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Hi,
My and my husband of 17 years separated a year ago. We have one child who is doing her masters, living at uni.
Our marriage broke down 2 years ago after he lost his jo. He lied about being fired for months and was failing to pay mortgage.
I moved out to a seperate flat and he moved in with his mother whilst we rented the house out. We had family friends who we had in to pay the mortgage privately. They fell behind a lot of rent payments so I evicted them, and made the decision to move back in solely rather than paying two seperate lots of bills. (For flat & house) they still owe me over £1000 in bills and I have been completely blocked out.
Due to mortgage being in arrears our mortgage lenders would not let us rent the house out. So this isn’t an option for me, which may be for the best due to previous experience.
Ex husband has not paid a single penny towards the mortgage, joint account loans, credit card, anything since separating nearly two years ago. He enjoys burying his head in the sand and always has. His way of thinking is that he paid mortgage/bills for years so he is entitled to the same (which I know is true - not an issue)
My mother has helped us a lot with mortgage arrears, debts & bills. She paid the arrears of mortgage off. Even paying £10,000 of ex husband credit cards when we lost job. He still owes her all this.
Mortgage is £800per month which I am paying as much as I can off but struggling to make full payments by myself.
I am holding onto my home with dear life and I just want something of mine for my daughters inheritance.
I have offered to pay him out. Even offering to sign the house over to my daughter if anything happens to me. But I don’t think he wants me living in the house we both built for years and would rather see it repossessed. The house is up for sale and has been for two years. I would also struggle to get another mortgage if this one sells as my credit rating has taken a hit from the last two years as a consequence of me paying EVERYTHING myself.
He does not respond to any of my text messages or calls. I have had numerous debt collectors at my door. After months of ignorance I hunted him down at his gf property. We spoke CIVILY and He agreed to think about outcome but has never got back to me (GR!!!!)
I’ve spoken to mortgage lenders and they won’t let me reduce my mortgage due to continuous arrears. I have now been served court order for repossession (great)
What can I do to save my home when the other owner is not co-operating?
Should I give up?
I don’t know who to contact or what to do. I’ve been to solicitor and filed for divorce months ago. I’m STILL waiting for him to provide information about his pension for assets evaluation?
I feel physically sick every day, doctors are telling me i'm stressed and offering anti-depressant which I cannot risk taking with my job.
Long shot but if anyone is in the same situation please shed some light as I'm desperate for help.
Replies (1)
Dear Roobee1967,
First things first, you need to look after yourself. If you go down, everything else will fall apart too. Your daughter needs a healthy mum…so please go and visit your GP and get some immediate support. Your GP will be able to sign you off sick if necessary and signpost you to counselling support to help you cope with the immense pressure you are under. That absolutely has to be the first priority.
After that, you should get yourself a good lawyer. A good lawyer will be able to make the relevant court applications and put a plan together of how to untangle your complex circumstances and advise in what order things need to be tackled. When one person won't engage (your ex) you need to assess how likely they are to change. We often advise you give your partner time to adjust and come to the negotiating table. However, in your case you don’t have time, so a speedy consultation with an expert litigator is a must.
Hope that helps and good luck.
Kate