Advice forum

Hi everyone, I'm hoping to gather some wisdom and advice from the community as I prepare for what I anticipate will be a challenging divorce. My wife and I have been married for 15 years and have a wonderful son, 7. Unfortunately, our relationship has reached a point where we both are unhappy. I want to divorce. My wife wants to stay together for financial security. However, I'm concerned things could get messy, primarily due to some past dynamics and my wife's history of making threats involving finances and child custody. While I'm committed to an amicable solution that prioritizes our son's well-being, I need to be prepared for potential roadblocks and ensure I can protect both him and myself during the process. Key Points to Consider: Financial Disparity: My annual income is approximately £200,000 (fluctuates based on basic salary, bonus, and shares). I covered most household expenses, including the purchase of our £700,000 home (mortgage ~£500,000). We borrowed from my in-laws, which has been repaid. Child Custody Concerns: Our son, while undiagnosed, exhibits strong indicators of ASD. My wife and I have differing views on diagnosis and support, but his well-being is my top priority. Communication Challenges: My wife has historically utilized intimidation and threats as communication tactics, which I fear could escalate during the divorce proceedings. I have documented instances of emotional abuse (against me, my son and her own family) as a precaution. Past Incidents: Several years ago, I reacted poorly to some stressful situations with anger outbursts, though never directed at my wife or anyone physically. I recognize it was unhealthy and have sought therapy to address these triggers. Seeking Advice: Given these complexities, I'm seeking advice on: Protecting my son's best interests: What steps can I take to ensure his well-being remains the central focus throughout the divorce? Mitigating potential financial risks: Considering the income and asset disparity, how can I approach a fair settlement that protects my and my son's future? Specifically, how should the income volatility be factored in, and the house equity handled? Effective communication strategies: Are there any recommended methods for navigating difficult conversations with my wife, especially if she attempts to use intimidation or manipulation? Preemptive measures: Should I document anything specific beyond the existing records of emotional abuse to safeguard myself from potential false accusations? I understand every situation is unique, and I appreciate any insights or guidance you can offer. This is a difficult time for everyone involved, but I'm determined to navigate it with integrity and prioritize our son's needs above all else. Additional Notes: I am located in the UK. I am a black man, and my wife is white-British. While I'm not overly concerned about racial bias, I'm aware it may be a factor and would appreciate any insights related to it. Thank you in advance for your time and support.

anonK at 29.12.2023 0:13:46

1093

Can I separate from my husband but live in the same house?

Kul at 20.09.2023 13:31:56

700

Q1: Does this mean you both have to be in a conversation while filling in the form online, or that one can fill in their parts, save it and then the other person can log in to finish it off? Q2: Is the Divorce with consent order service @ £1200 inc VAT per couple or per individual? thanks Dave

Dave at 02.01.2023 15:57:23

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My wife and I separated in early 2021. Some time later she took on a solicitor who prepared a 'Sole Divorce Application'. The application has a Case Reference Number. My wife has since stopped using that solicitor. We're currently trying to reach a financial settlement, with that process hopefully making progress. I have never had a solicitor. I never received any correspondence from the court asking me to respond to the 'application'. My question is: 'has the divorce process actually begun'? Given that a case reference number has been allocated one would assume so. But perhaps not??

Chris at 16.12.2022 15:34:20

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Hi There, My estranged husband doesn't have a forwarding address as he is a nomad. When filing for divorce, could documents be sent to him via email using docu-sign?

Jennifer at 12.09.2022 9:11:19

1091

Two older same sex women. Had a head on collision. Wife began drinking very badly for 3 years, became abusive, threats. I left the home after she became AbusiveI. She left the next morning with the dog. Takes him when she wants. Tells me when I can have him and makes threats to keep him. She has agreed to divorce. I want to keep my stuff and don’t want her to have any access to my pension or inheritance in the future. How can this work with access of our dog to share. Becomes very agitated when i don’t do what she wants. We are only renting. She had left me to do everything in the flat. Says she can not do things yet says she she lifts her scooter in her car. I just want to clear things up and divorce ASAP. She said she will sign paperwork. How long will it take to get a divorce? Can I get to keep my dog half time?

Jennifer at 06.04.2022 22:23:47

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My husband delays divorce as first he gets rid of his assets but now I am suspicious about selling for cash family house that’s his name is on it that I won’t have any financial benefit, we live here 15 years and leaved together before moving in. Can I somehow secure house for me and child going beyond home rights which I had registered and found out really not useful when he was trying to sell already house and sell was going shockingly through and only me when I contacted right people was only able to stop it.

Anna at 02.01.2022 13:22:49

1410

Hi I am looking for some advice or if anyone has experienced anything similar in the past. I am currently married to a Thai national/UK national, for 11 years. We got married in Thailand in 2010 and since then she has been living in the UK, and over the years she’s have become a UK citizen. We have a house in the UK, along with a business and land in Thailand along with a small daughter. With this in mind I am trying to understand what would be the best process (legally) to divided up our assets. The most simple way for me in my mind would be to keep the house in the UK, and look to sell some of the assets in Thailand for a clean break. Although my main concern at the moment is for my daughter, she was born in the UK and has so far (due to covid) never been to Thailand. With this in mind I would be looking to keep custody of her for myself in the UK and alone we are looking to keep things as civil and amicable as possible would be looking to keep in her in the UK though-out the process. I am currently working full time in the UK, whereas my wife is currently unemployed. Also given that we had assets in both the UK and Thailand, would we need to seek legal advice in both countries to ensure fair/equal distribution of asses or for example could this all be done legal in the UK Thank you

Yorkskev at 17.12.2021 8:53:48

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We have been seperated for over 3 years, I live in Germany and my husband lives in Finnland, we have agreed on the finances and both want a divorse, we were married in England, can we get a divorse in England.

Beverley at 24.08.2021 9:58:23

1935

My wife and I are planning to divorce in the coming months having been married since 1995 but separated for the last 5 years (after the marriage broke down she moved 150 miles away and rented a place close to her new workplace). We have a large house (6 beds) with two grown kids still at home, but who are likely to be moving out in the next year or so. The house is fully owned by us and there is no mortgage, and in the event either of us dies, our wills state that our half transfers to the kids. Covid restrictions eventually forced my wife to return to the marital home and work remotely, but fortunately because of the property size we have successfully continued living separate lives for the last year under the same roof, and we still get on cordially with each other. But she does not want to rekindle the marriage nor to find someone else, nor prevent me from finding someone else either (I am actively looking), so it makes sense to now clear a path for a new relationship and potential remarriage on my part. Depending on how things pan out in a new relationship of mine, either a new partner could buy my wife out in due course, (she most likely wouldn’t be my wife by then but just a joint owner living in the house) or she could buy me out perhaps using equity release from next year, when she will be 55. Pension-wise we both have our own and would just propose to keep our own entitlements. Is all this a situation amicable.io could help with, does this sound like a reasonable plan, and what might the costs be?

Martin at 26.07.2021 12:57:27

2703

I have been legally separated for 2 yrs,and wish for a full divorce..what do i need to do and how much in costs would i be looking at

Beverly Lewis at 05.03.2021 19:12:10

3073

I own a business with my wife 50 - 50 this is key as we are still working together and my wife does not want to stay in the business.

Tim McLaughlin-Green at 04.02.2021 16:28:11

2740

Hello. My ex-partner has stated that they will only accept my petition for divorce if they get 50% of my pension and 50% of the equity in the home once it is sold. (I have no problem with this). However, my ex wants to sell immediately to have access to the equity. I am neither in a position to remortgage, because of my credit rating, or to sell because I will struggle to rent a property suitable for when I have our children (3 children, I have them each week, every other weekend and some school holidays). I would like to offer to buy my ex out of the property over a 4 year period at a set amount per month. Do you know if there is a mechanism for doing this? And, should my ex challenge it, would the court consider my offer a suitable one? Is this what a consent order is for? Thank you in advance.

C.Lomas at 30.11.2020 17:45:34

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Myself and my wife are currently going through a very amicable divorce. We split everything after separating, and have agreed we don't want to go after each other's assets, and have come to arrangement with the kids. However, we have both been asked to complete a D81 'statement of financial information' form for the courts. I am an IT contractor, and I have set up a limited company with myself as director, so I have a few questions about some of the information it asks for as it's not as straightforward as normal employee. I've no problem providing any of the information - I just want to make sure I'm providing it correctly. 1. It asks for a figure for my total capital, such as savings. I have some of my own personal savings in a personal savings account, but the bulk of my capital is in my limited company account. Should this capital figure include capital in the limited company? 2. It asks for a figure for my liabilities. In order to buy my own flat after we separated, my mum lent me some money to go towards the deposit. Can/should I list this, even though it's an 'informal' liability with a family member? 3. It asks for a figure for net monthly income. I have a couple of questions here. I pay myself a tax efficient monthly salary, and then top up with dividends. I am assuming this figure should include salary AND dividends? And also, my dividends may vary from month to month depending on my outgoings, so it's not the same figure each month. Should I put an average over the past 12 months?

Chris at 21.11.2020 10:42:42

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My partner is dishonest, has no empathy for our son and is now demanding her share from a Loveless marriage of 10 years. I bought the house 30 years ago lost my job have no income and can't pay huge legal bills. She has put a charge on the property and uses legal threats of ruining me. what can I do?

john rogers at 05.11.2020 13:37:28

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My mother passed away a few months ago and I am thinking about buying my brother and sister out so I can finally have a home of my own. I've been accepted for a mortgage but having read the paperwork the building society has sent me, they have put me down as single. I am currently in the process of getting divorced. I'm just waiting for the CBO to complete. I think my mortgage broker has given them the wrong information regarding my marital status. My name has been taken off the mortgage and the title deeds of the marital home. Am I still going to be eligible for a mortgage to buy my mothers house ?

Neil Dare at 27.10.2020 20:21:56

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My husband and I are separating and we're starting to discuss how we'll separate our finances - I've been told by a friend who's just gone through a divorce that I can go for a 70 30 split of everything in our marital pot. I've spent ten years bringing up the kids so haven't worked until recently and I've only got back a couple of days a week. The house is worth around half a million and our three kids want to stay in the house with me. I think he has a big pension, I have hardly anything in my pension. We have some savings, a couple of cars and some valuables such as art etc. I don't want to fall out with him and want to do this amicably without getting solicitors involved - just not sure where to go from here???

Alice at 23.10.2020 9:03:02

15287

not married but have a joint mortgage and separating. Is it possible as I have funds to give my partner their share pay off a lump sum of our mortgage and have the existing mortgage transferred to my name without taking out a new mortgage. My partner and I have discussed this?

marion hammond at 15.09.2020 16:24:51

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We are separating amicably and have both worked full-time on similar salaries throughout. I put in a considerable deposit to the house (1/3) and have since put in significantly more to improvements. If we agree to allow for this, will a judge automatically perceive this as unfair?

XX at 31.08.2020 17:49:31

4574

I have an incredibly demanding job, should I talk to HR about my situation? Th aim would be to see if there is any help they offer to their employees during difficult life changes- at the same time, I do not want to jeopardize my position and perception as a capable leader.

MM at 11.08.2020 11:32:27

4000

Morning . So my wife has filed for a divorce. We have been together 10 years married for 31/2 (gutted) how ever she was in the property before me and I have only been paying the mortgage off for 6 years . Signed a 60 40 split on the mortgage. Now she is saying I’m only entitled to 40% of the 6 years I have been paying not the hole house . I have saving asset etc is it worth me walking away she leave me alone I leave her alone and it’s job done ?

John ross at 07.08.2020 5:37:07

5866

If a person finds out that their details have been used to get married 21 years ago and they do not know any of the parties, Or their whereabouts. How do they conduct the divorce/ annulment?

Unknown at 30.07.2020 6:56:35

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My husband and I are getting a divorce, and are currently going through mediation. We are toying with the idea of selling the house in 2 years. In the interim, I will live there. My husband has a job in Barbados so has no need to live here. I earn £1200 a month, he earns £5000 (and gets a separate package for his cost of living and car). Our total Outgoings (mortgage and bills) is around £2000. He is agreeing to pay half towards the mortgage, car and council tax meaning he pays £700. The remaining is therefore £1400. I earn £1200 so we are in a £200 deficit. Should my husband pay that as well as extra in order for me to have money for cost of living?

Faye at 06.07.2020 8:34:19

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We are in the process of divorcing, the NI has been granted. When we married, 9 years ago, we agreed I would give up work, due to him working long hours and no child care available. We have 2 children plus I have 2 from a previous marriage, (1 at Uni and the others living with me). My husband earns a six figure salary and has a pension. I have seen emails from his financial advisor telling him if he wants to up his pension payments he can "hide them elsewhere in the meantime given our circumstances"... He has a solicitor, even though at the beginning we agreed not to. So the bottom line is should I get a solicitor too? I can't really afford the fees and I paid for the initial divorce papers etc

Lisa Ali at 10.06.2020 17:50:29

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My Husband and I have agreed how to split our assets and have drafted a consent order. The funds will not however transfer to me until our current property transfers into his name, at which point I have no legal right to reside there. I need to find somewhere else to live. The estate agents will not let me view any properties unless I am in a proceedable position. How can I prove availability of funds when the mortgage offer will be in my husbands name? Will the consent order be acceptable?

Tracey at 03.06.2020 11:17:08

4090

Do you have any idea when the new divorce law will come?

B at 26.05.2020 10:32:19

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I am at the stage that I would like to really separate from my husband as we are both so unhappy and stressed and I feel the kids are now suffering from the anxiety in the household. I just don't know what my financial situation would be afterwards? The facts We have been married for 15 years, during which time we have had two children- a daughter age 11, and son age 8 who has complex special needs. I gave up full time work after my daughter was born and 2 years ago I gave up paid work completely to be my son's full time carer as it was becoming increasingly difficult to commit to my job and look after my son. My elderly mother also lives with us and she too requires some help and supervision. My husband has recently qualified as a nurse and has secured employment in this field after 4 years of study which also took its toll as I took on the responsibility of childcare etc mainly on my own during this time. We have around 60k equity on our house ( but still have a mortgage of almost 140k), a few thousand in savings, almost 10k , no debts, no credit cards etc, no car ( we have a motability one) . Also, the savings we have left were from inheritance from my mum when she sold her house to come to live with us. I would dearly love to stay on in our house as it is walking distance from my son's special needs school, and has many adaptations to help look after my son such as ramps, wet room etc . Under Scot's Law would I have to pay my husband half the equity of the house if I wanted to take on the mortgage myself ( with a guarantor) as I couldn't afford to do this. Or would circumstances be taken into account such as my non financial contribution and support to the marriage and family, and my husband's future earning potential compared to mine ( my son will require lifelong care 24/7) and also the matter of my husband's pension? I suppose I'm wondering whether it's just a 50:50 split in Scotland after separation and divorce or are circumstances taken into account. Many thanks

JB at 06.05.2020 18:55:35

3806

My ex husband has messed about with regard to seeing our children for the past 2 years since I left him. I had to leave the marital home with the children as he became abusive and wouldn't leave. I rented a house but also had to pay half the mortgage on our house. I spent £4000 in total until the house was sold. I was not asked if I wanted or offered any of our house contents. He sold or kept everything. I have since had to involve the police on more than one occasion which has resulted in me having to get a non-molestation order against him. Since the court order, he has now decided to concentrate on his relationship with his girlfriend and her daughter and no longer have anything to do with his children. He has reduced his monthly payments (I have now involved the CMS). I offered a settlement late last year, after making an application to court I decided to have one more try and resolving this out of court. I had a counter offer because he has £5k of personal debts to pay off. My offer for settlement is for 50%. Though now that he is no longer having contact with the children, how likely is a judge to award him 50% or the assets. He earns quite a bit more than me, but I do have some savings (accrued post separation due to a work issue). I am concerned that if this goes to court, I could end up worse off than if I just accept his offer of (less than) 50%. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Delbel Alexis at 03.05.2020 15:14:23

3523

Hello I'm desperate for advice. In June 2018, I decided to take solicitor to help me with divorce matter. We decide  for fix price of £1500 plus tax,  for process of uncontested divorce.  In beeginging of 2015 my marriage break down, I was married actually less than year, before we got separate in begging 2015. We didnt even live togethere (I'm not british, she is), we dont have kids, flat, debts togethere or anything like this.  In June 2018 I payed to solicitor for uncontested divorce. In end of the same year (2018), I and my solicitor where aware that my wife will not sign divorce petition freely. Until today, April 2020, almost 2 years time, my solicitor manage to do service of the Divorce Petition and Acknowledgment Of Service, as the same we already used all possible option on this stage.  I need to mention that on couple of occasion there where misunderstoods between me and solicitor, and as well I have to chase her for updates as she doesn't inform me almost at all about what happening with case, even for time of month or longer (each time when I'm trying to call her or send email she tells me, I'm asking the same questions, and she will charge me extra for it).  Somewhere in middel of all of this my solicitor change as well office, about which court was not aware, and my solicitor didnt know that court didnt record this fact. I discover it by calling to court, as it was moment that I start to have doubts about my solicitor, and I wanted to check on my own what with my divorce by calling court. When I get in touch next day with my solicitor to talk about it, she was completely not aware and suprised that court is still sending everything to her old company (which I assume put my divorce matter in delay).  I think it's important as well to mention that my solicitor is forgeting about things (she actually ask me on one of face to face appointments if I been married before, she just forgot that she didnt divorce me yet) she didn't notice important email with details regarding address, day rutine, photos of my wife, necessary for Acknowlegment of Service, and she accused me that I didnt provide her this details.  Now I been informed by my solicitor that we use all possible options of uncontested divorce and therefore next step will be applying for bailiff, and the same, case is from now one contested divorce and she will be charging me on hourly rate of £250 plus tax.  Over 10 days ago I send her email with my concerns regarding time frames, quality of work done, and questions regarding break down of how she will exactly charge me. I didnt get respond until now.  I want to know if all this is normal, and if it should look like this, regarding time frames, way how she work and how she provide me her services? I would like to know if my solicitor should charge me just extra for bailiff now, and then when we will apply for decree nisi it's something for what I already pay as a uncontested divorce? I want to know if we need consent of my wife as it's already 5 years time when we are separately  and we even didnt saw each other from beegingn of 2015? I really get to point that I'm not able to handle it anymore, it's such stress, it's takeing 2 years, it's a lot of money, I cannot move forward with my life.  Apologized for my English.  I would really appreciate if somebody would be able to advice me. Many thanks.

Alimak at 10.04.2020 18:21:07

3812

I don't know where to begin. I feel like my situation is so unique, and so helpless. I am a British male in his mid 30s. I met my American wife when I lived in America. We have two kids (1 and 3 years old). We now live and work in Germany and the plan was to move to China later this year to continue work and progress our careers. The caveat is that our relationship has become completely untenable. Without boring you with the details, we argue multiple times a day over the smallest of things. Not only is it terrible for our daughters to see this, but it makes both of us utterly miserable. I do not think she is a bad person, just someone who is completely different from myself and it has become evident that our marriage is over. If we both lived in the UK, or the States, I wouldn't see this as such a big and unique issue. I would move down the road and continue to see my children as often as possible. Similarly, if we didn't have children we could both simply move on - I don't have much care for our assets and am willing to take any financial hit to get out of this misery. However, having children in such unique circumstances seems to be making this very opaque. I am distraught at the thought of my children going back to the States to continue their life whilst I remain in China or return to the UK. I would be lucky to see them more than a couple of times a year for the rest of their lives. I guess this is a much a rant as anything else, as I am fairly resigned to defeat being the father, but do I have any hope of winning custody or the children staying with me. I will have a far better income than my wife if she were to return to the States (indeed, she would barely be able to afford to keep them) and, were I to return to the UK, would be bringing the girls home to the only family they have (my sister and parents are very close to my children, whilst my wife does not speak to her family). Irrespective of the custody outcome, what are the next steps in this procedure? Any advice or suggestions - particularly from someone who may have gone through this before - are very welcome. Many thanks, H

H at 03.04.2020 19:29:23

4111

My husband and I have agreed to separate and divorce and are in full agreement over how to split our assets and childcare. I will be retaining a higher proportion of 'joint' assets because I have put in more of my own savings and parent's savings over the years. A solicitor indicated that our current plan on how to settle finances would be considered 'weak' as my husband would effectively receive much less than 50%, even though we're both agreed he'll get 50% of the house he's paid into and our jointly saved cash which we both consider fair. I am now wondering is it better to split our finances and 'separate' before filing for divorce? i.e. Remove his name from the property deeds and put into his name the amount we've agreed he's entitled to? Would this allow him to buy a house without it being seen as a second home and therefore incurr higher stamp duty? Would this mean I can avoid paying stamp duty if we remove him from the house deeds before we officially separate? Not sure what order to do things in or how to proceed! Thanks! Very confusing!

Naomi at 08.03.2020 16:29:40

3776

I have been separated since December 2007. I know where my ex was then, but I have no idea if he is still there. We split all of the house and finances etc in 2008, but I have had no contact with him since then. How do I go about serving him with papers, and do I need a consent order as the finances have been settled? He has little or no family, so I can't use them to find him. Also, I have moved since and don't want him to know my new address. Can I keep my location private?

Jo at 02.03.2020 8:23:37

3576

Can someone help me please as I am going in unrepresented now due to lawyer costs (the other party has always been unrepresented) Main issue is: We married in 1990. Divorced in 2012. No financial order was made as none of us had money between us, he has always been claiming benefits and not working. I have worked to upkeep the rent and our children who are now adults. I received a unsecured loan from family in 2015 in which I bought a property few months later whilst still divorced. I remarried same person (I know big mistake) in 2016 just under a year after loan and lived in the house for 2 years till he was removed by non-molestation and occupation order. We are now going through ancillary relief before the divorce finalises and he is wanting 50% of my property. He has not contributed to the upkeep of it whatsoever whilst we were married/living in it. I was told by different lawyers that the starting point is 50% and he may get it as he is disabled, on benefits and is old. I am unable to work now to my health and have reached retirement age. My whole case is that the loan I received to purchase the house fully was granted and purchased whilst I was divorced, the marriage was under 3 years and he did not contribute to the upkeep of house (bills all came out of my bank) question: Does anybody know under what law/article/act I can find information about divorce finances if there is a loan included? I tried to check on gov but can't find a specific act/article/law I can reference in the court hearing.. Also, under what act does it mention 50/50 split?

mim at 16.02.2020 17:56:58

3248

I married my wife in her home country of Pakistan. Does that make any difference to a divorce here? The relationship has broken down and is very complex but it involves adultery. Does adultery have to be proved as I dont think she would admit it.

Rodger at 07.02.2020 8:54:18

3615

We've just started to talk about putting the house on the market, how it will impact our boys and how we feel. This is so bloody hard and we haven't even started. I feel a lot of fear about being on my own and making the move. Just a scared

Mon at 05.02.2020 14:24:27

3559

Hello - I am, and always have been, the main provider in our family - my husband has his own business but is now struggling to support himself since we have separated and he moved out (he is currently renting as we go through mediation etc). He has not paid me any child maintenance since since we separated and indeed has never paid anything towards our 2 children's nursery/ after-school care costs etc. I think he is going to try and get me to pay him a spousal allowance AND/OR insist that he gets a higher split of equity from our family home (where I am still living)... I feel this is really unfair as I have always hated what I have done for work but have been stuck doing it as I was (and am) the main provider, whilst I supported him re-training etc etc. Furthermore, he has very wealthy parents and is set to inherit vast amounts of money in the future and I don't have this kind of support coming my way. I know you can't think about things like future inheritances but it just all adds to me feeling like the whole situation is extremely unfair. I know the law would support a spouse if they been the main care giver of the children but what happens in this instance (ie both spouses have been working but one is main provider)?

Jody at 03.02.2020 11:43:44

3256

My soon to be ex husband and i agreed a split and sent of the finacial consent order. However the judge has come back asking for a net effect schedule, i have no clue what this is and have found minimal information on the internet. I had a solicitor draw up the consent order but I am not wholly convinced they did a great job and I am reluctant to pay her any more money. How do I sort this net effect schedule?

catherine merrick at 02.02.2020 22:30:54

5414

My partner has a final salary index linked pension. We are both 55 How is something like that split?

Clare Thompson at 01.02.2020 1:24:17

3566

My wife and I are planning to divorce after 14 years together. We have three dependent children. My mother left me her house before she passed away, this was before I got married. This is not our primary home, does my wife have any claim to it?

Unknown at 28.01.2020 20:07:28

3348

I am currently coming to an agreement with my ex regarding the sale of the marital home. I am agreeing to a far lower split of the equity in the house in exchange for it being sold now and my name being released from the mortgage. My question is, what stops my ex delaying the sale and dragging the process out? She requires the equity to move straight in to another house she buys and so will have a new chain and property to deal with. She could easily drag the process out meaning I have not only agreed to a lower percentage but im also lefty on the mortgage for years to come. Can a consent order have a time limit on the house sale before it is void? What would happen after that point?

TW at 07.01.2020 10:12:37

3265

I've heard that you're automatically divorced if you are apart for ten or more years, is this true?

Bernadette at 13.12.2019 12:32:41

3560

We both want to get this sorted as soon as possible, have no finances to sort and have agreed what we'll do with the children - how quickly can we get the divorce finalised?

unknown79 at 13.12.2019 12:25:30

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I have received a consent order but not my decree absolute. The consent order says "IT IS ORDERED (BY CONSENT) (With effect from Dcecree Absolute): The respondent shall pay..... Payments shall start on the date of this Order, and shall end on..." So my question is, when does the consent order come in to effect and have to be paid, from the Decree Absolute, or the Consent Order, or only when both are in place?

B at 04.12.2019 9:27:25

3665

i have filed divorce against emotional and verbal abuse allegations. my husband got my petition and filed cross petition against me based on his own false allegations. I respond on his cross petition that i am not agree with his allegations but i want the divorce to happen quickly. so i allow his petition to stand but Its been 3 months after that he is not responding. what should i do? he has changed his solicitor as well. and his solicitor is not responding as well.

N.b at 03.12.2019 17:34:15

3655

I'm currently going through a divorce and we have had an initial mediation session. One of the challenges we have is that I currently provide for my wife 100% (she doesn't work). We have around £240K equity in the house and 2 children, aged 5 and 8. There is around £170K left to pay on the mortgage. My wife had a low paid job when she worked before and she readily admits that there is no way she could take on the current mortgage. I earn £75K a year. We're aiming for a 50/50 custody split so we need to support 2 houses. After the initial mediation session, my mediator asked me to contact a mortgage broker to determine if it's feasible to take on 2 mortgages. I've contacted a mortgage broker but it simply isn't financially feasible to take on 2 mortgages. I'm happy to help my wife with living costs (within reason) but I think the mortgage should be in her own name. As I understand from solicitors and mediators, there would be an expectation that if she stays in the house, the mortgage is her own name even if she receives support from me with the mortgage payments. It doesn't seem feasible to pay the mortgage for a property I don't live in for the next 13 years. I really want the children to stay in their current home but it just doesn't seem financially feasible. The only way this could be done is for me to support 2 homes but that's a massive commitment on my part. Given the disparity of incomes, I think a split of more than 50/50 in my wife's favour would be more appropriate. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Alex Routledge at 28.11.2019 22:00:24

4084

My wife has said that she is going to get a divorce but can I fight against it

Jason Rouse at 28.11.2019 19:55:45

3412

What are my rights on forcing someone to split and sell the house? Main issue was lack of intimacy and affection over a period of years. And when I arranged a weekend away to chat abiut these issues he discloses he has had an std since we met and never told me.. my suspicions are that this was from a time 2 years in to the relationship when I suspected him cheating but he says not.. I really cant just cant get over this and counselling has just not worked.. Husband refuses to leave the house, complication is we have had a joint business for over 10 years with lots of loans in both are names that went into business ( not doing great btw) but is based at home. We have 2 kids who he adores and is a good dad.. Our money issues forced me to start my own business 18 months ago which is doing okay as well as my full time job meaning he does most of the school run etc.l and I am working myself into the ground most of the time. Should I leave and take kids? Rent somewhere and then leave? Ps; I'm not leaving them... Really feel trapped and how the arguments are spilling over into the kids space and I just cant do this to them. Any advice welcome x

Jo at 01.11.2019 20:05:29

3902

I've a limited company which I'm joint director with my wife ...we are divorcing. She doesn't commit much time to the business, meaning that I've had to work very long hours just in order to raise enough income to stay in our (expensive) London rental. We can't work together (we just don't get along...her work ethic suck, always arguing)...but now that we're divorcing she wants to remain in London with our kids...our kids aren't doing well at school & my estranged wife had wanted to move them prior to the divorce (meaningshe wasn't worried about their upheaval), so with that in mind I think it's better we just relocate out of London where we can find 2 places much cheaper (town to be chosen by both of us - 2 separate properties)...she won't & is digging her heels in to stay in London (ludocrously expensive)....and is pretty much just expecting me to finance that. So as it stands, I've already been working too hard to keep a roof above our heads...but now we're divorcing...well, my mind boggles at how high our overheads are going to be...two properties rented...1 being in London....I just don't think I'd be able to cope with the work & stress. Nope, I can't work that hard anymore - it's crazy - So to my question...we can either try to sell the business (tough, becuase the business really is me...probably wouldn't raise much anyway), or we can wind down the business...but what I worry about is that if I do either of those two things, then our income dries up ....& I would worry that any judge would consider this reckless & therefore just give my ex-wife most/all of our (considerable) cash assets to weather her income-less storm with the kids (most of our cash assets pre-dated me meeting her - I'd worked hard for 22yrs & had properties...sold about 6 months prior to meeting her...so had a lot of cash assets) Are my worries justified? Surely a Judge can't expect me to work my fingers to the bone on my jack jones to finance her London lifestyle? (this is what has caused the marriage to fail in the first place!), but now I'd have to work even harder. I'd rather sell up & stack shelves...a nice simple, stress free job

Drew Peacock at 01.11.2019 15:24:22

3928

Hi all, My name is Kath and I NEED a divorce but I don't think I can afford it by the usual channels. He holds access to our finances, stupid I know! I have some cash out aside, not a huge amount though. I came across this site revivaldivorce.com and it looks like it could be what I need. They offer a range of different packages. I've done some research on the attorney who runs it and he seems legit and reputable. Does anyone else have experience using this system?

Kath83 at 25.10.2019 14:32:02

3390

I have servedmy wife with a divorce petition on a five year separaration, seeking a financial consent order. She has received the papers and left and answerphone message to state she has received then. She is saying she will not sign if I am to going to take the house. She lives with y two children 20 and 23 all in full time work. If she doesn’t respond can I proceed anyway to the court to grant the divorce and would an answerphone message from my wife and messages from my daughter be enough proof to take to court to proceed without consent.

Gareth Mitchell at 25.10.2019 14:12:29

3431

To complete an application for a consent order, do you still need to fill in the complete financial disclosure form? Or is there a way just to keep it simple and get something legally binding where both parties just agree to keep what is/was theirs?

Emily Wiser at 23.10.2019 13:48:12

3601

Hi I'm start my divorce one a gov Web site So far I done everthing online and my question is Are now ill be doing everything on line like a apply for decree nisi and after absolutely And are my wife can send a response online too

Voytec at 09.10.2019 14:55:14

3540

The decree absolute paperwork was posted before the 6 weeks and 1 day were up, does this matter?

n/a at 07.10.2019 13:09:30

3631

Hi guys I'm just in the process of getting my divorce underway buy filling out the application on the gov.uk website, but am very confused. As my soon-to-be ex-wife are amicable, I'm going to apply for a consent order to say that i keep what's mine, and she keeps what's hers. On numerous sources, this is referred to as a "Financial Order". On the Gov.UK website, under the section "Dividing your money and property", I have to choose whether I'd like to apply for a financial order. However, the way it's described, it sounds like this is only to be applied for if we DON'T agree on sharing assets... "If you disagree with your wife about how your property, money, pensions and other assets will be split, then you can ask the court to decide for you. This includes maintenance payments. These decisions are called 'financial orders'. You can apply for orders for yourself, and/or, if appropriate, for your children. If you both agree on how to split your money and property and want to make it legally binding, you can apply for a 'consent order'." Could someone please help with this, and advise on if i should be selecting this option? Many thanks in advance!

Paul at 06.10.2019 15:51:37

3757

Hello all. I’m seeing a solicitor next week, but I’m impatient and I’m hoping someone may have been in a similar situation to mine – my husband left 2.5 years ago and since then has not contributed to the house (just paid his basic child support). I have paid about £30k of mortgage payments in that time and of course all the other bills etc. He wants me to sell the house now, I don’t want to but I’m willing to be fair to release his equity. However I think the £30k I’ve paid should come off his equity. He doesn’t agree. Anyone else been in this situation? Any advice appreciated.

Upside at 05.10.2019 9:44:27

3526

We seperated 2 years ago and sold the house. The ex wife has the 2 children so we split the proceeds 60/40 in her favour. She kept everything in the house and the car. I was the higher earner hence she should have got more than me and so she did. We are both happy with this, we agreed everything on seperation and we are both happy. Do I need to put the house profit split in the clean break order or as the money has all long gone on us both setting up new homes do we leave it off? The decree absolute is coming up in a few weeks

Bob at 04.10.2019 19:17:55

3666

We have started our divorce and are sorting out our finances but it's taking longer than we thought to agree on what we want to do. What's the cons of getting the consent order sorted after the decree absolute?

Maurice at 23.09.2019 11:28:53

5120

I'm finalising the financial agreement with my wife which is (pensions aside) now agreed and subject to an open letter between solicitors. It's going to take a couple of months to firm up pension split and get a consent order. The marital home is transferring to my wife. I am in the process of buying a new house. My solicitor tells me that I will be liable for the higher rate of stamp duty (due to owning 2 houses) unless the marital home formally transfers to my wife before completion. 2 questions: - Is there any way around this? - What does 'formally transfers' actually entail, is this just having the consent order agreed or does something else need to happen? I know that you can reclaim the higher rate if the house transfers after the completion but I would prefer to avoid it if possible. Thanks.

Paul Smith at 09.09.2019 11:26:50

3468

Hi I have separated from my husband and we both agree to divorce but I want to divorce as soon as possible. How quick can I get a divorce and can I complete from another country

Amanda beaumont at 08.09.2019 18:20:28

3474

If I've been in a relationship that's abusive can I get a devorce straight away

Emma Harrhy at 29.08.2019 16:12:50

3409

Reading previous questions, realise that our mortgage was partly paid with some money that my husband's parents gave us. Can my husband refuse to give me half of the house value because of this?

Babs at 17.08.2019 10:52:56

3563

TLDR: If prenup explicity excludes the assets before marriage from being in marital property, and such assets include illiquid shares in startup that might go up 10x in price over next 10 years, does the appreciation/gain in value of these shares at time of divorce excluded from marital property as well? Longer version: I would move in with my partner, who I have been dating for around 1 year. Our aim is to live together and get married over the course of next 2-3 years We are both happy to sign a co-habitation agreement and later a pre-nuptial agreement if/when we get married, that sets out the assets we have before we start cohabiting/got married and keeps them out of the divorce settlement if it might happen My assets are some cash, one house, and 90% shares of my startup which I believe will do well Roughly speaking Cash = £50k Property = £100k in equity (£500k in value and £400k in mortgage) Shares in Startup = Startup is currently valued very less, maybe £300k in value, but can grow 10x over next 3-4 years to reach say £10mn in valuation If cohabitation/prenup specifically says that assets acquired before marriage/cohabitation are excluded from communual assets that should be divided in case of a breakup, do the startup shares (and their appreciation is my main point here) excluded fully? Or the value of the shares at time of marriage is benchmarked and any appreciation over this price is included as marital property Thanks

Dean Jones at 14.08.2019 18:30:48

3262

Wife cheated on me for the last 4 month’s, she has admitted to everything as she was caught in the act so to speak. Married for 30 years , quite well off. I want to divorce but I don’t know where to start

TM at 03.08.2019 2:18:25

4032

Hi. We were married for two years when my wife left me to start a new relationship with someone else. We have only been separated for two months but we are both eager to move forward. Is it too soon to be able to apply for a divorce? Thanks.

Darren at 02.08.2019 13:26:47

3351

I recently inherited a sum of money, 30k of which was used to pay off our mortgage. Would this be reclaimable when my wife and I separate and sell the house?

NIGEL JAMES at 30.07.2019 12:57:29

3560

Can my ex solicitor represent her if my new partners (who is seeking divorce from her husband), is the same solicitor??

Paul Sellars at 20.07.2019 21:23:46

3317

What should I include as my income when applying for a discount on the government court fee to divorce?

anon3 at 17.07.2019 10:30:29

3622

We'd like an amicable separation and divorce after 21 years of marriage. Children are 19 and 17yrs. We've discussed dividing all assets fairly with me getting just a little more as I'll probably have kids more and need a bit more space. We have both had inheritances that we put into the property, with me putting in more and he's kept a larger sum back in savings. I earn considerably less than my husband, by about 10 times and so things will be very tough. We're happy to sell now to start our new lives and do things legally later on. He's happy to pay some maintenance for few years until I'm more sorted. We're ok to do this by ourselves, but have been advised this is not wise - why is that?

Mrs Deb Holtchester at 16.07.2019 6:37:54

3474

My alcoholic wife and I separated in February. I am our 3 daughters' primary caregiver, as she only sees the girls 1 day a week. It is now July and she has a new partner she has moved in with after knowing him just 4 weeks. Her family are demanding that I leave the girls in her care as this new partner is 'suitable to supervise'. I have refused as I don't know this man, have offered 5 suitable supervisor alternatives (there was a social services supervision order, since removed but I am still responsible for their safety). My question is, is it my responsibility to 'get to know' this man, as her family say it is as I don't know him or trust him to supervise

Dominic at 02.07.2019 18:44:48

3436

I'm separating from my wife and want to know long we need to be separated for before we can legally separate / divorce. We stopped living together four months ago.

anon444 at 01.07.2019 14:01:10

3625

my pension fund have given me a cetv figure of £160000 for 33 years and a £53000 for the period of my second marriage 13 years. there is a house with £60000 equity in it .as my pension was subject to off setting in my first divorce , will the court deport form a 50/50 starting point and ring fence the 20 year period i paid in the pension before i married my second wife and just use the £53000 in the division ,if not what percentage on the £160000 cetv will be used .thanks steve 53000 ctev for the

steve at 21.06.2019 23:45:52

3939

In Filling in the Form A Notice of intention to proceed with a financial application. The section called Nature of application is a little confusing, I want to clean break order by consent.. We have both agreed that as there are no assets to dispute, we have both moved on with our lives and have no need to seek maintenance from each other or divide pensions, but obviously want a clean break to prevent any future claims, what box would you tick as the type of order to apply for.

Mike wagstaffe at 17.06.2019 15:36:45

4226

Hi. My wife and I are hopefully almost divorced. We're awaiting a decision from the court on the financial order. I have been living with my parents for 3 years (with kids visiting twice a week). Can't afford to move out while I'm paying half the mortgage on fmh. My question is. If I move out now, into rented accommodation and assisted by my parents (till the fmh is sold and I can pay my rent) will that have any negative impact on the case? My wife has always insisted that my parents will 'look after me' financially. So after the financial order is granted is it binding or can she change her mind?

Steve at 03.06.2019 5:18:09

3605

HI IVE BEEN SEPARATED FOR 9 YRS AND HAVE A NEW PARTENER AND NEED TO MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE BUT NOT SURE WHAT I SHOULD DO TO GO ABOUT GETTING A DIVORCE I AM 62YRS OLD AND NEED TO GET THIS SORTED.

STUART DUHEAUME at 29.05.2019 8:03:34

3485

I am living and working in England from 12/12/12 and I am from Spain, How can I divorce my wife taking in consideration last time we were together was 2009/2010 in Iraq and I don't know her address in Iraq?

Jose Luis Gutierrez at 19.05.2019 18:48:22

3284

Hi it’s on behalf of my fiancé. He is married and going through divorce process with his ex wife. They were married for just under 3 years and have a 2 year old son. The divorce proceedings started February 2018 with the ex wife as petitioner. Decree nisi was granted 30th November but now his ex has put a stay in the absolute until finances are sorted. There are no assests or marital property to split just child maintenance which m fiance has always paid. We have booked our wedding for April 2020 and I'm very worried this won't be sorted before then. My fiance has asked to do a consent order to put down child maintenance and she is stalling evetythibg. We have a 4 month old son together. Is there a way he can speed this process up. Regards Kelly

Kelly at 13.05.2019 17:49:50

4077

My story. My and Husband and I have been together for 6 and a half years. We have never had many problems in our relationship. Last year on July 7th 2018 we got married. Life’s tough we have a lot of debt for the wedding so we don’t have a lot of money but we survive. I think my husband started to feel a bit down, no money, same routine I have a busy job so I was constantly working/stressed. Two weeks ago I noticed he was off I spoke to him and he told me he doesn’t know if he can do “this” or us anymore. Over the next week I was heartbroken and it was torture we can good/great moments and awful moments. There another girl involved an ex. He met up with her and in doing so felt so guilty that all this has to come up. He feels he can’t give her up and this is a big issue in his mind. A couple days ago he decided to go stay at his mums house for space. It was hard I took some pain relief tablets (to many) to try and cope. On Monday I invited him round for game of thrones and we sat and talked and acted normal. The next day I asked him around again this when I got angry I started asking him questions again. He just kept saying that he didn’t have any answers. And was getting frustrated that I was asking them. In the end I said I’m his wife there shouldn’t be another option I should be the only option. I told him that it feels like he forcing me in to a decision because he’s to scared to make one. He left. The next morning I had a rough night I needed to go to a&e. I rang him to take me. He come but we didn’t go he bought me back to the house we talked. I asked him he knew anything just say it. He said he loved her more. Ok that’s it we split I text my close family and friends. One of my friends took me to a&e all fine. Was out of the house most of the day feeling strong. I got inside the house and broken down uncontrollable sobbing in the end I just sat in the shower and let the water hit me. I got better and had good night. I took my dogs out. On the dog walk one of the pups picked up a chicken bone I had to get jt our of his mouth which left me with a bad cut. I’m not good with this stuff I almost called him. I didn’t I wrapped it up and managed to get home. It was a bad cut I should probably gone to a&e but couldn’t face it. I ended up calling him as I gave him the medicine box to take ways so No tablets in house had all plasters. He come straight over and sorted it out. Whilst hear he grabbed some clothes. I was feeling very um ‘horny’ so I told him what I wanted to do it. It was a quick and he said this is a bad idea and not going to help. He got up I asked if he meant what he said yesteday about loving her more he said no and left. Yesteday. Woke up with a wierd feeling did I do something wrong I don’t know. I message him in the hope he would come he refused saying he is with his mum. I blocked him on eveything. I went out with friends but I could cope eveything was exploding in my head. I spoke to his mum who had to spoke to him and she said that he still has no answer and he needs space and that I need to give him that space as it hasn’t gone well so far. I spoke to his best friend and he’s telling me to move on. I speak to a random person and they say give him the space he needs. I don’t know how to process any of this, I don’t know how to function I don’t even know what I want anymore.

Rebecca at 03.05.2019 7:29:33

4362

Hi, My and my husband of 17 years separated a year ago. We have one child who is doing her masters, living at uni. Our marriage broke down 2 years ago after he lost his jo. He lied about being fired for months and was failing to pay mortgage. I moved out to a seperate flat and he moved in with his mother whilst we rented the house out. We had family friends who we had in to pay the mortgage privately. They fell behind a lot of rent payments so I evicted them, and made the decision to move back in solely rather than paying two seperate lots of bills. (For flat & house) they still owe me over £1000 in bills and I have been completely blocked out. Due to mortgage being in arrears our mortgage lenders would not let us rent the house out. So this isn’t an option for me, which may be for the best due to previous experience. Ex husband has not paid a single penny towards the mortgage, joint account loans, credit card, anything since separating nearly two years ago. He enjoys burying his head in the sand and always has. His way of thinking is that he paid mortgage/bills for years so he is entitled to the same (which I know is true - not an issue) My mother has helped us a lot with mortgage arrears, debts & bills. She paid the arrears of mortgage off. Even paying £10,000 of ex husband credit cards when we lost job. He still owes her all this. Mortgage is £800per month which I am paying as much as I can off but struggling to make full payments by myself. I am holding onto my home with dear life and I just want something of mine for my daughters inheritance. I have offered to pay him out. Even offering to sign the house over to my daughter if anything happens to me. But I don’t think he wants me living in the house we both built for years and would rather see it repossessed. The house is up for sale and has been for two years. I would also struggle to get another mortgage if this one sells as my credit rating has taken a hit from the last two years as a consequence of me paying EVERYTHING myself. He does not respond to any of my text messages or calls. I have had numerous debt collectors at my door. After months of ignorance I hunted him down at his gf property. We spoke CIVILY and He agreed to think about outcome but has never got back to me (GR!!!!) I’ve spoken to mortgage lenders and they won’t let me reduce my mortgage due to continuous arrears. I have now been served court order for repossession (great) What can I do to save my home when the other owner is not co-operating? Should I give up? I don’t know who to contact or what to do. I’ve been to solicitor and filed for divorce months ago. I’m STILL waiting for him to provide information about his pension for assets evaluation? I feel physically sick every day, doctors are telling me i'm stressed and offering anti-depressant which I cannot risk taking with my job. Long shot but if anyone is in the same situation please shed some light as I'm desperate for help.

Roobee1967 at 10.04.2019 16:34:28

3910

were can i get such a form as my husband of 10 years has committed adultery and i want a divorce, but as he is not down on the mortgage. he has said he would leave with nothing, so i want him to sign some thing to that respect. even though he has already left and moved in a place with her.

sue smith at 28.03.2019 19:43:33

3313

Hi, My X and I have amicably agreed between us the details of the financial settlement . Briefly it reflects the cohabitation agreement which was signed before we got married and an agreement that he can return to the property to use all the outdoor buildings (he does carpentry in his spare time) and that I will add a codicil to my will leaving him 10% of the value of my estate. However my solicitor does not want to include these details when sending in all the financial documents to the court. I can’t understand the reason to exclude anything . My ex and I are both concerned that the judge may look at the details of financial agreement and think on the face of it that it is very unfair ( I get to keep all the house and ex has no claim on it – I am paralysed and the house was bought out of my compensation settlement &adapted to suit my needs ).

Becky at 23.03.2019 19:17:18

3758

Me and my wife have been married for almost 6 years but we separated last year in June due to constant arguments and basically fallen out of love with each other. We're both now seeing other people and I believe it's now the right time to file for a diverse. Firstly where/how do I start this process? And do I need to pay out £550 to the government? Are there cheaper ways to do this especially since we both want this and have no ties (Kids, mortgage)

Nick Styants at 18.03.2019 16:11:02

3839

Hi I was married for two years and then we separated and this has been the case for over a year and a half we have a 20 month old baby together who I pay child maintnece for. Today I received a notification from the court with the lump sum order box ticked which my wife has applied for what does this mean? What can she claim? I own my own house and have done for the past 12 years will she have claim to this? Thanks in advance

Sunny at 16.03.2019 15:30:33

3603

My ex and myself have been married since 2013. He is an alcoholic and is currently on probation for drink driving. He has to remain in our property for the year duration of his probation - according to the court. I don't want to live like this. I pay for everything in the property as he doesn't work. Why should he be allowed to live there for free?

Anna-Marie at 16.03.2019 11:59:14

3605

does the consent order cover pension transfers ?

Jo at 07.03.2019 17:34:17

3618

My ex and I were together for 6 years and have two children. We got married in 2015 and soon after I found out he'd stolen money from my bank account over a period of 4 months totalling £1000. Due to planning our wedding, I lost track of my personal finances and didn't find out til after the wedding. I was understandably cross! His mum advised him to pay all his wage in to my account so I could manage his money. The house was mine before we got together. The car was in my name and I paid for it. The bills etc were all in my name. The credit card, loan and overdraft used to pay for the wedding was in my name. He paid £250 a month to me initially when he moved in. I paid for all of the household bills. After he got promoted, he then paid £800 a month to me. During this time I had taken a pay cut so I could raise our daughters in a part time job. After I had found out about the stolen money, it was paid back. We both agreed to make it work but he refused to go to marriage counselling with me. Due to previous issues in our relationship., I had no trust in him, and I would be very argumentative with him (through frustration). I'm paying for divorce as he's refusing to. He says he's struggling financially. He's wanting money off of me, as he believes he has rights. He says if I could agree to give him money, he won't petition the divorce stating I've been adulterous (as I had begun a new relatioship soon after the separation). I am still paying off the wedding and still have another year to go. I explained that I just want a divorce. I don't want anything from him with regards to money, except child maintenance (which he pays already), even though I am still paying off the wedding and he was the one who walked out. Does he have any rights? Should I give him money? My dad has advised I get him done for fraus, for stealing. Obviously I don't want that though. What are your thoughts, please?

Christine at 05.03.2019 18:29:14

3538

My partner and I have agreed to divorce after a marriage of just over 4 years. We have reached an amicable agreement on division of assets that we both are happy with. My partner has a business that he is unwilling to disclose details of, but is happy for 100% proceeds of the sale of our house to go to me. We have separate bank accounts and any assets in them will stay with the account holder. Outstanding finance on my car will be my responsibility. We have no dependents and crave a straightforward and swift conclusion. We both find this agreement acceptable and wish to formalise it before proceeding. What is our best course of action?

Milly at 27.02.2019 10:31:32

4155

Hi, My and my husband of 17 years separated a year ago. We have one child who has moved out with boyfriend. He lost his job before separation so has had money issues needless to say. He lied about being fired for months and was failing to pay mortgage. I moved out to a seperate flat and he moved in with his mother whilst we rented the house out. The occupants then fell behind a lot of rent payments so I evicted them, and made the decision to move back in solely rather than paying two seperate lots of bills. (For flat & house) He has not paid a single penny towards the mortgage, joint account loans, anything since separating nearly two years ago. My mother has helped me a lot with mortgage arrears, bills, tv license etc but I can’t seem to keep up with it any longer & I feel as though I am carrying the world on my shoulders while he’s enjoying his life with his new girlfriend. He does not respond to any of my text messages or calls. I have had numerous debt collectors at my door. He agreed to mediation over text, a couple of weeks ago but since has not replied to my messages since. Due to money stress I am holding onto my home with dear life and I just want something of mine for my daughters inheritance. I would also struggle to get another mortgage if the one sells as my credit rating has taken a cut from the last two years. What can I do? Is there any way to cut myself off from my ex husband when he is not co-operating with me?

Miss B at 25.02.2019 18:07:46

3751

Just wanted to know how to file for 2 year separation under same roof for financial reasons and two children to look after...costs and paperwork involved please?

S HILL at 16.02.2019 19:14:02

3663

I am now divorced. However currently arguing with ex over settlement. We have 5 houses (Rentals). Earn about the same (Net). Have 1 child (9) who lives with her. My pension is 175k hers is 30k. I work full time she works part time but earns similar money. Family home is rented. She wants 4 out of 5 houses. Half my pension and spousal maintenance. I offered 3 houses. Giving her £1300 a month after mortgages are paid. 65k equity and 15k cash. I get 2 houses, half pension and 75k equity. I pay £400 a month for child to her. Solicitors are involved and meditation is a none starter. What is she likely to get. And is my offer more than fair from the vast experience out there.....

Mike at 13.02.2019 0:59:22

3642

we have been separated for 4 years and have already dealt with the finances. We share custody of our son and he spends half the week with me and the other with Dad and this works well. Will the divorce be quite simple. My Ex is a very difficult man and I am worried he is going to make things difficult even though he is asking me to sort the divorce as I left him

Nicola Bennett at 22.01.2019 15:09:40

3459

I have artwork which I did prior to my marriage, should this form part of the financial disclosure as my husband is valuing it at a considerable amount which I know it isn't worth.

Eve at 21.01.2019 9:50:24

3733

My STBX is refusing to disclose the pension value. It’s a 17 year teachers pension. Current salary £30k per year. Does anyone have a rough estimation on its worth?

Marie at 17.01.2019 17:52:10

3796

My husband had an affair last year and moved out after 18 years of marriage. We have three children, all dependant. We have managed to sort out child care arrangements and he currently pays me maintenance. He also still pays his share of the mortgage. However, he is now saying his struggling to make all the monthly payments. We both want to sort out the finances amicably, however I do truly feel that it should not be a 50-50 split. I am the main carer for the children and it has been me throughout the whole marriage that has saved trying to plan for the future. He has taken all my dreams away. We both have good salaries currently. 1. What could be the solution with the house? 2. What split should I go for? Really appreciate your help.

Lyndsay at 16.01.2019 21:55:36

3830

My wife and I are separating. All amicable at the moment. We own our house outright. Have agreed 50/50 split all assets. I have been the main earner for 40 years. My wife only working a few years. Children been gone 8 years. I intend to continue to support her, but what percentage. She is capable of working. Do I adjust payments because im working and she could, but isnt ? She will be able to buy a home outright for about 500k. Do I have to support above ensuring she has basic living support. Thanks

Patrick at 14.01.2019 1:04:33

4380

My husband was successful in having a restraining order taken out against me following a serious argument. I cannot contact him about anything directly or indirectly with the exception of arranging child contact and progressing the divorce through solicitors. I can't afford to challenge the decision in the magistrate's court at the moment. The impact of the order is really disproportionate and making the divorce costs really expensive for me. I am no risk to my husband. I was made temporarily homeless by the court decision as I am not allowed within 100 metres of the property. The children have stayed with him which was always his intention. Any thoughts on how I can help my husband see that it would be in both our interests for him to apply to the court to amend or cancel the order?

Lydia at 20.12.2018 16:42:51

3491

We are already separated and have split the house and agreed personal terms with a solicitors letter agreement that both parties were happy with. I paid my wife exactly what she wanted and she signed the house over to me and removed her name off everything. We agreed that she would divorce me once this was all done,although I don't agree with what she had put in the divorce papers I did see a ticked box to apply for a financial order and I don't understand what this means ?. I don't want to sign the papers without understand this first if I means she can try to claim more money or other things after we had already agreed on the split of the house and other assets. Could you please explain what this means. Many thanks

Adrian cutler at 16.12.2018 22:31:55

4125

My wife has decided to call time on our marriage. She's studying at the moment so can't afford to move out. Long term, she says she's happy for me to keep the house and have the kids most of the time. She says she will forego her share of the equity in the house in exchange for me letting her live rent free for a year until she gets herself sorted. Whilst I want the separation sorted faster, I agreed this in order to keep the kids in the family home to minimise the disruption for them. The thing is, she's refusing to confirm the agreement in writing and I suspect that after living off me for a year, she'll just go after half the house in any event. So I'm wondering if I can either just move out or kick her out. If I go, is there anything I can do to remove liability to pay the mortgage? Or can I get an order to get her out? Surely there is some way to live separately without waiting for a divorce?

Kris at 13.12.2018 21:04:00

4057

After petitioner filing the petition for divorce for unreasonable behaviour, In the acknowledgement of service form how many options defendant get. Do they have an option of not consenting but not defending?

B Siddiqui at 13.12.2018 16:29:42

3736

My husband and I are currently going through a divorce where I am representing myself. Our absolute could have been applied for from the 22nd November but he has not done this yet. We were married for 4 years with two biological children (one severly disabled) and three children from a previous relationship of mine. We bought a home in 2015 in his sole name. We are now negotiating a consent order. He remortgaged the home before we divorced and sat on the money. He now wants me to agree to 58% house. Obviously the equity is very small after only purchasing 3 years ago and him remortgaging. He has a hefty pension, wage and a fair amount of savings. I agreed to 58% of the home but would also like 50% of what he recieved when he remortgaged it. Am i being unreasonable?

Sheni at 10.12.2018 12:56:09

3817

I’m 8 months into a divorce turned nasty, and my wife has stolen my laptop. She lives in my £2mil house while I stay with my supportive sister just 3 miles away. Divorce was initiated by her because she started a phone affair with a man in a different country and has treated me like dirt since - says she wants 80% and me 20% of finances worth around 2.5, which won’t happen of course but just as a bit of background. I left my laptop accidentally one evening after spending time there with the kids, and went back the following day but the laptop was gone. This was 3 weeks ago now. I’ve asked repeatedly if she knows where it is, but the answer is always no. I know she has taken it and in exasperation last Friday I used a Bluetooth scanner which showed it clearly being in the boot of her car, I checked again next day again and still in her car I confronted her with this information, and she went mad. She told me I’d stolen all manner of things from her, including random jewellery, private mail, and even all the way too one of her slippers! None of that is true and it seems she is trying to fabricate evidence against me I guess for her financial case in court. She’s started now making other accusations like I’ve been hitting our children, feeding them poorly and buying them sub standard clothing, and the list goes on. She once called the police late at night and said I was hiding in the shed and was going to break in to attack her and children. I only know this because she told the children before calling 999. She’s a bully and a pathological liar. So. How can I get my laptop back from her? My solicitor basically said she won’t ever, and I’ve practically begged the ex and told her how I just need some documents from the disk and she can have it, I don’t care. I’m a writer and illustrator and there’s 5 weeks of hard work on the laptop that is irreplaceable. She’s impossible to communicate with, and well knows the anguish it’s caused me. I just do not know anymore how to get at least my work back.

Bryan at 10.12.2018 5:22:51

3775

I left my ex back in April and I am now with someone else. He was adamant that he was going to file for the divorce otherwise he was going to protest it if I did. Finally in October he filed for the divorce after I paid for half back in July and I received the petition at the end of November and signed and posted it the same day. My ex found out that I am now with someone else and has started texting me saying he’s not going to let us win and I shouldn’t think this over yet. At this point he can’t stop the divorce proceedings right? What happens now that I’ve signed the petition? Does he need to be the one to apply for the decree Nisi and what if he doesn’t? I deliberately moved far away from him and now I feel like he’s still here controlling my life

Goldielocks at 05.12.2018 21:33:02

3570

Could anybody possibly explain this in very clear and simple English? Can anybody please explain the following in simple language? Pursuant to ....Notes....all matters in sub-paragraphs 2 and 3 being satisfied Application granted for Decree Absolute out of time.

Natalie at 04.12.2018 0:48:54

3633

I recently recieved a divorce petition from my ex partner, Since we have split she has now gone ahead with a sex change to become a he, As i did not consent to marrying a man nor was i given the choice to voice my concerns, is there anyway to avoid the divorce and procedd with a annullment instead as she/he is trying to get me to pay for the divorce when they were the one to end the relationship and procedd with the current course of events.

Marcus at 03.12.2018 13:56:00

3704

Good afternoon, If a decision has been made to separate for a period of time rather than divorce is there a form that requires completion to acknowledge the start date of the separation in order for the marriage to be dissolved if the separation runs to the legally required timeline? Is this 2 years? Thank you, kind regards , Sandra timeline i.e. is this 2 years.

Sandra at 28.11.2018 15:46:36

3783

Married 13 years, together 18 years. Have been advised by a solicitor 70:30 split of assets could be seen as fair due as I have been a stay at home mum since kids born (12 years). We have a savings pot which was allocated to pay children’s ongoing education. I would like that to go into educational trust so it continues to be used for the purpose intended. With that plus my families money we could complete the kids education to gcse. Husband wants to split it as he says he needs £ for house. He would have £149k to my £340k based on house sale. Additionally lives in West Country where housing far less expensive than where I am. Please advise. He earns £120k. I have always been stay at home mum but due to return to work full time in January on £40k

AJ at 23.11.2018 5:41:12

3905

Hi all Wondered if any of you could give me some advice with the hope someone out there has been in my shoes... Long story short...purchased my house in Nov 2013 had a large deposit due to sale of previous property. Met my ex husband Dec 2013. I moved into my new home in Feb 2014 he stayed back and forth between my house and his mums (where he was living when I met him) moved in gradually by around Dec 2014. Married Aug 2015..marriage lasted ten months, he left my home in June 2016. He paid nothing during the first year. Second year he’d give me between £50-£80 per week if I was lucky. He started threatening me for money when he left using all kinds of ways to blackmail me. I went through all my bank statements for the two years I was with him, breaking down the bills, living costs, mortgage etc and outlined, that actually he owes me £17k in expenses wedding costs, and lastly, three months before he left I loaned him £8k to pay off his huge debts (interestingly which he accumulated trying to sue another company for money, but failed). After writing this email from him, he went quiet apart from a few threats and blackmail attempts. It’s now been two and a half years and out of nowhere, he’s hired a solicitor who wants three years of my bank statements, my business accounts and three valuations on my house!! I paid for everything in my house. Every mortgage payment paid by me. Every tradesman, pot of paint, furniture etc paid by me. I can prove everything I’m saying in the way of bank statements etc. So my question is, is he entitled to anything of mine given the length of the marriage? Oh by the way this guy is a qualified engineer and is very capable of earning his own money.

Jessica at 18.11.2018 16:46:39

4025

We are separating and have a joint mortgage which has paid down 250k equity. I earned a little more so made 65% of cointributions vs. 35% of spouses contributions (via our joint account), and purchased majority of possessions. I am keen to agree a fair settlement and would appreciate some guidance

Chris at 12.11.2018 12:00:38

3768

I am going through a complicated divorce, well.. quite amicable as husband don't want trouble but under the category of "unreasonable behaviour". A Lawyer I met recently told me: do not mention children or money on a divorce if you don't what to get in trouble. She explained to me regarding the kids, but it wasn't clear why I should not mention anything regarding money. In my case, husband has been having an affair while transferring almost half of his salary to a woman abroad for a year. This made the family budget very tight, and I was blamed for spending too much on food, and made to cut down on family projects and trips to the detriment of the family’s quality of life. When letters from the bank were received warning about unexpected big bank transfers, my husband was led to believe they were sent it in error. The lawyer suggest me not to mention all the money he sent. I want to know why! is he going to get in trouble? I am still a full time mum at home as we have very small children. Many thanks.

Alice at 05.11.2018 23:40:06

4071

Hi I’m due to marry someone who owes the equity (in divorce agreement) to his ex. My question is has anyone been through this before as this has been dragging on for five years now with no effort from his ex to save any deposit to buy the house off him (which was just in his name) also each month she (who has since remarried) is gaining equity in that property as its on a repayment mortgage. I’m having a real issue in communicating my concerns to him as he has kids (and more complications) wrapped up in this but I’m seriously concerned for my future especially as I own my own property. As far as I’m aware they had a clean break divorce but it still doesn’t seem fair that their divorce was based on an agreed sum at the time which is now 5 years out of date and still where she’s gaining equity in a property. Thanks in advance for your comments

Gina at 29.10.2018 23:29:45

3872

My husband and I have agreed to divorce and will be aiming to sell he family house, which will be split 50/50. We both work fulltime and earn similar salaries. In the short term I could afford to rent a small house in order to make things easier than having to live together while we sort out the divorce and selling the main house. Is there a risk that if we ended up in a dispute (which we are trying to avoid), it would be deemed that I can afford to rent a separate house so he should stay in the main house with the children? Or can we put an agreement in place that I will do this for a limited time but that it shouldn't affect our long-term financial resolution? Thanks.

Anon at 29.10.2018 14:58:11

3976

How long does it take to get divorced? I was told we could get it done in 12 weeks – is that true?

Anna at 05.10.2017 8:03:39

3664

How much do the court fees cost to get divorced?

Kerry H at 05.10.2017 8:03:36

4161

How do I get divorced? I’ve been separated from my partner for six years and our children are all grown up. How do I get legally divorced?

unknown at 05.10.2017 8:03:32

3517

I want to divorce my wife for adultery but was told that isn’t possible if I found out more than six months ago – is this true?

Craig at 05.10.2017 8:03:29

4483

We’ve lost our marriage certificate and need a new one asap, how can I get a new one quickly?

David K at 05.10.2017 8:03:24

4132

Where do I need to change it so it’s all done? I know the bank etc but need a full list of where I need to change it.

Sasha at 05.10.2017 8:03:21

3641

What are ‘grounds for divorce’? A friend told me I need to have this before I get started on the paperwork – we’ve not been living together for a few years now so what should I be saying?

Helena at 05.10.2017 8:03:19

4097

I’ve paid my £550 court fees already but have read that you need to pay more when you’re doing a consent order – is that right?

bristol44 at 05.10.2017 8:03:10

4806

How do I convince my ex that we need to get a divorce? It’s definitely over between us – how do I convince him?

Rachel M at 05.10.2017 8:03:07

3879

Ok so my husband and I are getting divorced. I’m hoping it won’t be messy but no doubt will get that way.what is the first steps to starting the process as I have absolutely no idea. At the moment we have barely even discussed living arrangements but would like to try and continue living together for the children as we aren’t arguing we just have unreconcevievable differences. What do I do please?

jo123456 at 05.04.2018 8:02:54

3946

Want to keep the cost as low as poss – what’s the best way to go about it?

Damien2018 at 05.05.2018 8:02:49

3968

How long does it take to get divorced from start to finish? We have kids and a family home but are on good terms in general so want to get it done as quickly as possible.

Damien2018 at 05.04.2018 8:02:46

3803

I want a divorce, I need the court to dispense with service in divorce. It’s a bit complex for me anyway. I was married abroad the marriage is legal due to EEA 6 month family permit. So I have to go trough Uk court for divorce. My partner had made false allegation against me the case has dropped no evidence plus she took her false allegation back in hope of coming back in my life. Due to the false allegation I want to divorce based on unacceptable behaviour. I didn’t had any communication from her for months, I had no idea where she was, she just tried contacting me via phone. As for her address it is unknow to me, the solicitor I consulted used and tracing agent but we still could not find any info at all. Obviously I had tried contacting relative of her no answer, I’m not acquainted with any address for the relatives either. Now my question is are the ground for divorce satisfactory for the court? When I communicated she made it clear that she don’t want the divorce, I think she just used me to get in UK. However I am just looking for guidelines, how to prove to court that I made all took all the necessary steps to find her, keeping in mind the history of our marriage breakdown just after 1year and 1 month of marriage and 9 months of living together.

fair at 05.07.2018 8:02:28

4062

Is it possible to get legal separation from spouse residing outside the UK. I know the country he is currently residing in but don’t have an address.

swiftpraise at 05.07.2018 8:02:25

3760

Hi, thank you for creating the forum and advice notes. Can I ask you something, please. My wife and I have been married for 10 years but things fell apart at Xmas and they don’t look to be resolving themselves. If I remortgage to pay my debts which I have built up with her how do I stand further down the line? Say for example I have £50,000 in equity but £20,000 in debt can I remortgage before proceeding further into divorce proceedings and then I have less to split with her? Basically I don’t want to have to give her 50% of the equity and then still be left with the debt? I can’t afford to manage my debt and start renting or buying a new place. She is not on the deeds or the mortgage but we do have 2 boys and my intention is not to sell the house as I want the boys to be stable. She has only paid for the gas and electric for the last 2 years and the first 10 years of our marrige she didn’t work. Sorry it started as a simple question but clearly not as short as I expected

scottonjackd at 05.07.2018 8:02:19

4239

My wife is a foreign woman whom I have been dating with for three years before we decided to get married. We have been trying our best to produce a child after our marriage. After one year of trying, we failed. I told my wife we should have a check up to finally know if one of us is infertile. However, she seemed unfavorable with my idea. Now, she’s thinking of divorce as the only solution and I’m freaking out. She said that if one of us is really infertile, then there’s no sense of being tied up, which in fact I don’t understand. I mean, we should try to work this out, right? It’s for better or for worse. What should I do now?

dougx80 at 05.08.2018 8:02:16

4400

Myself and husband split last October, he wants to wait two years and I want it sorting straight away, can I file for irreconcilable differences?

Amy123 at 05.08.2018 8:02:05

4247