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It's a complicated situation. I left my wife and moved out of our family home several years ago. During that time, we went through all the emotions, but didn't divorce or really talk about it. We have 2 children, and we do well by them (i see them 8 days a month plus have them with me for 2 weekends).
Our interactions are a mix of "normal" and then difficult when I'm often told I'm not doing enough for the kids or have done something wrong. Note, I pay their mortgage and an appropriate amount of their costs. To do this, I have really downgraded my own life expenditure. They live in a large house, I in a 1-bed flat.
From my side, there is a real sense of failure, which i think is what is holding me back with the process. I think i also have guilt as i was the one who left.
Part of me feels ok with the status quo, but then I do feel that I'm not able to live a fulfilling life with the excessive costs I'm paying.
Are these feelings normal? Should I bite the bullet and start the process? I don't know why she hasn't started it either.