How do I even begin

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Advice forum

BlueberryJam
03.03.2026 17:41:10

3

Hi, I’ve been reading through some of the posts here which are really reassuring, but this is my first time writing. I’m at the very beginning of this process and I honestly feel stuck before I’ve even properly started.

My husband and I have been drifting for a few years. We’ve talked about counselling, “trying harder”, giving it more time etc but we just go round in circles. There's no drama but I’ve reached a point where I feel more lonely in the marriage than I think I would outside of it.

I'm just struggling right now with how to actually begin - moving thoughts and feelings to an actual conversation about separating? I go over it in my head constantly, planning what to say and trying to find the right words. I am so worries about upsetting him, about the impact on the kids and about setting something in motion that can’t be undone. But staying in limbo feels unfair to both of us.

If you were the one who initiated things, how did you do it? Was there ever a right time or did you just have to get it all out? I’d really appreciate hearing how others handled those very first steps.

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