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My ex and I separated last autumn after 14 years together, married for 10. We have two kids, 9 and 12, who live with me most of the week and stay with him every other weekend and one night midweek.
The big sticking point is the house. It’s the family home, about £420k value with roughly £160k left on the mortgage. In theory we’ve agreed the kids should stay put for now, which I want too, but the reality is I can’t afford the mortgage on my own long term. I work part time around the kids and there’s no way I’d pass affordability checks to take it on solo.
My ex keeps saying we’ll “figure it out later” and that selling now would be too disruptive, but later feels very vague and I’m starting to panic a bit. He’s renting nearby and keeps reminding me that he’s paying rent and “still tied to a house he doesn’t live in”.
We haven’t done mediation yet and nothing is legally agreed. I’m worried we’re both avoiding the hard conversations and just hoping it magically resolves itself. Part of me feels guilty even raising selling the house, like I’m letting the kids down, but another part of me knows this limbo can’t go on forever.
Did anyone else try to hold onto the house for the kids and then realise it wasn’t realistic? Or manage to make it work without everything feeling so precarious? Would really appreciate hearing how others handled this stage.