How to deal with uneven financial contribution to marriage

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Advice forum

Lilibet67
23.08.2026 10:34:11

9

This is my first time posting - I moved out 6 months ago following our 32 year marriage. My husband has always been self employed/part time at home whilst I went up the corporate ladder and now have a high salary and good pension. He did not stay at home to raise our children as I paid for childminders and we split pick up/drop off 50:50. He has no pension as he cashed it in as it was delivering poorly.

Over the years I have funded our family life - all mortgage payments/bills/holidays/children through university - everything - I just got on with it over the years and he has contributed almost nothing. The mortgage is paid off and both names on the deeds. Unfortunately he has just had no ambition and has turned into a hermit and I've been kind of on my own in our marriage which is why I haven't had a crisis living on my own since I moved out. Writing it down now makes me feel like an idiot that I allowed this to happen.

He had an inheritance of about £200K a few years ago which he is using for pension but did use it to fund his share of a new conservatory ( at least he paid that)

If he gets half the house and half my pension I will not be able to afford a property - I'm 58 and will work till 67 but don't want to take on another big mortgage. Both our kids are adult and out of university now.

Is there a scenario where a financial split can look at contribution to the marriage? His lack of income/pension is not related to being a stay at home parent as this wasn't what he was and wasn't his motivation

Sorry for the long post. I want to move on with sorting a divorce but feel this is a huge mountain in front of me.

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