Advice forum

It’s only the 2nd of Jan and I already feel like I need a plan for “me” this year. Since separating I’ve mostly just been keeping my head above water for the kids and handling all the admin. Now that the holidays are over I’m realising I don’t even know who I am outside of being a parent and (soon-to-be-ex)wife. I want to start doing things just for me - rebuilding hobbies, routines, even a sense of confidence - but it feels impossible to know where to start without feeling guilty about taking time for myself. Has anyone done this? How do you start a year where you want to focus on yourself without feeling selfish or overwhelmed by everything else still going on?

LittleLeaf at 02.01.2026 13:40:20

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I’m a bit further along in the process now and starting to think about whether to change my name back. Part of me wants to just be done with it, but another part is dreading the admin. How much actually needs changing in real life? Banks, passport, work, kids’ school, everything? And did anyone regret changing it back or not changing it back? It feels like a small thing compared to everything else, but I’m finding it oddly emotional and I don’t want to make it harder than it needs to be. Would really appreciate hearing how others handled it.

Mags at 19.12.2025 9:37:02

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Sometimes a small thing, like a great podcast episode, a book that hits home, or even a helpful app, can make a big difference when you’re going through a breakup or divorce. Let’s build a list of resources together. What was helpful to you?

Jade from amicable at 16.12.2025 17:51:57

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There’s something powerful about starting a new chapter after separation. For some people it’s moving to a new home, for others it’s rediscovering who they are or setting new goals. What does a “fresh start” mean for you right now? Let’s inspire each other.

Jade from amicable at 05.12.2025 17:52:16

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I’m a few months on since the divorce was final and honestly, it all feels a bit strange. Some days I’m alright, other days I just feel… flat, I guess. How do people get used to all the little things? Cooking for one, sorting all the admin on your own, just getting through the day when it all feels weird and empty. Did you find some things hit harder than you expected? And how do you cope with the in-between stage, where you’re not the same person you were before, but not really sure who you are now? Any tips for getting through day to day without feeling completely wiped out? Would love to hear what actually helped people, not just the usual “it gets better.”

Filo at 02.12.2025 0:01:03

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I’ve recently moved into my own place after separating and I didn’t expect the quiet to feel so loud. I thought I’d enjoy the space and having things my way, but it’s been harder than I imagined. Evenings feel especially strange. I used to have someone to chat to about the day or make small decisions with, and now I catch myself not knowing what to do with myself. Friends have been supportive, but once the door closes it hits me that it’s just me here. If anyone else has been through this stage, how did you start feeling more settled? Did anything help you get used to living alone without it feeling so heavy? Would really appreciate hearing how others adjusted.

Larker at 24.11.2025 0:01:03

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Hi everyone, I’m recently divorced and trying to figure out if and when I should start dating again. Part of me feels ready to meet new people, but another part worries about getting back into it too soon or making mistakes. Has anyone gone through this? How did you know you were ready, and did you have any rules or advice for easing back into dating after a divorce? Thanks in advance - would love to hear your experiences.

Danni at 18.11.2025 10:42:28

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After a split, does it really matter how you go about rebuilding your life? What do people usually focus on first to start getting back on track and maybe feel a bit more positive again?

Cloverbee at 16.11.2025 16:01:03

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have you ever thought about what life looks like after a divorce? do people find it tough to move on or do they see it as a fresh start? curious how folks really deal with the big changes divorce brings.

junebug at 11.11.2025 0:01:03

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Hello, looking for some advice on when is the correct time for children to meet my new partner. For context, me and my wife have been separated for 2 years and divorced officially for 8 months. We have children (8 & 12) who stay with my ex majority of the time (I have the kids every other weekend). To the best of my knowledge, my ex isn't dating anyone seriously, but I have recently met someone who is great. They are interested to meet my children but I don't know when the right time is? I don't want to upset my children when they have already transitioned from the family home but I guess at some point they will have to meet. What is the normal timeframe for these types of situations? Has anyone had their children meet their new partner and it was successful?

SSJ at 31.10.2025 14:56:00

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I've been going through a divorce for a long time and it's recently been finalised, which is a huge relief!! Now it's time for the next stage of my life, what are the best ways for a newly single women to rebuild life after divorce? Any advice is welcome :)

Dolly at 29.10.2025 14:36:50

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I'm considering getting a divorce, but I'm not 100%. I don't think either of us are particularly happy in our marriage, but how do I know if we will be happier apart? Is it tough to re-build your life after?

DayDreamer at 21.10.2025 8:01:01

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How do people generally adjust to life after divorce, and what are some common challenges or opportunities they might face when starting fresh

KN2223 at 26.09.2025 11:02:57

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My ex and I coparent 50/50 week on week off. We are amicable and have comfortably shared family occasions together since our divorce. I have a new partner and she is very uncomfortable with the circumstances. She doesn’t understand that I am prioritising my children anytime we do anything together. I have no interest in getting back together with my ex. My new partner thinks our dynamic is inappropriate and also disrespectful to her. Is she being reasonable?

Glen at 06.02.2025 12:48:09

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My wife is in the process of filing for divorce from me. We have been together for 15 years and have three kids together. I have little friends outside of our core married friends and have no idea how to live life without her and without my kids. I am looking to chat or meet with someone who has been there already.

Frank at 28.02.2023 18:19:45

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Where does a man move to during separation and then divorce? I earn a modest salary and pay a mortgage on the family home (12 years married with 3 children). My wife is a stay at home mum. Toxic relationship, everyone anxious, adversely affecting us all including the children and their behaviour. I need to leave. But I want to make sure I know what I\’m doing before I take this step. I have the option of moving into parents house but would rather not of course. It\’s not exactly conducive to me getting on with my life and eventually forming a new, loving relationship to show as a positive example to my children. The last thing I want to do is sell the house – I believe the children should stay with their mum in the family home. And I don\’t expect a court would rule that anyway. However there\’s no way I can afford to rent a place and continue to pay the mortgage as well. So am I just stuck here in a really uncomfortable situation as I suspect thousands of others are? Any suggestions gratefully received.

Pascal at 05.08.2018 8:02:07

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I am a female Muslim and divorced with mutual consent when my son was 2 year old. Reason being, we never had sound relation which broke when he was not supportive and not ready to handle child responsibilities. Now he is 5 and I would like to share him the reason for divorce. I know he is very small to understand but i want to satisfy his curiosity, slowly and gradually that why his dad is not staying with him. He is in Sr. KG and many times asked to explain my family. I understand that he has to face such situations when he grows up and mingles with school mates. Therefore, I would like to ask in what way and what I should explain to my child so there is no issues related to his mental health and he remains happy. Also I would not like to say negative things about his dad. Please guide. Thanks a lot.

maazre at 05.07.2018 8:02:07

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