Advice forum

Thank you to everyone who joined Julia and me today. Sharing a home while you separate is something a lot of people are quietly getting on with, and it was good to hear how many of you are already doing it thoughtfully. There were more questions than we had time for, so here is where I'd start on the main themes. Our article on [living together whilst separated](https://amicable.space/article/living-together-whilst-separated-how-to-make-it-work) is a good companion to all of this. **If I'm the one who moves out, does it count against me?** This came up in lots of different forms. What it means for the children, what happens if one of you refuses to go, what to do if neither of you can afford it. You'll often hear "never move out", usually without anyone explaining why. Friends and forums tend to say the opposite: get them out as soon as you can. Most people end up somewhere in the middle, and there's no right answer, only what works for your situation. I can't tell you how it plays out for you, and I'd be wary of anyone who says it's simple. Where safety is a concern, it's different. Some situations do need one of you out, and quickly, and in some cases a court can order that. If that's you, please get support first, because leaving can be the most dangerous moment. Our guide on [how to leave an unsafe relationship](https://amicable.space/article/how-to-leave-an-unsafe-relationship) is a place to start. For anything else, get proper guidance before you make the move rather than trying to repair things afterwards. You can [book a 30-minute consultation](https://calendly.com/amicable/30-minute-amicable-space) to talk it through for your own circumstances. **What if there's nowhere else to go?** Hotels, alternate weekends, one of you covering mornings and bedtimes. For some people a stopgap like this works well, and for others it just adds cost and strain. What helps most is that you both know what the plan is. Moving out is rarely one moment. It's usually a process, and one of you may see it as a trial while the other sees it as final. Say out loud what this arrangement is and how long it's meant to last, and agree how and when you'll collect the rest of your things. If children are involved, [choosing living arrangements for your children](https://amicable.space/article/choosing-living-arrangements-for-your-children) has more to think about. **Isn't relying on trust risky?** It can be. Trust is a good starting point, but it's a lot to ask of it when you're both under stress. Write the boring stuff down: who does what, who pays for what, what happens if it stops working. Cooking, laundry and cleaning stop being just chores when you're not a couple any more, and it's rarely about the washing up. It's about respect. Putting it in writing isn't pessimism. It means you won't each remember a different agreement in six months' time. Our [conversation guide on the practicalities of divorce](https://amicable.space/article/how-to-talk-about-the-practicalities-of-divorce) can help you start. **Can a "no new partners in the house" rule last?** Probably not for ever, and it's kinder to know that early. The rules about other people are the ones most often left vague, and that's where things go wrong. Have the awkward conversation at the start, and agree a date to look at it again together. **Will the children try to fix things?** Quite possibly. It usually means they're paying close attention, and children often see more than we give them credit for. Being clear and calm with them, and keeping the plan consistent, will do more than putting on a show of normality. If you haven't yet told them about the separation, our [Telling the kids webinar](https://amicable.space/webinar/telling-the-kids-how-to-start-the-separation-conversation) and our article on [telling your children about your separation](https://amicable.space/article/telling-your-children-about-your-separation) are good places to start. **Everyone says I should make them leave.** When there's been an affair, other people's opinions can weigh more than the situation itself. They care about you, but they aren't the ones managing your money or your children's routines. Other people's views are one of the things that makes sharing a home harder, so it helps to decide what's right for you both and stick to it. You can simply say "this is how we're doing it for now" and leave it there. We have a guide on [handling family questions about your separation](https://amicable.space/article/how-to-handle-family-questions-about-separation) if it's useful. **We can't agree on when we separated.** That's a tricky one and it isn't something to settle in a comment. The date can matter later when finances are sorted, so it's worth getting clear on early. Our article on [your separation date and why it matters](https://amicable.space/article/your-separation-date-and-why-it-matters) is a good starting point, and a Divorce Specialist can help you think through what it might mean for you. **Your turn** I'm curious: what's one thing about sharing a home right now that you wish someone had warned you about? Or if you've found something that's made the days easier, I'd love to hear it. Your answer might be exactly what someone else reading needs. If things at home feel frightening rather than just difficult, please reach out to Refuge, Women's Aid or the Men's Advice Line. You deserve support that's built for that.

Kate from amicable at 09.10.2026 12:00:36

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It's not a small thing to give up your lunch hour to sit with something this personal, and I'm glad you did. We didn't get anywhere near all of your questions, which I'm sorry about. There were still good ones coming in when we had to stop, so I just wanted to share my view on some of the topics I noticed popping up in the Q&A: **Trial separations** A few of you asked about this. They can help. It's hard to see a relationship clearly from inside it, and a bit of distance sometimes gives you something you can't get any other way. What makes the difference, in my experience, is being clear about what it's for. A trial separation with no shape to it tends to turn into a slow drift, and six months on you're no clearer and a lot more tired. The couples who get something from it tend to agree a few things at the start: roughly how long, who's living where, how money works, what you're telling the children, how much you'll be in touch, and when you'll sit down together and talk about how it's gone. And then there's the one nobody wants to raise: what are the rules about other people? It's an uncomfortable question, so it's often the one left vague, and vague is where the damage gets done. One of you thinks it was a pause, the other thinks it was an ending, and you end up arguing about whether you were on a break. Have the awkward conversation at the start. It's kinder than the row you'll have later. One practical thing worth knowing. A trial separation doesn't change anything legally or financially. You're still married and your finances are still connected. And under the current law in England and Wales you don't need to have been apart for any set period before you can divorce, so it isn't a clock you need to start. If you want to think through what it would look like in your own situation, our Divorce Specialists have that conversation every day. **Stonewalling vs needing space ** Getting overwhelmed is real. When a conversation tips past what you can handle, your body floods and you can't think straight or respond well. Walking away at that point is often the most sensible thing you can do. The difference isn't whether you withdraw, it's whether you come back. Stonewalling is withdrawing and leaving the other person with nothing. No signal, no sense of when you'll be back, no coming back to it at all. What that does to the person on the other side is make them feel they don't matter enough to be answered. Taking a break is different. It's saying 'I can't do this right now, I need an hour', and then actually coming back in an hour. Give yourself long enough to settle properly, which is usually longer than feels necessary. If you're the one asking whether you do this, that tells me something in itself. People who shut others out to get their own way don't tend to worry about whether they're doing it. **Starting the conversation without it spiralling ** Several of you asked how to raise any of this without it becoming the end of things. This is the fear that keeps more people stuck than almost anything else. Saying it out loud feels like it makes it real, and like it can't be taken back. Conversations very rarely end relationships. It's usually the not-saying that wears them down, quietly, over years. Before you have it, be clear with yourself about what you actually want from it. 'I'm unhappy and I don't know what to do' is a completely different conversation from 'I think we should separate'. Both are fine. They just need different openings, and it isn't fair on either of you to blur them. And expect it to be more than one conversation. The first one is often clumsy and emotional and doesn't land how you hoped. That doesn't mean it's gone wrong. You're allowed to say 'I don't have a conclusion, I just need us to be honest with each other'. **Over to you ** Please treat the comments here as a space to keep talking. Ask the questions we didn't get to, or anything you thought of afterwards. Say what's helped you, or just say where you are. Hearing from someone further along the same road is often worth more than anything I can say from a slide. I'll be here in the comments over the next few days to answer what I can and join in. If you want one thing to take away, make it this: do you feel more like yourself in your relationship, or less? If today landed heavily, please don't carry it on your own. If things at home feel frightening rather than just hard, Refuge, Women's Aid and the Men's Advice Line are there for exactly that conversation.

Kate from amicable at 28.09.2026 17:35:08

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I just thought I would post here to see if anyone else has has any experience or advice with living alone for the first time after a long time living with their partner. We had no kids together and I am finding myself becoming quite isolated and struggling to motivate myself with getting out and socialising but in doing so it's making my fear of living alone and anxiety feels much worse, a vicious cycle! I know I should just pull myself together and go and do things to keep busy and not just be on my own in the house all the time but it's easier said than done right now Any tips or words of wisdom would be so welcome right now, thanks in advance.

sunset skies at 18.09.2026 14:31:01

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My husband is having an affair. He seems to have a different recollection of our marriage and putting blame on me. I’m a totally mess not eating or sleeping and we have 2 children who don’t know. I am worried about my life going forward and I just can’t stop crying

Hepshaw at 01.07.2026 21:45:00

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Me and my ex have been separated for a while now, neither of us really driving the actual divorce process... just hate the idea of all the admin. Starting to think it's time to start the process but I don't wanna rock the boat after the separation was so upsetting. Is it a good idea to just get it over with now?

Rose at 15.06.2026 15:29:18

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About 8-10 weeks into the 20 week reflection period. Have said early on that I regret the decision to apply for divorce. Have been OK with it mostly and have support from a therapist. Wife and I did counselling last year which didn't work, tried again this year with a different counsellor and that stopped after just 2 sessions. I just got to the point where I honestly didn't want to work on the relationship any more. Woken this morning with fear, the finances look devastating, dreading telling the kids, dont know what life will look like after divorce. I think without this I'd be on target to retire in about 10 years, wife has been stay at home mum for most of our marriage so my pension would be split. But also would not want to continue the relationship as it has been for the last 2 years. Any insights comments welcome.

flipflop at 31.05.2026 9:00:56

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We've applied for our divorce... now there's the waiting period. Is there something I should be doing here? Feel like I should be actioning something, but not really sure??

xoxo at 21.05.2026 14:18:56

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Hi everyone, Thanks for joining today's webinar with Kate and Allison on communication after separation. Lots of great questions came in that we didn't have time to get to live. I'll share a few of them in the comments here, along with Kate and Allison's thoughts. If you've got something to add from your own experience, please do. **Tools and resources** If you're co-parenting, you might find the [amicable co-parenting app](https://amicable.io/coparenting-app/) useful. It's a shared place for schedules, messages and parenting plans, which can make the day-to-day a lot lighter. Anything else you wanted to ask in the live session but didn't get the chance? Please share it in the comments below, and our experts will come back to you with their thoughts. If you missed the live session, the recording is waiting for you [here](https://amicable.space/webinar/your-guide-to-communication-post-separation).

Mahalia from amicable at 14.05.2026 16:36:35

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Hi all, you probably get this question asked a lot, but I'm new here and this is my first post, so here we go. I am a 44-year-old man with two kids, five years old and nine years old. My wife filed for divorce in February, and I reluctantly agreed to go along with a joint application in order to minimise any conflict. I initially secretly hopes, or wanted, to be able to reconcile or at least work towards reconciliation as we navigated the process; however, as time goes on, it's becoming increasingly clear to me that reconciliation is not an option for my wife. I'm absolutely devastated at the thought of losing everything that we've built over the last 10 years of marriage and 13 years as a couple. I’ve been in some really dark places in the recent months, especially struggling to talk about my feelings with others. But as each week goes on, my level of acceptance seems to be slowly growing, although some days it feels like two steps forward and one step backward. However, the question I want to ask, and I'm hoping for responses from both men and women who have been through similar experiences or who can relate to the info below, is around how to cope, or how you have coped, when your spouse's personality seems to change overnight? I think one of the biggest aspects of the divorce process so far that I've really struggled with is that my wife has just become completely cold, disinterested and distanced herself from me emotionally – it's almost as if our marriage of 10 years doesn't mean anything to her and that I don't matter. The reason I think like this is because she is refusing to talk to me while we're living together, even though I've consistently tried to be kind, considerate, and respectful in our communications, especially in front of the children. However, it seems the more civil I am, the more distant and combative she becomes. At times, it seems almost cruel. My wife has a recent history of depression, which is managed by medication since 2017; she also believes she has ADHD with rejection sensitivity dysphoria, albeit this is undiagnosed, but she has commented on numerous occasions that she thinks this is something she's living with. We have previously carried out attachment questionnaires during moments when we have been trying to communicate better, and she comes out as an avoidant attachment personality, whereas I come out as an anxiously attached type. I really want to be able to, as a minimum, enjoy at least some level of amicable or kind communication with my wife as we embark on the co-parenting journey that seems to be ahead; however, when she refuses to communicate with me other than by email, even while we are still living together, I'm struggling to see any hope of how we'll be able to communicate in the future. Last week, her solicitor wrote to my solicitor to outline that my wife wants to engage in mediation at the earliest opportunity with a view to agreeing on ‘interim financial and living arrangements’ while we agree on the wider financial position associated with a divorce. This email immediately triggered my anxiety because I felt that it was a threat that she now wants me to move out (ie ‘interim living arrangements’) , and will start looking for this to be agreed as part of the mediation process. If any of this resonates with any of you, or even if there are any parallels in anything you've been through, or just any advice you can give me that's relevant to the information I've described above, I would be ever so grateful for you to share your comments and thoughts with me. I really do love my wife, and until the divorce is absolutely final, then I will still carry some level of hope in my heart that she will change her position or at least want to talk to me in a simple way. I would add that in the run-up to the divorce, there were no major issues in terms of behaviors; for example, there was no adultery or abusive behavior, etc. Rather, there was a buildup of communication difficulties that led to resentment, I think, on her part over time. We always struggled to reconcile after disagreements, and due to my anxious attachment style, I think I naturally sought reassurance and validation from her over the years, and tried to mould myself around what i thought she wanted from me, which gradually became too much for her and her avoidant personality type, and eventually, she snapped and wanted out. Hence, here we are today. Thanks, all.

AnythingBut at 12.05.2026 16:38:13

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Hi everyone, I've been lurking on here for a few weeks and finally plucked up the courage to post. My husband and I have been married for 9 years and have two children together (ages 5 and 7). I found out about 4 months ago that he'd been having an affair for almost a year. It's been the most devastating thing I've ever been through. We've decided to separate, and honestly I think that's the right decision for both of us – I don't think there's a way back from this. Here's the thing though: I know, rationally, that going through this amicably is better for us both, and especially for the kids. He's actually been very open about wanting to do it that way too. He's said he doesn't want to fight over everything, he wants us to be able to co-parent well, and he's been willing to sit down and talk practically. On paper it sounds like we should be able to manage this. But I'm really struggling. Some days I can have a calm conversation with him about finances or the children's routine, and then I'll catch him on his phone and the grief and anger just hits me all over again. I feel like I'm constantly swinging between wanting to be mature and sensible about it all, and just wanting to scream. Has anyone else navigated this? How do you separate the practical process from the emotional pain when the cause of the separation is betrayal? I know amicable is the right route – it'll be better for the children, less costly, less drawn out – but I'm finding it so hard to show up to those conversations with any kind of calm when I'm still so raw inside. Would really appreciate hearing from anyone who's been through something similar. Thank you.

BluebellJo at 24.02.2026 15:09:48

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People pleasing can quietly shape how we move through separation. It might look like saying yes to arrangements that don’t feel right. Avoiding difficult conversations to keep the peace. Putting everyone else’s needs first, while ignoring your own. In divorce, these patterns can feel even stronger. But when we constantly override our own needs, resentment can build and decisions may not reflect what’s truly fair or sustainable. In this week's episode of The Divorce Podcast, we explored how people pleasing shows up during divorce, how to spot it in yourself, and what healthier boundaries can look like. You can listen here: [https://www.thedivorcepodcast.com/episode/people-pleasing-in-divorce](https://www.thedivorcepodcast.com/episode/people-pleasing-in-divorce) I’d love to open this up to the community: Have you noticed people pleasing tendencies in yourself during your separation? How did you recognise them? As always, share only what feels comfortable. This is a space for reflection and support

Jade from amicable at 13.02.2026 16:30:23

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We separated over the summer and have been slowly working through the practical stuff since then. On the surface everything looks calm and fairly amicable, but one thing I didn’t expect to struggle with so much is telling people we’re actually getting divorced. Close friends know, our families know, but beyond that I keep finding ways to avoid the conversation. Work colleagues still ask how my ex is. School parents assume we’re just “having a rough patch”. Even when people mean well, I freeze when they ask questions and end up minimising it or changing the subject. Part of it is not wanting to deal with the reactions or the awkward sympathy. Part of it is that saying it out loud makes it feel more real and final than I’m ready for. I also worry about being judged, even though I know logically that happens less than we imagine. Has anyone else found this strangely hard? How did you decide who to tell, and when? Or did you just let people figure it out over time?

Lilypad at 28.01.2026 9:51:25

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Just doing a bit of a check-in with the community. Some weeks feel heavier than others, especially when you’re in the middle of practical stuff like forms, finances, or waiting on someone else to respond. How are things feeling for you right now, good, bad, or somewhere in between?

Mahalia from amicable at 26.01.2026 15:39:36

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It’s rarely what we expect. Was there anything that caught you off guard, in a good way or a hard one?

Jade from amicable at 23.01.2026 17:52:56

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We agreed to divorce last summer and things moved along fairly smoothly at first. Then just before christmas my ex said they wanted to pause everything. Not stop, just “pause and breathe”. I don’t feel the same. I’ve done a lot of emotional work to get to this point and going backwards feels really unsettling. At the same time, i don’t want to be cruel or pushy. Has anyone else had an ex ask to slow things down when you were ready to move forward? How did you handle it without things getting messy or resentful?

EmmyB at 23.01.2026 9:26:46

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My wife and i have been together 23 years, married for 18. No big drama, no affair, just slowly grew apart. Saying that out loud still feels strange. What’s overwhelming me is how tangled everything is. House, pensions, savings, even friendships. It feels less like a breakup and more like unpicking a whole life. People keep saying “at least it’s amicable” which i know is meant kindly, but it doesn’t make it easier to face starting again in my late 40s. If anyone else separated after a long marriage, how did you even begin to get your head around it all?

Northsea at 22.01.2026 10:57:12

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hi all, It’s a couple of weeks into the new year and i’m feeling a bit stuck. the new year’s motivation lasted about 5 days and now it’s just paperwork and kids back at school. I’ve got piles of divorce paperwork and life admin everywhere - bank forms, insurance stuff, pension things - and as soon as i tick one off another pops up. i’d like to start doing a few things just for me too, like getting some exercise, cooking meals i actually like, maybe even starting a small hobby, but i keep putting it off cos there’s so much admin and i feel guilty taking time for myself. has anyone else felt like this in jan? how did you get going without burning out or feeling selfish? any tips for balancing paperwork, co-parenting, and trying to rebuild a bit of normal life would be really helpful.

Raindrop at 13.01.2026 13:18:00

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Any tips around feeling a bit better after Christmas? I had a really lovely Christmas, my family and friends really helped me and made a big effort to make me feeling better during my first Christmas after separation. Now everything has calmed down, starting to feel a bit down honestly. Any advice on starting the new year feeling optimistic?

SeaSalt at 30.12.2025 11:45:17

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So I'm a dad and husband with combined ASD and ADHD (AuDHD). Essentially, I'm late diagnosed but it's years too late as the damage of unchecked behaviours and thinking I can change for my wife has lead to disappointment and broken promises, odd behaviours, hiding truths, forgetfulness, emotional disregulatuon etc. And all this whilst also trying to bring up 2 awesome children. My wife is set on divorce and wants out, she has stated her position saying if she knew I was AuDHD to begin with we wouldn't be together. I dont want a divorce, I still love her but I fear my understanding of my limitations is too late. Has anyone else been through anything like this and can suggest either a route to help or at least make things better on my kids?

AuDHD-Dad at 23.12.2025 2:56:06

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i’ve already started the divorce process, forms sent, money spent, all that admin, and i cant shake the feeling maybe i should have tried harder. couples therapy, counselling, actually talking things through, giving it one last proper shot before ending it. the thing is, i’m still in love with her. part of me feels like i’ve rushed, or given up too soon and it’s gutting. has anyone else been here, feeling regret after the process has already begun? how did you deal with the mix of love and loss and the feeling maybe you didnt fight hard enough? would really appreciate hearing from anyone whos been through this

BobbyB at 22.12.2025 16:01:04

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i'm not spending christmas day with my kids this year any advice that would help make the day feel any better?

JMP at 22.12.2025 12:39:16

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The holiday season can be intense, and even as we enjoy the festivities, it’s normal for emotions to run high. Thinking ahead to the new year, it can be really helpful to pause and reflect on what truly matters and how we want to move forward. On **Tuesday 6th January at 12pm**, Mindfulness and Mental Fitness Coach Solomon Slade will be running a live, interactive session called *Clarity: See what truly matters*. This session is all about slowing down, turning insights from the season into wisdom for the year ahead, and learning to navigate life with presence, self-knowledge, and patience. There’ll be some interactive elements, so you can ask questions or share how you feel as things come up. I’m curious, what’s one thing you’d like to focus on or carry into the new year? Sign up for Solomon's next session here - [https://amicable.space/webinar/clarity-see-what-truly-matters](https://amicable.space/webinar/clarity-see-what-truly-matters)

Mahalia from amicable at 19.12.2025 10:21:28

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I wasn’t expecting the friendship side of separation to hit this hard. Since we split, a few of our mutual friends have pretty much disappeared from my life. No arguments, no big fallouts, just… silence. They still see my ex, go to things he’s at, message him, all that. But with me it’s like I dropped off the map. I know no one is “obliged” to pick me, and I’m not trying to make people choose sides, but it stings. Some of these friends were at our wedding. Some I thought were mine as much as his. I keep wondering if I did something wrong or if people just don’t know what to say. Has anyone else had this happen? Do friendships settle again eventually, or do you just have to accept that some people drift off after a breakup? Would really appreciate hearing how others dealt with the weird social fallout.

LemonTree at 12.12.2025 14:43:19

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I just need to put this somewhere and maybe hear from people who understand because I’m feeling really all over the place. I left my husband earlier this year after being unhappy for a long time. Our marriage had a lot of toxic patterns, and since splitting, it’s been a mix of relief and exhaustion. We have a 12-year-old daughter, who mostly lives with me, but still has a room and her things at the old house. The difficult bit is that he has a new girlfriend, and she’s going to be staying at our old house this weekend. He asked me to let him know if our daughter needs anything from there so she can be around. I don’t love him anymore, but I’m feeling sad, anxious, and… honestly jealous, even though I know I shouldn’t be comparing myself. I think part of it is feeling protective of my daughter and worried about another “mum figure” entering her life. Part of it is also the old home itself - it’s full of memories, and imagining someone else there makes me ache. On top of that, he seems more confident and put together than he ever did with me while we were together, and that just stings. Am I being ridiculous for feeling like this? Is it normal to be upset about your ex’s new partner being in the house you shared? Would really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been through something similar.

SeaGlass at 27.11.2025 10:54:23

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Hindsight can be so insightful. Looking back, what do you wish you’d known or done differently at the start of your separation? Your experience might be exactly what someone else here needs to hear today.

Jade from amicable at 26.11.2025 10:01:11

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We’re going through what most people would call an amicable split. There’s no fighting, no resentment, no big betrayal. We still talk kindly, still check in on each other, still care about each other. It’s probably the healthiest our communication has been in years. And yet… I feel heartbroken in a way I didn’t expect. I think I assumed that doing it kindly would soften the blow, but instead it feels like the grief hits harder because the love is still there, just in the wrong shape. We both know we’re not right for each other anymore, but there’s still this deep care that makes the whole thing ache. It’s confusing too. How do you mourn something while still having warmth between you? How do you find the line between being supportive and holding on too much? It’s like trying to walk forward but looking back every few steps. Has anyone else been through this kind of “painful but kind” separation? Does it get less confusing with time? Would really appreciate hearing how others have navigated this emotional grey zone.

PotteryP at 26.11.2025 9:12:26

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I’m finding the emotional side of this divorce harder than I expected. I don’t have much family around and most of the friends we had were originally his. They’ve been polite, but it’s clear their loyalty sits with him, so I don’t feel able to talk to them about anything real. I’ve tried reaching out to a couple of acquaintances but it feels awkward, like I’m suddenly asking too much. I hate feeling like a burden. The days just feel long and heavy, and I worry that I’m going to get swallowed up by the loneliness of it all. I know people say to build a support system, but I honestly don’t know where to start. When everything feels raw and messy, how do you make new connections or find emotional support? If anyone’s been through this kind of isolation during divorce, I’d really appreciate hearing how you found people to talk to, or what helped you feel less alone.

Fern at 26.11.2025 8:01:02

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Hi all, I’m in the middle of separating and I’ve been finding it really tricky to handle everyone’s opinions. Friends and family mean well, but sometimes it feels like everyone has advice or a strong opinion on what I should do, and it’s just overwhelming. Has anyone else felt like this? How do you manage communicating with people without getting drained or caught up in arguments? I want support, not more stress, but I’m not sure how to set boundaries or explain what I need without hurting anyone. Would really appreciate hearing how other people navigate this. Thanks.

KitKat12 at 24.11.2025 11:36:56

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We often talk about having an 'amicable' or 'good' divorce, but what does that actually mean? Is it about communication, kindness, freedom, closure, or something else completely? I’d love to hear your thoughts on what makes a separation feel healthy and fair for everyone involved. The more we talk about it, the more we understand better ways forward.

Jade from amicable at 19.11.2025 10:45:25

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Seriously, how do people deal with all the ups and downs? One minute I’m fine, next I’m crying over nothing. Anyone got tips for keeping it together during all this madness?

Fizz at 15.11.2025 16:01:02

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We all have those really tough days during separation. Days that feel especially heavy. If you’ve been through it, what helped you get through those moments? And what would you say to someone who’s just starting their journey and might need a little hope or guidance right now? Sharing is caring

Jade from amicable at 10.11.2025 11:14:27

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how do people usually cope with the emotional rollercoaster of a divorce? can anyone else share their experience of how they felt throughout the process? and how long does it take to get back to some kind of normal after everything’s been turned upside down?

Pennyfarthing at 01.11.2025 13:14:57

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Currently in the process of divorce, it's really starting to take an emotional toll on me and my friends and family aren't in the same situation so as much as they try, they don't really understand what it's like going through this. Is there anywhere to access support from people who understand how hard this process is?

SHJ at 16.10.2025 19:43:02

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The past couple of years have brought a lot of challenges, including a difficult breakup/divorce. I keep trying to move forward, but just when I start to feel steady, it feels like everything crashes down again. I know I’m carrying a lot of emotions. Part of me doesn't want to share them either because I worry people won’t understand, or I don’t want to weigh anyone else down. Instead, I end up keeping it all inside, which usually leads to periods of isolation and overwhelm. It’s like each setback hits harder than the one before. Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you manage to break the cycle and find a healthier way to process your emotions? Any advice or perspective would mean a lot.

M.S at 30.09.2025 8:00:52

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How do people generally cope with the emotional side of a divorce? What are some ways to handle the rollercoaster of feelings that can come up?

QuantumJester92 at 26.09.2025 11:33:11

1397

Hi, Has anyone’s spouse ever become suicidal after you’ve said that you want a divorce? Would you stay in the relationship to keep them safe? If not, how would you handle the guilt of causing these feelings?

Sarah at 14.10.2024 11:55:29

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Hi, My wife and I are at the finances stage. She doesn't want to move on and is dragging out the process and making it hard on everyone. She has contacted 2-3 lawyers at this point. What can I do so that she accepts the situation? If it doesn't change and she still doesn't want to move on anything, how long until I contact a lawyer myself? Thanks M

Mike at 05.04.2024 9:08:39

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Im divorced now 2yrs and remarried a loving man but i dont know why my x wanted a divorce and i cant free myself of this and i want to move on 100% but cant

Mandy at 13.10.2023 10:24:22

3406

My wife wants a divorce. There have been problems, fights, arguments, with both of us responsible. But, now that it's out in the open, I truly believe that we can fix it. Despite all the bad stuff, there's amazing good stuff too: amazing camaraderie, friendship, teamwork when it comes to the kids and other stuff. Maybe I'm just kidding myself.

Sad bunny at 28.02.2023 7:30:30

3748

I am sad for my marriage please help me to get a divorce

Manav at 13.01.2023 19:26:18

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We have been married for 14 years, I requested the divorce in Nov 2019 and after reading the article of "how to divorce" i realize i am emotionally more ahead than my husband. I realize I am guilty of pressuring him to start making decisions as i am becoming impatient and want us to start planning for the kids future and life ahead. But how much time do i give him? We currently still living together and started divorce mediation but we have not told our children or extended family/friends as we decided only to tell once we agreed on the living arrangement, parenting plan and divorce settlement in order to have clear direction when we break the news. We have 2 children aged 4 and 7 years. I can see it is emotionally hard for my husband and i dont know how to support him. I have suggested he see a counsellor but he chooses not to and he doesnt have any close friends or family he can talk to. So what do I do? I tried only communicating via email to avoid confrontation but i dont receive any response to the emails. When i ask for a meeting to discuss matters he tells i am taking away time spent with the kids. I am at a lost and really just want to be able to have amicable relationship with him in order to co-parent but i am starting to feel it is not going to be possible as its is becoming more difficult to communicate with my husband about any topic.

Nazlie at 17.01.2020 8:15:18

6672

One afternoon, I was cooking a foreign cuisine for lunch when my wife called me from our room. I stood up and headed to her while leaving my phone at the couch. The moment I stepped inside the room, I heard her sobs and I wonder why. I stepped closer, sat beside her and wiped her tears away. I asked her why but she just shook her head. I let her cry in my shoulders until she felt relaxed. Few minutes after, she started talking. I faced her as she tried to gain composure. I asked her what happened and she said she wants a divorce. I wasn’t able to respond. My eyes went wide. I asked why. She said she doesn’t love me anymore. I told her that whatever problem we had can still be fixed and that divorce is not a solution. I told her how much I love her but she seemed deaf to my words. It seemed like her decision was final. She stood up and said, “Please make it happen.” I didn’t know what to think when she said those words. I love her but she’s not happy with me anymore. Should I let her go or maybe try to work this out? How could she end our marriage that easy?

brandon at 05.08.2018 8:02:09

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