension and 50% of the equity in the home once it is sold. (I have no problem with this). However, my ex wants to sell immediately to have access to the equity. I am neither in a position to remortgage, because of my credit rating, or to sell because I will struggle to rent a property suitable for when I have our children (3 children, I have them each week, every other weekend and some school holidays). I would like to offer to buy my ex out of the property over a 4 year period at a set amount per month. Do you know if there is a mechanism for doing this? And, should my ex challenge it, would the court consider my offer a suitable one? Is this what a consent order is for? Thank you in advance.

C.Lomas at 30.11.2020 17:45:34

2991

Myself and my wife are currently going through a very amicable divorce. We split everything after separating, and have agreed we don't want to go after each other's assets, and have come to arrangement with the kids. However, we have both been asked to complete a D81 'statement of financial information' form for the courts. I am an IT contractor, and I have set up a limited company with myself as director, so I have a few questions about some of the information it asks for as it's not as straightforward as normal employee. I've no problem providing any of the information - I just want to make sure I'm providing it correctly. 1. It asks for a figure for my total capital, such as savings. I have some of my own personal savings in a personal savings account, but the bulk of my capital is in my limited company account. Should this capital figure include capital in the limited company? 2. It asks for a figure for my liabilities. In order to buy my own flat after we separated, my mum lent me some money to go towards the deposit. Can/should I list this, even though it's an 'informal' liability with a family member? 3. It asks for a figure for net monthly income. I have a couple of questions here. I pay myself a tax efficient monthly salary, and then top up with dividends. I am assuming this figure should include salary AND dividends? And also, my dividends may vary from month to month depending on my outgoings, so it's not the same figure each month. Should I put an average over the past 12 months?

Chris at 21.11.2020 10:42:42

4410

My wife wants a separation, she has the council property in her name and i am a named family member. Can she legally remove me from the house

Andy Curtis at 11.11.2020 14:20:21

2959

My partner is dishonest, has no empathy for our son and is now demanding her share from a Loveless marriage of 10 years. I bought the house 30 years ago lost my job have no income and can't pay huge legal bills. She has put a charge on the property and uses legal threats of ruining me. what can I do?

john rogers at 05.11.2020 13:37:28

2794

My mother passed away a few months ago and I am thinking about buying my brother and sister out so I can finally have a home of my own. I've been accepted for a mortgage but having read the paperwork the building society has sent me, they have put me down as single. I am currently in the process of getting divorced. I'm just waiting for the CBO to complete. I think my mortgage broker has given them the wrong information regarding my marital status. My name has been taken off the mortgage and the title deeds of the marital home. Am I still going to be eligible for a mortgage to buy my mothers house ?

Neil Dare at 27.10.2020 20:21:56

2283

My husband and I are separating and we're starting to discuss how we'll separate our finances - I've been told by a friend who's just gone through a divorce that I can go for a 70 30 split of everything in our marital pot. I've spent ten years bringing up the kids so haven't worked until recently and I've only got back a couple of days a week. The house is worth around half a million and our three kids want to stay in the house with me. I think he has a big pension, I have hardly anything in my pension. We have some savings, a couple of cars and some valuables such as art etc. I don't want to fall out with him and want to do this amicably without getting solicitors involved - just not sure where to go from here???

Alice at 23.10.2020 9:03:02

11050

not married but have a joint mortgage and separating. Is it possible as I have funds to give my partner their share pay off a lump sum of our mortgage and have the existing mortgage transferred to my name without taking out a new mortgage. My partner and I have discussed this?

marion hammond at 15.09.2020 16:24:51

2672

We are separating amicably and have both worked full-time on similar salaries throughout. I put in a considerable deposit to the house (1/3) and have since put in significantly more to improvements. If we agree to allow for this, will a judge automatically perceive this as unfair?

XX at 31.08.2020 17:49:31

3899

I have an incredibly demanding job, should I talk to HR about my situation? Th aim would be to see if there is any help they offer to their employees during difficult life changes- at the same time, I do not want to jeopardize my position and perception as a capable leader.

MM at 11.08.2020 11:32:27

3212

Morning . So my wife has filed for a divorce. We have been together 10 years married for 31/2 (gutted) how ever she was in the property before me and I have only been paying the mortgage off for 6 years . Signed a 60 40 split on the mortgage. Now she is saying I’m only entitled to 40% of the 6 years I have been paying not the hole house . I have saving asset etc is it worth me walking away she leave me alone I leave her alone and it’s job done ?

John ross at 07.08.2020 5:37:07

4448

If a person finds out that their details have been used to get married 21 years ago and they do not know any of the parties, Or their whereabouts. How do they conduct the divorce/ annulment?

Unknown at 30.07.2020 6:56:35

2566

My husband and I are getting a divorce, and are currently going through mediation. We are toying with the idea of selling the house in 2 years. In the interim, I will live there. My husband has a job in Barbados so has no need to live here. I earn £1200 a month, he earns £5000 (and gets a separate package for his cost of living and car). Our total Outgoings (mortgage and bills) is around £2000. He is agreeing to pay half towards the mortgage, car and council tax meaning he pays £700. The remaining is therefore £1400. I earn £1200 so we are in a £200 deficit. Should my husband pay that as well as extra in order for me to have money for cost of living?

Faye at 06.07.2020 8:34:19

3288

We are in the process of divorcing, the NI has been granted. When we married, 9 years ago, we agreed I would give up work, due to him working long hours and no child care available. We have 2 children plus I have 2 from a previous marriage, (1 at Uni and the others living with me). My husband earns a six figure salary and has a pension. I have seen emails from his financial advisor telling him if he wants to up his pension payments he can "hide them elsewhere in the meantime given our circumstances"... He has a solicitor, even though at the beginning we agreed not to. So the bottom line is should I get a solicitor too? I can't really afford the fees and I paid for the initial divorce papers etc

Lisa Ali at 10.06.2020 17:50:29

3270

My Husband and I have agreed how to split our assets and have drafted a consent order. The funds will not however transfer to me until our current property transfers into his name, at which point I have no legal right to reside there. I need to find somewhere else to live. The estate agents will not let me view any properties unless I am in a proceedable position. How can I prove availability of funds when the mortgage offer will be in my husbands name? Will the consent order be acceptable?

Tracey at 03.06.2020 11:17:08

3180

Do you have any idea when the new divorce law will come?

B at 26.05.2020 10:32:19

3260

I am at the stage that I would like to really separate from my husband as we are both so unhappy and stressed and I feel the kids are now suffering from the anxiety in the household. I just don't know what my financial situation would be afterwards? The facts We have been married for 15 years, during which time we have had two children- a daughter age 11, and son age 8 who has complex special needs. I gave up full time work after my daughter was born and 2 years ago I gave up paid work completely to be my son's full time carer as it was becoming increasingly difficult to commit to my job and look after my son. My elderly mother also lives with us and she too requires some help and supervision. My husband has recently qualified as a nurse and has secured employment in this field after 4 years of study which also took its toll as I took on the responsibility of childcare etc mainly on my own during this time. We have around 60k equity on our house ( but still have a mortgage of almost 140k), a few thousand in savings, almost 10k , no debts, no credit cards etc, no car ( we have a motability one) . Also, the savings we have left were from inheritance from my mum when she sold her house to come to live with us. I would dearly love to stay on in our house as it is walking distance from my son's special needs school, and has many adaptations to help look after my son such as ramps, wet room etc . Under Scot's Law would I have to pay my husband half the equity of the house if I wanted to take on the mortgage myself ( with a guarantor) as I couldn't afford to do this. Or would circumstances be taken into account such as my non financial contribution and support to the marriage and family, and my husband's future earning potential compared to mine ( my son will require lifelong care 24/7) and also the matter of my husband's pension? I suppose I'm wondering whether it's just a 50:50 split in Scotland after separation and divorce or are circumstances taken into account. Many thanks

JB at 06.05.2020 18:55:35

3162

My ex husband has messed about with regard to seeing our children for the past 2 years since I left him. I had to leave the marital home with the children as he became abusive and wouldn't leave. I rented a house but also had to pay half the mortgage on our house. I spent £4000 in total until the house was sold. I was not asked if I wanted or offered any of our house contents. He sold or kept everything. I have since had to involve the police on more than one occasion which has resulted in me having to get a non-molestation order against him. Since the court order, he has now decided to concentrate on his relationship with his girlfriend and her daughter and no longer have anything to do with his children. He has reduced his monthly payments (I have now involved the CMS). I offered a settlement late last year, after making an application to court I decided to have one more try and resolving this out of court. I had a counter offer because he has £5k of personal debts to pay off. My offer for settlement is for 50%. Though now that he is no longer having contact with the children, how likely is a judge to award him 50% or the assets. He earns quite a bit more than me, but I do have some savings (accrued post separation due to a work issue). I am concerned that if this goes to court, I could end up worse off than if I just accept his offer of (less than) 50%. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Delbel Alexis at 03.05.2020 15:14:23

2917

Hello I'm desperate for advice. In June 2018, I decided to take solicitor to help me with divorce matter. We decide  for fix price of £1500 plus tax,  for process of uncontested divorce.  In beeginging of 2015 my marriage break down, I was married actually less than year, before we got separate in begging 2015. We didnt even live togethere (I'm not british, she is), we dont have kids, flat, debts togethere or anything like this.  In June 2018 I payed to solicitor for uncontested divorce. In end of the same year (2018), I and my solicitor where aware that my wife will not sign divorce petition freely. Until today, April 2020, almost 2 years time, my solicitor manage to do service of the Divorce Petition and Acknowledgment Of Service, as the same we already used all possible option on this stage.  I need to mention that on couple of occasion there where misunderstoods between me and solicitor, and as well I have to chase her for updates as she doesn't inform me almost at all about what happening with case, even for time of month or longer (each time when I'm trying to call her or send email she tells me, I'm asking the same questions, and she will charge me extra for it).  Somewhere in middel of all of this my solicitor change as well office, about which court was not aware, and my solicitor didnt know that court didnt record this fact. I discover it by calling to court, as it was moment that I start to have doubts about my solicitor, and I wanted to check on my own what with my divorce by calling court. When I get in touch next day with my solicitor to talk about it, she was completely not aware and suprised that court is still sending everything to her old company (which I assume put my divorce matter in delay).  I think it's important as well to mention that my solicitor is forgeting about things (she actually ask me on one of face to face appointments if I been married before, she just forgot that she didnt divorce me yet) she didn't notice important email with details regarding address, day rutine, photos of my wife, necessary for Acknowlegment of Service, and she accused me that I didnt provide her this details.  Now I been informed by my solicitor that we use all possible options of uncontested divorce and therefore next step will be applying for bailiff, and the same, case is from now one contested divorce and she will be charging me on hourly rate of £250 plus tax.  Over 10 days ago I send her email with my concerns regarding time frames, quality of work done, and questions regarding break down of how she will exactly charge me. I didnt get respond until now.  I want to know if all this is normal, and if it should look like this, regarding time frames, way how she work and how she provide me her services? I would like to know if my solicitor should charge me just extra for bailiff now, and then when we will apply for decree nisi it's something for what I already pay as a uncontested divorce? I want to know if we need consent of my wife as it's already 5 years time when we are separately  and we even didnt saw each other from beegingn of 2015? I really get to point that I'm not able to handle it anymore, it's such stress, it's takeing 2 years, it's a lot of money, I cannot move forward with my life.  Apologized for my English.  I would really appreciate if somebody would be able to advice me. Many thanks.

Alimak at 10.04.2020 18:21:07

3052

I don't know where to begin. I feel like my situation is so unique, and so helpless. I am a British male in his mid 30s. I met my American wife when I lived in America. We have two kids (1 and 3 years old). We now live and work in Germany and the plan was to move to China later this year to continue work and progress our careers. The caveat is that our relationship has become completely untenable. Without boring you with the details, we argue multiple times a day over the smallest of things. Not only is it terrible for our daughters to see this, but it makes both of us utterly miserable. I do not think she is a bad person, just someone who is completely different from myself and it has become evident that our marriage is over. If we both lived in the UK, or the States, I wouldn't see this as such a big and unique issue. I would move down the road and continue to see my children as often as possible. Similarly, if we didn't have children we could both simply move on - I don't have much care for our assets and am willing to take any financial hit to get out of this misery. However, having children in such unique circumstances seems to be making this very opaque. I am distraught at the thought of my children going back to the States to continue their life whilst I remain in China or return to the UK. I would be lucky to see them more than a couple of times a year for the rest of their lives. I guess this is a much a rant as anything else, as I am fairly resigned to defeat being the father, but do I have any hope of winning custody or the children staying with me. I will have a far better income than my wife if she were to return to the States (indeed, she would barely be able to afford to keep them) and, were I to return to the UK, would be bringing the girls home to the only family they have (my sister and parents are very close to my children, whilst my wife does not speak to her family). Irrespective of the custody outcome, what are the next steps in this procedure? Any advice or suggestions - particularly from someone who may have gone through this before - are very welcome. Many thanks, H

H at 03.04.2020 19:29:23

2803

My husband and I have agreed to separate and divorce and are in full agreement over how to split our assets and childcare. I will be retaining a higher proportion of 'joint' assets because I have put in more of my own savings and parent's savings over the years. A solicitor indicated that our current plan on how to settle finances would be considered 'weak' as my husband would effectively receive much less than 50%, even though we're both agreed he'll get 50% of the house he's paid into and our jointly saved cash which we both consider fair. I am now wondering is it better to split our finances and 'separate' before filing for divorce? i.e. Remove his name from the property deeds and put into his name the amount we've agreed he's entitled to? Would this allow him to buy a house without it being seen as a second home and therefore incurr higher stamp duty? Would this mean I can avoid paying stamp duty if we remove him from the house deeds before we officially separate? Not sure what order to do things in or how to proceed! Thanks! Very confusing!

Naomi at 08.03.2020 16:29:40

3212

I have been separated since December 2007. I know where my ex was then, but I have no idea if he is still there. We split all of the house and finances etc in 2008, but I have had no contact with him since then. How do I go about serving him with papers, and do I need a consent order as the finances have been settled? He has little or no family, so I can't use them to find him. Also, I have moved since and don't want him to know my new address. Can I keep my location private?

Jo at 02.03.2020 8:23:37

2784

Can someone help me please as I am going in unrepresented now due to lawyer costs (the other party has always been unrepresented) Main issue is: We married in 1990. Divorced in 2012. No financial order was made as none of us had money between us, he has always been claiming benefits and not working. I have worked to upkeep the rent and our children who are now adults. I received a unsecured loan from family in 2015 in which I bought a property few months later whilst still divorced. I remarried same person (I know big mistake) in 2016 just under a year after loan and lived in the house for 2 years till he was removed by non-molestation and occupation order. We are now going through ancillary relief before the divorce finalises and he is wanting 50% of my property. He has not contributed to the upkeep of it whatsoever whilst we were married/living in it. I was told by different lawyers that the starting point is 50% and he may get it as he is disabled, on benefits and is old. I am unable to work now to my health and have reached retirement age. My whole case is that the loan I received to purchase the house fully was granted and purchased whilst I was divorced, the marriage was under 3 years and he did not contribute to the upkeep of house (bills all came out of my bank) question: Does anybody know under what law/article/act I can find information about divorce finances if there is a loan included? I tried to check on gov but can't find a specific act/article/law I can reference in the court hearing.. Also, under what act does it mention 50/50 split?

mim at 16.02.2020 17:56:58

2603

I married my wife in her home country of Pakistan. Does that make any difference to a divorce here? The relationship has broken down and is very complex but it involves adultery. Does adultery have to be proved as I dont think she would admit it.

Rodger at 07.02.2020 8:54:18

2979

We've just started to talk about putting the house on the market, how it will impact our boys and how we feel. This is so bloody hard and we haven't even started. I feel a lot of fear about being on my own and making the move. Just a scared

Mon at 05.02.2020 14:24:27

2961

Hello - I am, and always have been, the main provider in our family - my husband has his own business but is now struggling to support himself since we have separated and he moved out (he is currently renting as we go through mediation etc). He has not paid me any child maintenance since since we separated and indeed has never paid anything towards our 2 children's nursery/ after-school care costs etc. I think he is going to try and get me to pay him a spousal allowance AND/OR insist that he gets a higher split of equity from our family home (where I am still living)... I feel this is really unfair as I have always hated what I have done for work but have been stuck doing it as I was (and am) the main provider, whilst I supported him re-training etc etc. Furthermore, he has very wealthy parents and is set to inherit vast amounts of money in the future and I don't have this kind of support coming my way. I know you can't think about things like future inheritances but it just all adds to me feeling like the whole situation is extremely unfair. I know the law would support a spouse if they been the main care giver of the children but what happens in this instance (ie both spouses have been working but one is main provider)?

Jody at 03.02.2020 11:43:44

2645

My soon to be ex husband and i agreed a split and sent of the finacial consent order. However the judge has come back asking for a net effect schedule, i have no clue what this is and have found minimal information on the internet. I had a solicitor draw up the consent order but I am not wholly convinced they did a great job and I am reluctant to pay her any more money. How do I sort this net effect schedule?

catherine merrick at 02.02.2020 22:30:54

4629

My partner has a final salary index linked pension. We are both 55 How is something like that split?

Clare Thompson at 01.02.2020 1:24:17

2988

My wife and I are planning to divorce after 14 years together. We have three dependent children. My mother left me her house before she passed away, this was before I got married. This is not our primary home, does my wife have any claim to it?

Unknown at 28.01.2020 20:07:28

2824

We have been married for 14 years, I requested the divorce in Nov 2019 and after reading the article of "how to divorce" i realize i am emotionally more ahead than my husband. I realize I am guilty of pressuring him to start making decisions as i am becoming impatient and want us to start planning for the kids future and life ahead. But how much time do i give him? We currently still living together and started divorce mediation but we have not told our children or extended family/friends as we decided only to tell once we agreed on the living arrangement, parenting plan and divorce settlement in order to have clear direction when we break the news. We have 2 children aged 4 and 7 years. I can see it is emotionally hard for my husband and i dont know how to support him. I have suggested he see a counsellor but he chooses not to and he doesnt have any close friends or family he can talk to. So what do I do? I tried only communicating via email to avoid confrontation but i dont receive any response to the emails. When i ask for a meeting to discuss matters he tells i am taking away time spent with the kids. I am at a lost and really just want to be able to have amicable relationship with him in order to co-parent but i am starting to feel it is not going to be possible as its is becoming more difficult to communicate with my husband about any topic.

Nazlie at 17.01.2020 8:15:18

3373

I am currently coming to an agreement with my ex regarding the sale of the marital home. I am agreeing to a far lower split of the equity in the house in exchange for it being sold now and my name being released from the mortgage. My question is, what stops my ex delaying the sale and dragging the process out? She requires the equity to move straight in to another house she buys and so will have a new chain and property to deal with. She could easily drag the process out meaning I have not only agreed to a lower percentage but im also lefty on the mortgage for years to come. Can a consent order have a time limit on the house sale before it is void? What would happen after that point?

TW at 07.01.2020 10:12:37

2749

I've heard that you're automatically divorced if you are apart for ten or more years, is this true?

Bernadette at 13.12.2019 12:32:41

3027

We both want to get this sorted as soon as possible, have no finances to sort and have agreed what we'll do with the children - how quickly can we get the divorce finalised?

unknown79 at 13.12.2019 12:25:30

3018

I have received a consent order but not my decree absolute. The consent order says "IT IS ORDERED (BY CONSENT) (With effect from Dcecree Absolute): The respondent shall pay..... Payments shall start on the date of this Order, and shall end on..." So my question is, when does the consent order come in to effect and have to be paid, from the Decree Absolute, or the Consent Order, or only when both are in place?

B at 04.12.2019 9:27:25

3010

i have filed divorce against emotional and verbal abuse allegations. my husband got my petition and filed cross petition against me based on his own false allegations. I respond on his cross petition that i am not agree with his allegations but i want the divorce to happen quickly. so i allow his petition to stand but Its been 3 months after that he is not responding. what should i do? he has changed his solicitor as well. and his solicitor is not responding as well.

N.b at 03.12.2019 17:34:15

2970

I'm currently going through a divorce and we have had an initial mediation session. One of the challenges we have is that I currently provide for my wife 100% (she doesn't work). We have around £240K equity in the house and 2 children, aged 5 and 8. There is around £170K left to pay on the mortgage. My wife had a low paid job when she worked before and she readily admits that there is no way she could take on the current mortgage. I earn £75K a year. We're aiming for a 50/50 custody split so we need to support 2 houses. After the initial mediation session, my mediator asked me to contact a mortgage broker to determine if it's feasible to take on 2 mortgages. I've contacted a mortgage broker but it simply isn't financially feasible to take on 2 mortgages. I'm happy to help my wife with living costs (within reason) but I think the mortgage should be in her own name. As I understand from solicitors and mediators, there would be an expectation that if she stays in the house, the mortgage is her own name even if she receives support from me with the mortgage payments. It doesn't seem feasible to pay the mortgage for a property I don't live in for the next 13 years. I really want the children to stay in their current home but it just doesn't seem financially feasible. The only way this could be done is for me to support 2 homes but that's a massive commitment on my part. Given the disparity of incomes, I think a split of more than 50/50 in my wife's favour would be more appropriate. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Alex Routledge at 28.11.2019 22:00:24

3282

My wife has said that she is going to get a divorce but can I fight against it

Jason Rouse at 28.11.2019 19:55:45

2898

What are my rights on forcing someone to split and sell the house? Main issue was lack of intimacy and affection over a period of years. And when I arranged a weekend away to chat abiut these issues he discloses he has had an std since we met and never told me.. my suspicions are that this was from a time 2 years in to the relationship when I suspected him cheating but he says not.. I really cant just cant get over this and counselling has just not worked.. Husband refuses to leave the house, complication is we have had a joint business for over 10 years with lots of loans in both are names that went into business ( not doing great btw) but is based at home. We have 2 kids who he adores and is a good dad.. Our money issues forced me to start my own business 18 months ago which is doing okay as well as my full time job meaning he does most of the school run etc.l and I am working myself into the ground most of the time. Should I leave and take kids? Rent somewhere and then leave? Ps; I'm not leaving them... Really feel trapped and how the arguments are spilling over into the kids space and I just cant do this to them. Any advice welcome x

Jo at 01.11.2019 20:05:29

3131

I've a limited company which I'm joint director with my wife ...we are divorcing. She doesn't commit much time to the business, meaning that I've had to work very long hours just in order to raise enough income to stay in our (expensive) London rental. We can't work together (we just don't get along...her work ethic suck, always arguing)...but now that we're divorcing she wants to remain in London with our kids...our kids aren't doing well at school & my estranged wife had wanted to move them prior to the divorce (meaningshe wasn't worried about their upheaval), so with that in mind I think it's better we just relocate out of London where we can find 2 places much cheaper (town to be chosen by both of us - 2 separate properties)...she won't & is digging her heels in to stay in London (ludocrously expensive)....and is pretty much just expecting me to finance that. So as it stands, I've already been working too hard to keep a roof above our heads...but now we're divorcing...well, my mind boggles at how high our overheads are going to be...two properties rented...1 being in London....I just don't think I'd be able to cope with the work & stress. Nope, I can't work that hard anymore - it's crazy - So to my question...we can either try to sell the business (tough, becuase the business really is me...probably wouldn't raise much anyway), or we can wind down the business...but what I worry about is that if I do either of those two things, then our income dries up ....& I would worry that any judge would consider this reckless & therefore just give my ex-wife most/all of our (considerable) cash assets to weather her income-less storm with the kids (most of our cash assets pre-dated me meeting her - I'd worked hard for 22yrs & had properties...sold about 6 months prior to meeting her...so had a lot of cash assets) Are my worries justified? Surely a Judge can't expect me to work my fingers to the bone on my jack jones to finance her London lifestyle? (this is what has caused the marriage to fail in the first place!), but now I'd have to work even harder. I'd rather sell up & stack shelves...a nice simple, stress free job

Drew Peacock at 01.11.2019 15:24:22

3122

Hi all, My name is Kath and I NEED a divorce but I don't think I can afford it by the usual channels. He holds access to our finances, stupid I know! I have some cash out aside, not a huge amount though. I came across this site revivaldivorce.com and it looks like it could be what I need. They offer a range of different packages. I've done some research on the attorney who runs it and he seems legit and reputable. Does anyone else have experience using this system?

Kath83 at 25.10.2019 14:32:02

2894

I have servedmy wife with a divorce petition on a five year separaration, seeking a financial consent order. She has received the papers and left and answerphone message to state she has received then. She is saying she will not sign if I am to going to take the house. She lives with y two children 20 and 23 all in full time work. If she doesn’t respond can I proceed anyway to the court to grant the divorce and would an answerphone message from my wife and messages from my daughter be enough proof to take to court to proceed without consent.

Gareth Mitchell at 25.10.2019 14:12:29

2811

To complete an application for a consent order, do you still need to fill in the complete financial disclosure form? Or is there a way just to keep it simple and get something legally binding where both parties just agree to keep what is/was theirs?

Emily Wiser at 23.10.2019 13:48:12

3074

Hi I'm start my divorce one a gov Web site So far I done everthing online and my question is Are now ill be doing everything on line like a apply for decree nisi and after absolutely And are my wife can send a response online too

Voytec at 09.10.2019 14:55:14

2948

The decree absolute paperwork was posted before the 6 weeks and 1 day were up, does this matter?

n/a at 07.10.2019 13:09:30

2999

Hi guys I'm just in the process of getting my divorce underway buy filling out the application on the gov.uk website, but am very confused. As my soon-to-be ex-wife are amicable, I'm going to apply for a consent order to say that i keep what's mine, and she keeps what's hers. On numerous sources, this is referred to as a "Financial Order". On the Gov.UK website, under the section "Dividing your money and property", I have to choose whether I'd like to apply for a financial order. However, the way it's described, it sounds like this is only to be applied for if we DON'T agree on sharing assets... "If you disagree with your wife about how your property, money, pensions and other assets will be split, then you can ask the court to decide for you. This includes maintenance payments. These decisions are called 'financial orders'. You can apply for orders for yourself, and/or, if appropriate, for your children. If you both agree on how to split your money and property and want to make it legally binding, you can apply for a 'consent order'." Could someone please help with this, and advise on if i should be selecting this option? Many thanks in advance!

Paul at 06.10.2019 15:51:37

3025

Hello all. I’m seeing a solicitor next week, but I’m impatient and I’m hoping someone may have been in a similar situation to mine – my husband left 2.5 years ago and since then has not contributed to the house (just paid his basic child support). I have paid about £30k of mortgage payments in that time and of course all the other bills etc. He wants me to sell the house now, I don’t want to but I’m willing to be fair to release his equity. However I think the £30k I’ve paid should come off his equity. He doesn’t agree. Anyone else been in this situation? Any advice appreciated.

Upside at 05.10.2019 9:44:27

2952

We seperated 2 years ago and sold the house. The ex wife has the 2 children so we split the proceeds 60/40 in her favour. She kept everything in the house and the car. I was the higher earner hence she should have got more than me and so she did. We are both happy with this, we agreed everything on seperation and we are both happy. Do I need to put the house profit split in the clean break order or as the money has all long gone on us both setting up new homes do we leave it off? The decree absolute is coming up in a few weeks

Bob at 04.10.2019 19:17:55

3178

We have started our divorce and are sorting out our finances but it's taking longer than we thought to agree on what we want to do. What's the cons of getting the consent order sorted after the decree absolute?

Maurice at 23.09.2019 11:28:53

4589

I'm finalising the financial agreement with my wife which is (pensions aside) now agreed and subject to an open letter between solicitors. It's going to take a couple of months to firm up pension split and get a consent order. The marital home is transferring to my wife. I am in the process of buying a new house. My solicitor tells me that I will be liable for the higher rate of stamp duty (due to owning 2 houses) unless the marital home formally transfers to my wife before completion. 2 questions: - Is there any way around this? - What does 'formally transfers' actually entail, is this just having the consent order agreed or does something else need to happen? I know that you can reclaim the higher rate if the house transfers after the completion but I would prefer to avoid it if possible. Thanks.

Paul Smith at 09.09.2019 11:26:50

2937

Hi I have separated from my husband and we both agree to divorce but I want to divorce as soon as possible. How quick can I get a divorce and can I complete from another country

Amanda beaumont at 08.09.2019 18:20:28

2957

If I've been in a relationship that's abusive can I get a devorce straight away

Emma Harrhy at 29.08.2019 16:12:50

2829

Reading previous questions, realise that our mortgage was partly paid with some money that my husband's parents gave us. Can my husband refuse to give me half of the house value because of this?

Babs at 17.08.2019 10:52:56

3022

TLDR: If prenup explicity excludes the assets before marriage from being in marital property, and such assets include illiquid shares in startup that might go up 10x in price over next 10 years, does the appreciation/gain in value of these shares at time of divorce excluded from marital property as well? Longer version: I would move in with my partner, who I have been dating for around 1 year. Our aim is to live together and get married over the course of next 2-3 years We are both happy to sign a co-habitation agreement and later a pre-nuptial agreement if/when we get married, that sets out the assets we have before we start cohabiting/got married and keeps them out of the divorce settlement if it might happen My assets are some cash, one house, and 90% shares of my startup which I believe will do well Roughly speaking Cash = £50k Property = £100k in equity (£500k in value and £400k in mortgage) Shares in Startup = Startup is currently valued very less, maybe £300k in value, but can grow 10x over next 3-4 years to reach say £10mn in valuation If cohabitation/prenup specifically says that assets acquired before marriage/cohabitation are excluded from communual assets that should be divided in case of a breakup, do the startup shares (and their appreciation is my main point here) excluded fully? Or the value of the shares at time of marriage is benchmarked and any appreciation over this price is included as marital property Thanks

Dean Jones at 14.08.2019 18:30:48

2750

Wife cheated on me for the last 4 month’s, she has admitted to everything as she was caught in the act so to speak. Married for 30 years , quite well off. I want to divorce but I don’t know where to start

TM at 03.08.2019 2:18:25

3219

Hi. We were married for two years when my wife left me to start a new relationship with someone else. We have only been separated for two months but we are both eager to move forward. Is it too soon to be able to apply for a divorce? Thanks.

Darren at 02.08.2019 13:26:47

2812

I recently inherited a sum of money, 30k of which was used to pay off our mortgage. Would this be reclaimable when my wife and I separate and sell the house?

NIGEL JAMES at 30.07.2019 12:57:29

2863

Can my ex solicitor represent her if my new partners (who is seeking divorce from her husband), is the same solicitor??

Paul Sellars at 20.07.2019 21:23:46

2814

What should I include as my income when applying for a discount on the government court fee to divorce?

anon3 at 17.07.2019 10:30:29

2882

We'd like an amicable separation and divorce after 21 years of marriage. Children are 19 and 17yrs. We've discussed dividing all assets fairly with me getting just a little more as I'll probably have kids more and need a bit more space. We have both had inheritances that we put into the property, with me putting in more and he's kept a larger sum back in savings. I earn considerably less than my husband, by about 10 times and so things will be very tough. We're happy to sell now to start our new lives and do things legally later on. He's happy to pay some maintenance for few years until I'm more sorted. We're ok to do this by ourselves, but have been advised this is not wise - why is that?

Mrs Deb Holtchester at 16.07.2019 6:37:54

2951

My alcoholic wife and I separated in February. I am our 3 daughters' primary caregiver, as she only sees the girls 1 day a week. It is now July and she has a new partner she has moved in with after knowing him just 4 weeks. Her family are demanding that I leave the girls in her care as this new partner is 'suitable to supervise'. I have refused as I don't know this man, have offered 5 suitable supervisor alternatives (there was a social services supervision order, since removed but I am still responsible for their safety). My question is, is it my responsibility to 'get to know' this man, as her family say it is as I don't know him or trust him to supervise

Dominic at 02.07.2019 18:44:48

2858

I'm separating from my wife and want to know long we need to be separated for before we can legally separate / divorce. We stopped living together four months ago.

anon444 at 01.07.2019 14:01:10

3100

my pension fund have given me a cetv figure of £160000 for 33 years and a £53000 for the period of my second marriage 13 years. there is a house with £60000 equity in it .as my pension was subject to off setting in my first divorce , will the court deport form a 50/50 starting point and ring fence the 20 year period i paid in the pension before i married my second wife and just use the £53000 in the division ,if not what percentage on the £160000 cetv will be used .thanks steve 53000 ctev for the

steve at 21.06.2019 23:45:52

3388

In Filling in the Form A Notice of intention to proceed with a financial application. The section called Nature of application is a little confusing, I want to clean break order by consent.. We have both agreed that as there are no assets to dispute, we have both moved on with our lives and have no need to seek maintenance from each other or divide pensions, but obviously want a clean break to prevent any future claims, what box would you tick as the type of order to apply for.

Mike wagstaffe at 17.06.2019 15:36:45

3186

Hi. My wife and I are hopefully almost divorced. We're awaiting a decision from the court on the financial order. I have been living with my parents for 3 years (with kids visiting twice a week). Can't afford to move out while I'm paying half the mortgage on fmh. My question is. If I move out now, into rented accommodation and assisted by my parents (till the fmh is sold and I can pay my rent) will that have any negative impact on the case? My wife has always insisted that my parents will 'look after me' financially. So after the financial order is granted is it binding or can she change her mind?

Steve at 03.06.2019 5:18:09

3088

HI IVE BEEN SEPARATED FOR 9 YRS AND HAVE A NEW PARTENER AND NEED TO MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE BUT NOT SURE WHAT I SHOULD DO TO GO ABOUT GETTING A DIVORCE I AM 62YRS OLD AND NEED TO GET THIS SORTED.

STUART DUHEAUME at 29.05.2019 8:03:34

2975

I am living and working in England from 12/12/12 and I am from Spain, How can I divorce my wife taking in consideration last time we were together was 2009/2010 in Iraq and I don't know her address in Iraq?

Jose Luis Gutierrez at 19.05.2019 18:48:22

2763

Hi would like to know if the Decree Absolute will be made and finalized by the courts before they the judge decides on the Financials if we have opted for the Courts to Decide on Financials? And if I am in the country and cannot attend for when the financial hearing is, will I be excused or would I need a be represented by a solicitor?

Violet Cocking at 17.05.2019 6:51:04

3367

Separated from wife 2014, she remained in house. In 2016 we agreed split of house sale (she bought with new partner). She received £75000 I got 29000. However now going through divorce and on consent order she is showing as only having 37500. She says her solicitor has said it is correct as she now owns house with new partner so her original amount is now halved. On paper it looks like she only received 37500 when infant she got 75000. Can this be correct.

Paul Jones at 17.05.2019 4:02:27

3550

Hi it’s on behalf of my fiancé. He is married and going through divorce process with his ex wife. They were married for just under 3 years and have a 2 year old son. The divorce proceedings started February 2018 with the ex wife as petitioner. Decree nisi was granted 30th November but now his ex has put a stay in the absolute until finances are sorted. There are no assests or marital property to split just child maintenance which m fiance has always paid. We have booked our wedding for April 2020 and I'm very worried this won't be sorted before then. My fiance has asked to do a consent order to put down child maintenance and she is stalling evetythibg. We have a 4 month old son together. Is there a way he can speed this process up. Regards Kelly

Kelly at 13.05.2019 17:49:50

3449

I have received my decree absolute and have been now registered as divorced in Uk. The ex wife wants to sort out finances and has bought up a property that i owned back in 2015. Me and the ex split 2015 feb and i sold this property in july 2015. I payed the mortgage as i was the sole eaner in the family. I worked and paid mortgage. the ex wife did not work. we have 4 children who are with the ex. I would like to know i sold the property and repaying off the remainder of the mortgage i had gained about 32,000 pounds. Some was given back to family relatives who helped me put a deposit down for the property and most was used on gambling as at the time i was gambling in stress. I would like to know what rights does my ex wife have on this property even though its sold and money has been wasted. will the court make me earn the share of 32,000 and pay her half of the amount. how will it work. please advise

Zee at 11.05.2019 2:20:57

3588

My story. My and Husband and I have been together for 6 and a half years. We have never had many problems in our relationship. Last year on July 7th 2018 we got married. Life’s tough we have a lot of debt for the wedding so we don’t have a lot of money but we survive. I think my husband started to feel a bit down, no money, same routine I have a busy job so I was constantly working/stressed. Two weeks ago I noticed he was off I spoke to him and he told me he doesn’t know if he can do “this” or us anymore. Over the next week I was heartbroken and it was torture we can good/great moments and awful moments. There another girl involved an ex. He met up with her and in doing so felt so guilty that all this has to come up. He feels he can’t give her up and this is a big issue in his mind. A couple days ago he decided to go stay at his mums house for space. It was hard I took some pain relief tablets (to many) to try and cope. On Monday I invited him round for game of thrones and we sat and talked and acted normal. The next day I asked him around again this when I got angry I started asking him questions again. He just kept saying that he didn’t have any answers. And was getting frustrated that I was asking them. In the end I said I’m his wife there shouldn’t be another option I should be the only option. I told him that it feels like he forcing me in to a decision because he’s to scared to make one. He left. The next morning I had a rough night I needed to go to a&e. I rang him to take me. He come but we didn’t go he bought me back to the house we talked. I asked him he knew anything just say it. He said he loved her more. Ok that’s it we split I text my close family and friends. One of my friends took me to a&e all fine. Was out of the house most of the day feeling strong. I got inside the house and broken down uncontrollable sobbing in the end I just sat in the shower and let the water hit me. I got better and had good night. I took my dogs out. On the dog walk one of the pups picked up a chicken bone I had to get jt our of his mouth which left me with a bad cut. I’m not good with this stuff I almost called him. I didn’t I wrapped it up and managed to get home. It was a bad cut I should probably gone to a&e but couldn’t face it. I ended up calling him as I gave him the medicine box to take ways so No tablets in house had all plasters. He come straight over and sorted it out. Whilst hear he grabbed some clothes. I was feeling very um ‘horny’ so I told him what I wanted to do it. It was a quick and he said this is a bad idea and not going to help. He got up I asked if he meant what he said yesteday about loving her more he said no and left. Yesteday. Woke up with a wierd feeling did I do something wrong I don’t know. I message him in the hope he would come he refused saying he is with his mum. I blocked him on eveything. I went out with friends but I could cope eveything was exploding in my head. I spoke to his mum who had to spoke to him and she said that he still has no answer and he needs space and that I need to give him that space as it hasn’t gone well so far. I spoke to his best friend and he’s telling me to move on. I speak to a random person and they say give him the space he needs. I don’t know how to process any of this, I don’t know how to function I don’t even know what I want anymore.

Rebecca at 03.05.2019 7:29:33

3528

Hi, My and my husband of 17 years separated a year ago. We have one child who is doing her masters, living at uni. Our marriage broke down 2 years ago after he lost his jo. He lied about being fired for months and was failing to pay mortgage. I moved out to a seperate flat and he moved in with his mother whilst we rented the house out. We had family friends who we had in to pay the mortgage privately. They fell behind a lot of rent payments so I evicted them, and made the decision to move back in solely rather than paying two seperate lots of bills. (For flat & house) they still owe me over £1000 in bills and I have been completely blocked out. Due to mortgage being in arrears our mortgage lenders would not let us rent the house out. So this isn’t an option for me, which may be for the best due to previous experience. Ex husband has not paid a single penny towards the mortgage, joint account loans, credit card, anything since separating nearly two years ago. He enjoys burying his head in the sand and always has. His way of thinking is that he paid mortgage/bills for years so he is entitled to the same (which I know is true - not an issue) My mother has helped us a lot with mortgage arrears, debts & bills. She paid the arrears of mortgage off. Even paying £10,000 of ex husband credit cards when we lost job. He still owes her all this. Mortgage is £800per month which I am paying as much as I can off but struggling to make full payments by myself. I am holding onto my home with dear life and I just want something of mine for my daughters inheritance. I have offered to pay him out. Even offering to sign the house over to my daughter if anything happens to me. But I don’t think he wants me living in the house we both built for years and would rather see it repossessed. The house is up for sale and has been for two years. I would also struggle to get another mortgage if this one sells as my credit rating has taken a hit from the last two years as a consequence of me paying EVERYTHING myself. He does not respond to any of my text messages or calls. I have had numerous debt collectors at my door. After months of ignorance I hunted him down at his gf property. We spoke CIVILY and He agreed to think about outcome but has never got back to me (GR!!!!) I’ve spoken to mortgage lenders and they won’t let me reduce my mortgage due to continuous arrears. I have now been served court order for repossession (great) What can I do to save my home when the other owner is not co-operating? Should I give up? I don’t know who to contact or what to do. I’ve been to solicitor and filed for divorce months ago. I’m STILL waiting for him to provide information about his pension for assets evaluation? I feel physically sick every day, doctors are telling me i'm stressed and offering anti-depressant which I cannot risk taking with my job. Long shot but if anyone is in the same situation please shed some light as I'm desperate for help.

Roobee1967 at 10.04.2019 16:34:28

3192

were can i get such a form as my husband of 10 years has committed adultery and i want a divorce, but as he is not down on the mortgage. he has said he would leave with nothing, so i want him to sign some thing to that respect. even though he has already left and moved in a place with her.

sue smith at 28.03.2019 19:43:33

2827

Hi, My X and I have amicably agreed between us the details of the financial settlement . Briefly it reflects the cohabitation agreement which was signed before we got married and an agreement that he can return to the property to use all the outdoor buildings (he does carpentry in his spare time) and that I will add a codicil to my will leaving him 10% of the value of my estate. However my solicitor does not want to include these details when sending in all the financial documents to the court. I can’t understand the reason to exclude anything . My ex and I are both concerned that the judge may look at the details of financial agreement and think on the face of it that it is very unfair ( I get to keep all the house and ex has no claim on it – I am paralysed and the house was bought out of my compensation settlement &adapted to suit my needs ).

Becky at 23.03.2019 19:17:18

3217

Me and my wife have been married for almost 6 years but we separated last year in June due to constant arguments and basically fallen out of love with each other. We're both now seeing other people and I believe it's now the right time to file for a diverse. Firstly where/how do I start this process? And do I need to pay out £550 to the government? Are there cheaper ways to do this especially since we both want this and have no ties (Kids, mortgage)

Nick Styants at 18.03.2019 16:11:02

3292

Hi I was married for two years and then we separated and this has been the case for over a year and a half we have a 20 month old baby together who I pay child maintnece for. Today I received a notification from the court with the lump sum order box ticked which my wife has applied for what does this mean? What can she claim? I own my own house and have done for the past 12 years will she have claim to this? Thanks in advance

Sunny at 16.03.2019 15:30:33

3085

My ex and myself have been married since 2013. He is an alcoholic and is currently on probation for drink driving. He has to remain in our property for the year duration of his probation - according to the court. I don't want to live like this. I pay for everything in the property as he doesn't work. Why should he be allowed to live there for free?

Anna-Marie at 16.03.2019 11:59:14

2953

does the consent order cover pension transfers ?

Jo at 07.03.2019 17:34:17

3093

My ex and I were together for 6 years and have two children. We got married in 2015 and soon after I found out he'd stolen money from my bank account over a period of 4 months totalling £1000. Due to planning our wedding, I lost track of my personal finances and didn't find out til after the wedding. I was understandably cross! His mum advised him to pay all his wage in to my account so I could manage his money. The house was mine before we got together. The car was in my name and I paid for it. The bills etc were all in my name. The credit card, loan and overdraft used to pay for the wedding was in my name. He paid £250 a month to me initially when he moved in. I paid for all of the household bills. After he got promoted, he then paid £800 a month to me. During this time I had taken a pay cut so I could raise our daughters in a part time job. After I had found out about the stolen money, it was paid back. We both agreed to make it work but he refused to go to marriage counselling with me. Due to previous issues in our relationship., I had no trust in him, and I would be very argumentative with him (through frustration). I'm paying for divorce as he's refusing to. He says he's struggling financially. He's wanting money off of me, as he believes he has rights. He says if I could agree to give him money, he won't petition the divorce stating I've been adulterous (as I had begun a new relatioship soon after the separation). I am still paying off the wedding and still have another year to go. I explained that I just want a divorce. I don't want anything from him with regards to money, except child maintenance (which he pays already), even though I am still paying off the wedding and he was the one who walked out. Does he have any rights? Should I give him money? My dad has advised I get him done for fraus, for stealing. Obviously I don't want that though. What are your thoughts, please?

Christine at 05.03.2019 18:29:14

2950

My partner and I have agreed to divorce after a marriage of just over 4 years. We have reached an amicable agreement on division of assets that we both are happy with. My partner has a business that he is unwilling to disclose details of, but is happy for 100% proceeds of the sale of our house to go to me. We have separate bank accounts and any assets in them will stay with the account holder. Outstanding finance on my car will be my responsibility. We have no dependents and crave a straightforward and swift conclusion. We both find this agreement acceptable and wish to formalise it before proceeding. What is our best course of action?

Milly at 27.02.2019 10:31:32

3567

Hi, My and my husband of 17 years separated a year ago. We have one child who has moved out with boyfriend. He lost his job before separation so has had money issues needless to say. He lied about being fired for months and was failing to pay mortgage. I moved out to a seperate flat and he moved in with his mother whilst we rented the house out. The occupants then fell behind a lot of rent payments so I evicted them, and made the decision to move back in solely rather than paying two seperate lots of bills. (For flat & house) He has not paid a single penny towards the mortgage, joint account loans, anything since separating nearly two years ago. My mother has helped me a lot with mortgage arrears, bills, tv license etc but I can’t seem to keep up with it any longer & I feel as though I am carrying the world on my shoulders while he’s enjoying his life with his new girlfriend. He does not respond to any of my text messages or calls. I have had numerous debt collectors at my door. He agreed to mediation over text, a couple of weeks ago but since has not replied to my messages since. Due to money stress I am holding onto my home with dear life and I just want something of mine for my daughters inheritance. I would also struggle to get another mortgage if the one sells as my credit rating has taken a cut from the last two years. What can I do? Is there any way to cut myself off from my ex husband when he is not co-operating with me?

Miss B at 25.02.2019 18:07:46

3076

Just wanted to know how to file for 2 year separation under same roof for financial reasons and two children to look after...costs and paperwork involved please?

S HILL at 16.02.2019 19:14:02

3121

I am now divorced. However currently arguing with ex over settlement. We have 5 houses (Rentals). Earn about the same (Net). Have 1 child (9) who lives with her. My pension is 175k hers is 30k. I work full time she works part time but earns similar money. Family home is rented. She wants 4 out of 5 houses. Half my pension and spousal maintenance. I offered 3 houses. Giving her £1300 a month after mortgages are paid. 65k equity and 15k cash. I get 2 houses, half pension and 75k equity. I pay £400 a month for child to her. Solicitors are involved and meditation is a none starter. What is she likely to get. And is my offer more than fair from the vast experience out there.....

Mike at 13.02.2019 0:59:22

3061

we have been separated for 4 years and have already dealt with the finances. We share custody of our son and he spends half the week with me and the other with Dad and this works well. Will the divorce be quite simple. My Ex is a very difficult man and I am worried he is going to make things difficult even though he is asking me to sort the divorce as I left him

Nicola Bennett at 22.01.2019 15:09:40

2945

I have artwork which I did prior to my marriage, should this form part of the financial disclosure as my husband is valuing it at a considerable amount which I know it isn't worth.

Eve at 21.01.2019 9:50:24

3083

My STBX is refusing to disclose the pension value. It’s a 17 year teachers pension. Current salary £30k per year. Does anyone have a rough estimation on its worth?

Marie at 17.01.2019 17:52:10

3279

My husband had an affair last year and moved out after 18 years of marriage. We have three children, all dependant. We have managed to sort out child care arrangements and he currently pays me maintenance. He also still pays his share of the mortgage. However, he is now saying his struggling to make all the monthly payments. We both want to sort out the finances amicably, however I do truly feel that it should not be a 50-50 split. I am the main carer for the children and it has been me throughout the whole marriage that has saved trying to plan for the future. He has taken all my dreams away. We both have good salaries currently. 1. What could be the solution with the house? 2. What split should I go for? Really appreciate your help.

Lyndsay at 16.01.2019 21:55:36

3371

My wife and I are separating. All amicable at the moment. We own our house outright. Have agreed 50/50 split all assets. I have been the main earner for 40 years. My wife only working a few years. Children been gone 8 years. I intend to continue to support her, but what percentage. She is capable of working. Do I adjust payments because im working and she could, but isnt ? She will be able to buy a home outright for about 500k. Do I have to support above ensuring she has basic living support. Thanks

Patrick at 14.01.2019 1:04:33

3489

My husband was successful in having a restraining order taken out against me following a serious argument. I cannot contact him about anything directly or indirectly with the exception of arranging child contact and progressing the divorce through solicitors. I can't afford to challenge the decision in the magistrate's court at the moment. The impact of the order is really disproportionate and making the divorce costs really expensive for me. I am no risk to my husband. I was made temporarily homeless by the court decision as I am not allowed within 100 metres of the property. The children have stayed with him which was always his intention. Any thoughts on how I can help my husband see that it would be in both our interests for him to apply to the court to amend or cancel the order?

Lydia at 20.12.2018 16:42:51

2905

We are already separated and have split the house and agreed personal terms with a solicitors letter agreement that both parties were happy with. I paid my wife exactly what she wanted and she signed the house over to me and removed her name off everything. We agreed that she would divorce me once this was all done,although I don't agree with what she had put in the divorce papers I did see a ticked box to apply for a financial order and I don't understand what this means ?. I don't want to sign the papers without understand this first if I means she can try to claim more money or other things after we had already agreed on the split of the house and other assets. Could you please explain what this means. Many thanks

Adrian cutler at 16.12.2018 22:31:55

3492

My wife has decided to call time on our marriage. She's studying at the moment so can't afford to move out. Long term, she says she's happy for me to keep the house and have the kids most of the time. She says she will forego her share of the equity in the house in exchange for me letting her live rent free for a year until she gets herself sorted. Whilst I want the separation sorted faster, I agreed this in order to keep the kids in the family home to minimise the disruption for them. The thing is, she's refusing to confirm the agreement in writing and I suspect that after living off me for a year, she'll just go after half the house in any event. So I'm wondering if I can either just move out or kick her out. If I go, is there anything I can do to remove liability to pay the mortgage? Or can I get an order to get her out? Surely there is some way to live separately without waiting for a divorce?

Kris at 13.12.2018 21:04:00

3550

After petitioner filing the petition for divorce for unreasonable behaviour, In the acknowledgement of service form how many options defendant get. Do they have an option of not consenting but not defending?

B Siddiqui at 13.12.2018 16:29:42

3240

My husband and I are currently going through a divorce where I am representing myself. Our absolute could have been applied for from the 22nd November but he has not done this yet. We were married for 4 years with two biological children (one severly disabled) and three children from a previous relationship of mine. We bought a home in 2015 in his sole name. We are now negotiating a consent order. He remortgaged the home before we divorced and sat on the money. He now wants me to agree to 58% house. Obviously the equity is very small after only purchasing 3 years ago and him remortgaging. He has a hefty pension, wage and a fair amount of savings. I agreed to 58% of the home but would also like 50% of what he recieved when he remortgaged it. Am i being unreasonable?

Sheni at 10.12.2018 12:56:09

3348

I’m 8 months into a divorce turned nasty, and my wife has stolen my laptop. She lives in my £2mil house while I stay with my supportive sister just 3 miles away. Divorce was initiated by her because she started a phone affair with a man in a different country and has treated me like dirt since - says she wants 80% and me 20% of finances worth around 2.5, which won’t happen of course but just as a bit of background. I left my laptop accidentally one evening after spending time there with the kids, and went back the following day but the laptop was gone. This was 3 weeks ago now. I’ve asked repeatedly if she knows where it is, but the answer is always no. I know she has taken it and in exasperation last Friday I used a Bluetooth scanner which showed it clearly being in the boot of her car, I checked again next day again and still in her car I confronted her with this information, and she went mad. She told me I’d stolen all manner of things from her, including random jewellery, private mail, and even all the way too one of her slippers! None of that is true and it seems she is trying to fabricate evidence against me I guess for her financial case in court. She’s started now making other accusations like I’ve been hitting our children, feeding them poorly and buying them sub standard clothing, and the list goes on. She once called the police late at night and said I was hiding in the shed and was going to break in to attack her and children. I only know this because she told the children before calling 999. She’s a bully and a pathological liar. So. How can I get my laptop back from her? My solicitor basically said she won’t ever, and I’ve practically begged the ex and told her how I just need some documents from the disk and she can have it, I don’t care. I’m a writer and illustrator and there’s 5 weeks of hard work on the laptop that is irreplaceable. She’s impossible to communicate with, and well knows the anguish it’s caused me. I just do not know anymore how to get at least my work back.

Bryan at 10.12.2018 5:22:51

3174

I left my ex back in April and I am now with someone else. He was adamant that he was going to file for the divorce otherwise he was going to protest it if I did. Finally in October he filed for the divorce after I paid for half back in July and I received the petition at the end of November and signed and posted it the same day. My ex found out that I am now with someone else and has started texting me saying he’s not going to let us win and I shouldn’t think this over yet. At this point he can’t stop the divorce proceedings right? What happens now that I’ve signed the petition? Does he need to be the one to apply for the decree Nisi and what if he doesn’t? I deliberately moved far away from him and now I feel like he’s still here controlling my life

Goldielocks at 05.12.2018 21:33:02

3106

Could anybody possibly explain this in very clear and simple English? Can anybody please explain the following in simple language? Pursuant to ....Notes....all matters in sub-paragraphs 2 and 3 being satisfied Application granted for Decree Absolute out of time.

Natalie at 04.12.2018 0:48:54

3064

I recently recieved a divorce petition from my ex partner, Since we have split she has now gone ahead with a sex change to become a he, As i did not consent to marrying a man nor was i given the choice to voice my concerns, is there anyway to avoid the divorce and procedd with a annullment instead as she/he is trying to get me to pay for the divorce when they were the one to end the relationship and procedd with the current course of events.

Marcus at 03.12.2018 13:56:00

3186

Good afternoon, If a decision has been made to separate for a period of time rather than divorce is there a form that requires completion to acknowledge the start date of the separation in order for the marriage to be dissolved if the separation runs to the legally required timeline? Is this 2 years? Thank you, kind regards , Sandra timeline i.e. is this 2 years.

Sandra at 28.11.2018 15:46:36

3211

Married 13 years, together 18 years. Have been advised by a solicitor 70:30 split of assets could be seen as fair due as I have been a stay at home mum since kids born (12 years). We have a savings pot which was allocated to pay children’s ongoing education. I would like that to go into educational trust so it continues to be used for the purpose intended. With that plus my families money we could complete the kids education to gcse. Husband wants to split it as he says he needs £ for house. He would have £149k to my £340k based on house sale. Additionally lives in West Country where housing far less expensive than where I am. Please advise. He earns £120k. I have always been stay at home mum but due to return to work full time in January on £40k

AJ at 23.11.2018 5:41:12

3270

Hi all Wondered if any of you could give me some advice with the hope someone out there has been in my shoes... Long story short...purchased my house in Nov 2013 had a large deposit due to sale of previous property. Met my ex husband Dec 2013. I moved into my new home in Feb 2014 he stayed back and forth between my house and his mums (where he was living when I met him) moved in gradually by around Dec 2014. Married Aug 2015..marriage lasted ten months, he left my home in June 2016. He paid nothing during the first year. Second year he’d give me between £50-£80 per week if I was lucky. He started threatening me for money when he left using all kinds of ways to blackmail me. I went through all my bank statements for the two years I was with him, breaking down the bills, living costs, mortgage etc and outlined, that actually he owes me £17k in expenses wedding costs, and lastly, three months before he left I loaned him £8k to pay off his huge debts (interestingly which he accumulated trying to sue another company for money, but failed). After writing this email from him, he went quiet apart from a few threats and blackmail attempts. It’s now been two and a half years and out of nowhere, he’s hired a solicitor who wants three years of my bank statements, my business accounts and three valuations on my house!! I paid for everything in my house. Every mortgage payment paid by me. Every tradesman, pot of paint, furniture etc paid by me. I can prove everything I’m saying in the way of bank statements etc. So my question is, is he entitled to anything of mine given the length of the marriage? Oh by the way this guy is a qualified engineer and is very capable of earning his own money.

Jessica at 18.11.2018 16:46:39

3419

We are separating and have a joint mortgage which has paid down 250k equity. I earned a little more so made 65% of cointributions vs. 35% of spouses contributions (via our joint account), and purchased majority of possessions. I am keen to agree a fair settlement and would appreciate some guidance

Chris at 12.11.2018 12:00:38

3206

I am going through a complicated divorce, well.. quite amicable as husband don't want trouble but under the category of "unreasonable behaviour". A Lawyer I met recently told me: do not mention children or money on a divorce if you don't what to get in trouble. She explained to me regarding the kids, but it wasn't clear why I should not mention anything regarding money. In my case, husband has been having an affair while transferring almost half of his salary to a woman abroad for a year. This made the family budget very tight, and I was blamed for spending too much on food, and made to cut down on family projects and trips to the detriment of the family’s quality of life. When letters from the bank were received warning about unexpected big bank transfers, my husband was led to believe they were sent it in error. The lawyer suggest me not to mention all the money he sent. I want to know why! is he going to get in trouble? I am still a full time mum at home as we have very small children. Many thanks.

Alice at 05.11.2018 23:40:06

3547

Hi I’m due to marry someone who owes the equity (in divorce agreement) to his ex. My question is has anyone been through this before as this has been dragging on for five years now with no effort from his ex to save any deposit to buy the house off him (which was just in his name) also each month she (who has since remarried) is gaining equity in that property as its on a repayment mortgage. I’m having a real issue in communicating my concerns to him as he has kids (and more complications) wrapped up in this but I’m seriously concerned for my future especially as I own my own property. As far as I’m aware they had a clean break divorce but it still doesn’t seem fair that their divorce was based on an agreed sum at the time which is now 5 years out of date and still where she’s gaining equity in a property. Thanks in advance for your comments

Gina at 29.10.2018 23:29:45

3253

My husband and I have agreed to divorce and will be aiming to sell he family house, which will be split 50/50. We both work fulltime and earn similar salaries. In the short term I could afford to rent a small house in order to make things easier than having to live together while we sort out the divorce and selling the main house. Is there a risk that if we ended up in a dispute (which we are trying to avoid), it would be deemed that I can afford to rent a separate house so he should stay in the main house with the children? Or can we put an agreement in place that I will do this for a limited time but that it shouldn't affect our long-term financial resolution? Thanks.

Anon at 29.10.2018 14:58:11

3427

How long does it take to get divorced? I was told we could get it done in 12 weeks – is that true?

Anna at 05.10.2017 8:03:39

3137

How much do the court fees cost to get divorced?

Kerry H at 05.10.2017 8:03:36

3505

How do I get divorced? I’ve been separated from my partner for six years and our children are all grown up. How do I get legally divorced?

unknown at 05.10.2017 8:03:32

3031

I want to divorce my wife for adultery but was told that isn’t possible if I found out more than six months ago – is this true?

Craig at 05.10.2017 8:03:29

3927

Please can you help? I have been trying to move forward with my divorce for over a year now, my husband refuses to engage in the conversation regarding a financial settlement and we have already spent a lot of money on lawyers. I really don’t want to end up in court but it feels like that is the only option. Do i have any other things i can try

Florence at 05.10.2017 8:03:27

3391

We’ve lost our marriage certificate and need a new one asap, how can I get a new one quickly?

David K at 05.10.2017 8:03:24

3615

Where do I need to change it so it’s all done? I know the bank etc but need a full list of where I need to change it.

Sasha at 05.10.2017 8:03:21

3160

What are ‘grounds for divorce’? A friend told me I need to have this before I get started on the paperwork – we’ve not been living together for a few years now so what should I be saying?

Helena at 05.10.2017 8:03:19

3466

I need help writing examples of my ex’s unreasonable behaviour for my divorce petition. Does anyone know what examples are accepted by the courts?

bristol44 at 05.10.2017 8:03:13

6420

I’ve paid my £550 court fees already but have read that you need to pay more when you’re doing a consent order – is that right?

bristol44 at 05.10.2017 8:03:10

4270

How do I convince my ex that we need to get a divorce? It’s definitely over between us – how do I convince him?

Rachel M at 05.10.2017 8:03:07

3374

Not sure if you help couples like us… we aren’t agreeing on everything at the moment and want some help. Do you work with couples who don’t agree on absolutely everything? We’ve been trying to work out what’s fair for both of us in relation to how we split our property etc but we keep disagreeing.

chloec at 05.11.2017 8:03:06

3665

I’m worried about telling my children that we’re getting divorced, they are so little. I don’t know how to explain it to them?

unknown at 05.10.2017 8:03:04

3826

We’ve decided to get a divorce but none of the reasons for divorce on the form are relevant to us. We got married a year and a half ago but have been a couple for five years in total. No ones cheated, or left each other, we haven’t been apart for two years or five years and neither of us have done anything horrible to each other so I don’t think we can use the behaviour one? We’ve just fallen out of love and drifted apart so I don’t really know what to do…? Please help

chloec at 05.11.2017 8:03:01

3544

How do I work out how much child maintenance I should be getting from my ex?

DWG at 05.01.2018 8:02:58

3835

I’ve received my decree nisi certificate – how long will it take for my decree absolute to come through?

DWG at 05.01.2018 8:02:55

16702

Ok so my husband and I are getting divorced. I’m hoping it won’t be messy but no doubt will get that way.what is the first steps to starting the process as I have absolutely no idea. At the moment we have barely even discussed living arrangements but would like to try and continue living together for the children as we aren’t arguing we just have unreconcevievable differences. What do I do please?

jo123456 at 05.04.2018 8:02:54

3387

We are nearly half way through the divorce at decri nisi stage and have just found out that we need to do a separate form to make our financial split legal. Is this right? Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanksd

DWG at 05.05.2018 8:02:52

3859

Want to keep the cost as low as poss – what’s the best way to go about it?

Damien2018 at 05.05.2018 8:02:49

3436

How long does it take to get divorced from start to finish? We have kids and a family home but are on good terms in general so want to get it done as quickly as possible.

Damien2018 at 05.04.2018 8:02:46

3349

At what point do we need to pay the court fees?

Damien2018 at 05.04.2018 8:02:43

3554

For 25 long years my lazy lying alcoholic husband didn’t pay me any money or support me, I had to rely on my part time job and parents lending me money. I had to pay all the bills and the mortgage, support the children, I helped him in his business, I did all the housework, gardening, supported the children. He used to shout and swear at us and arrive home drunk. The house is in my name as I put the money in for our first home and due to my hard work I gradually built up a buy to let portfolio of 5 flats. I have had to sell 2 to pay bills as I now support my Mum who has dementia and my son is unemployed. We live in the family home. In 2013 my husband left me for another woman and lied to me about his affair for years. In 2014 I had a heart attack due to stess. I have truly suffered mental and physical abuse. He is renting a house with this other woman and is still carrying on his electrical business. He has paid me no maintenance for the children and we had an agreement when the children were born that he was to pay £50 a month into savings accounts for them so when they were 18 they would have some money. They are now 19 and 20 and couldn’t go to University because what money he did put in he took most of it out again. I suffered anxiety, depression throughout our marriage. He was a hands off father. His mother won the health lottery and is in her 80s. My mother is 94 with dementia and I will be left half her home. I have a huge mortgage on my home and a whopping £2,2k mortgage on it and due to Government regulations although it was a porting mortgage they are refusing to transfer the mortgage. I have had money worries all my married life. I have proof of his drinking and videos of his verbal abuse. I do not want to give him another penny, I just need to hang on to what I have without this leech getting his hands on even more. I have to pay a lot back to my Mum’s estate on the loan. I went to mediation 4xs and it was just a fiasco, no finances were even discussed, I am sure the solicitor was just making the most of the time and cost us a fortune for nothing, it was more like a counselling session. We didn’t even discuss the finances. I have a little bit coming in from 2 buy to lets but I have to sell one as they won’t extend the mortgage and there isn’t much capital in the flat. I have a bad credit rating due to credit cards I had to use to survive. I have a lodger. Do I have to give him half?

Dramlouie at 05.06.2018 8:02:40

5504

Hello Please can you let me know the cost of the court fees in the even of a Consent Order being overturned? Thanks Chris

cread at 05.06.2018 8:02:37

3653

In a divorce settlement how can a pension fund cash value be considered equivalent to other assets such as cash in the bank or the house. A pension is subject to income tax on withdrawal of up to 40% and it cannot be used at all until the age of 55. As a result the comparison to assets that can be spent today and have no tax attached is incorrect. Ie as an example I would rather be given 400,000 cash today than 500,000 in a pension fund I can’t access for 20 years and I will pay tax on when I can access.

downnotout at 05.07.2018 8:02:33

4315

What is the exact amount to comprise for a legal divorce? Is it accurately 50/50 division of assets in both parties?

sadipeterson at 05.07.2018 8:02:30

3733

I want a divorce, I need the court to dispense with service in divorce. It’s a bit complex for me anyway. I was married abroad the marriage is legal due to EEA 6 month family permit. So I have to go trough Uk court for divorce. My partner had made false allegation against me the case has dropped no evidence plus she took her false allegation back in hope of coming back in my life. Due to the false allegation I want to divorce based on unacceptable behaviour. I didn’t had any communication from her for months, I had no idea where she was, she just tried contacting me via phone. As for her address it is unknow to me, the solicitor I consulted used and tracing agent but we still could not find any info at all. Obviously I had tried contacting relative of her no answer, I’m not acquainted with any address for the relatives either. Now my question is are the ground for divorce satisfactory for the court? When I communicated she made it clear that she don’t want the divorce, I think she just used me to get in UK. However I am just looking for guidelines, how to prove to court that I made all took all the necessary steps to find her, keeping in mind the history of our marriage breakdown just after 1year and 1 month of marriage and 9 months of living together.

fair at 05.07.2018 8:02:28

3431

Is it possible to get legal separation from spouse residing outside the UK. I know the country he is currently residing in but don’t have an address.

swiftpraise at 05.07.2018 8:02:25

3225

Hi I split with my husband last summer, house has been for sale for almost a year with less than 10 viewings, have changed estate agent & reduced price a couple of times but he is refusing to reduce again – stuck in this – what can i do?

sarahol at 05.07.2018 8:02:22

3643

Hi, thank you for creating the forum and advice notes. Can I ask you something, please. My wife and I have been married for 10 years but things fell apart at Xmas and they don’t look to be resolving themselves. If I remortgage to pay my debts which I have built up with her how do I stand further down the line? Say for example I have £50,000 in equity but £20,000 in debt can I remortgage before proceeding further into divorce proceedings and then I have less to split with her? Basically I don’t want to have to give her 50% of the equity and then still be left with the debt? I can’t afford to manage my debt and start renting or buying a new place. She is not on the deeds or the mortgage but we do have 2 boys and my intention is not to sell the house as I want the boys to be stable. She has only paid for the gas and electric for the last 2 years and the first 10 years of our marrige she didn’t work. Sorry it started as a simple question but clearly not as short as I expected

scottonjackd at 05.07.2018 8:02:19

3596

My wife is a foreign woman whom I have been dating with for three years before we decided to get married. We have been trying our best to produce a child after our marriage. After one year of trying, we failed. I told my wife we should have a check up to finally know if one of us is infertile. However, she seemed unfavorable with my idea. Now, she’s thinking of divorce as the only solution and I’m freaking out. She said that if one of us is really infertile, then there’s no sense of being tied up, which in fact I don’t understand. I mean, we should try to work this out, right? It’s for better or for worse. What should I do now?

dougx80 at 05.08.2018 8:02:16

3708

When my wife worked abroad, she met a man who eventually became her lover. Due to that, we broke up. She filed a divorce which will be granted soon. But that is not the problem here. It’s about her taking my son, Mike, away from me. I understand that when the parents got divorced, the kids should at least be at the mother’s jurisdiction. However, this is not how it goes here. She said they will be moving to a foreign country soon and she won’t tell me where exactly. My concern is, I have to know so that I can visit my son anytime I want. She did not seem to understand it that way. She literally wants me to cut off the tie with my son, which is not right. I would never agree to that. Can we not let our son decide whom he wants to stay with? Mike just turned 12 and old enough to decide on his own.

FatherGrant at 05.08.2018 8:02:10

3748

One afternoon, I was cooking a foreign cuisine for lunch when my wife called me from our room. I stood up and headed to her while leaving my phone at the couch. The moment I stepped inside the room, I heard her sobs and I wonder why. I stepped closer, sat beside her and wiped her tears away. I asked her why but she just shook her head. I let her cry in my shoulders until she felt relaxed. Few minutes after, she started talking. I faced her as she tried to gain composure. I asked her what happened and she said she wants a divorce. I wasn’t able to respond. My eyes went wide. I asked why. She said she doesn’t love me anymore. I told her that whatever problem we had can still be fixed and that divorce is not a solution. I told her how much I love her but she seemed deaf to my words. It seemed like her decision was final. She stood up and said, “Please make it happen.” I didn’t know what to think when she said those words. I love her but she’s not happy with me anymore. Should I let her go or maybe try to work this out? How could she end our marriage that easy?

brandon at 05.08.2018 8:02:09

4362

We have just had an acceptable offer on our home. My ex had said she would pay half towards the renovations that were required to get it sold with the amount to be paid out of the proceeds of the sale and she is now refusing to pay that amount. I currently live in the hous with our 2 grown up children. I would rather get the house sold and move on but it appears that holding the sale up may be my only bargaining chip to get her to meet her obligations. Both the children are witnesses to the originial agreement but unfortunately I didn’t get it in writing. Any advice on what my options are would be gratefully received Thanks

dode415 at 05.08.2018 8:02:09

3560

I’m currently trying to finalise my divorce and I have one final stumbling block. I live in the family home with our 2 grown up children. I’m happy to sell the house and we have recently received an acceptable offer. The only issue is that I have spent a lot of money getting the house into a fit state to sell which my soon to be ex-wife said she would pay half towards to come out of her share of the sales proceeds. Unfortunately I didn’t get anything in writing but both of our children are aware of the agreement and will say so to anyone who will listen. The total amount was £40k of which she was due to pay £20k but she has argued agianst it and I have reduced the amount to £15k to try and get over her issues. She is now saying she will not pay anything towards it. I’ve told her that if she doesn’t agree I will refuse to accept the offer on the house and she will have to take legal action against us to get us out in an effort to get her to see sense but I’m not sure what my rights are legally on this. Any help or advice would be gratefully received as she has a solicitor who I am expecting to receive threats from at any minute

dode415 at 05.08.2018 8:02:08

3651

Where does a man move to during separation and then divorce? I earn a modest salary and pay a mortgage on the family home (12 years married with 3 children). My wife is a stay at home mum. Toxic relationship, everyone anxious, adversely affecting us all including the children and their behaviour. I need to leave. But I want to make sure I know what I\’m doing before I take this step. I have the option of moving into parents house but would rather not of course. It\’s not exactly conducive to me getting on with my life and eventually forming a new, loving relationship to show as a positive example to my children. The last thing I want to do is sell the house – I believe the children should stay with their mum in the family home. And I don\’t expect a court would rule that anyway. However there\’s no way I can afford to rent a place and continue to pay the mortgage as well. So am I just stuck here in a really uncomfortable situation as I suspect thousands of others are? Any suggestions gratefully received.

Pascal at 05.08.2018 8:02:07

4538

I am a female Muslim and divorced with mutual consent when my son was 2 year old. Reason being, we never had sound relation which broke when he was not supportive and not ready to handle child responsibilities. Now he is 5 and I would like to share him the reason for divorce. I know he is very small to understand but i want to satisfy his curiosity, slowly and gradually that why his dad is not staying with him. He is in Sr. KG and many times asked to explain my family. I understand that he has to face such situations when he grows up and mingles with school mates. Therefore, I would like to ask in what way and what I should explain to my child so there is no issues related to his mental health and he remains happy. Also I would not like to say negative things about his dad. Please guide. Thanks a lot.

maazre at 05.07.2018 8:02:07

3638

New to the forum and would be grateful for some guidance. I’ll provide a little context behind my question. My ex moved out a year ago. I still live in the property, joint mortgage, with our daughter and my ex now lives between their new partner and their new residence. Since then my ex has used funds from an old joint bank account to pay her debts/bills and refuses to pay these back or even accept this was wrong to do. I’m paying the mortgage and will do so until our daughter’s 18th when I will either sell or buy my ex out. I suffered a mental breakdown and have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks since the separation. As a result, my social and work life has suffered greatly. I have asked my ex to allow me to change the locks or hand the key in as I do not have privacy and whenever I see them I relapse and have further panic attacks. My request has been rejected. My ex still has personal belongings in the house. I have recently found out my ex has taken, without approval or discussion, family photo albums and has also been through my financial affairs. My ex’s solicitor has been instructed not to correspond with me, to keep their costs down, so despite my attempts to bring this matter to a conclusion I’m being met with brick walls. My ex feels they’re entitled to come and go whenever they please, despite them knowing about my mental health issues. Legally, I know they can come to the property but I have suggested regular inspections to ensure their security isn’t at risk but this has been ignored. I’ve attempted mediation which both my ex and their solicitor ignored. It’s very difficult to put into words the stress and anxiety I’m under so the question I have is, is there anything I can do knowing they’ve removed items and been through my financial paperwork. Could I change the locks or is an occupancy order the only route. I sincerely hope I don’t have to go to court as I know my mental health, and my bank balance, will not be able to cope.

ghostdancer at 05.08.2018 8:02:06

3608

Will try and keep this short! Married Oct last year. Marriage ended after 6 weeks, he moved out straight away to his dads. He moved into his own flat (rented) approx 2 months later. I have recently discovered this was actually with another woman (who is into drugs quite a lot, speed and coke) I found out yesterday she is also pregnant. Financially…I earn approx £45k a year; he earns approx half. We were living together for 4 years, the last year of which was in a house purchased while we were together (the previous house we lived in I purchased before he moved in) Everything is and always has been in my name, the house deposit, mortgage, all bills, credit cards etc. We have no joint accounts. Money was paid to me for bills, however always in cash and not every week as agreed. Also there was a car purchased for him on my credit card (3k) which was meant to be paid for via a cheque (wedding present from his dad) that he ripped up before I had a chance to cash it. I’m now paying for his car, although it is in my name. I had suggested that I keep paying for his car, and he walks away as a financial agreement….however the woman he is now with is well known for being a medium level drug user and very interested in money. I’m now concerned that everything I’ve worked very hard for all my life is at stake. With it being such a short marriage….what would happen if he wanted the courts to decide on finances? Is he likely to be able to claim anything from me etc? Thank you in advance!

spiralisedcat at 05.08.2018 8:02:06

3638

My husband is ignoring the acknowledgment of service he was supposed to file to consent to our d ivorce. The time has now expired for him to file the acknowledgment at court. The court is currently having backlogs on opening correspondance. I have messages on my phone from my husband stating that he had received the petition. What can I do to proceed to the next stage of the process?

goddess110 at 14.09.2018 8:02:05

3742

Myself and husband split last October, he wants to wait two years and I want it sorting straight away, can I file for irreconcilable differences?

Amy123 at 05.08.2018 8:02:05

3678

Married 8 years, house deposit and all mortgage payments met solely by myself. Husband not on mortgage due to adverse credit. No children. He wants 50% plus half my pension. Doesn’t seem prepared to accept less and wants to go to court. I left him due to gambling addiction, alcohol issues and not contributed financially. What is the likely outcome?

charcole at 04.10.2018 9:02:04

4345