"dealingwithemotions" posts

10 Tips for dating after divorce or separation

If you've recently separated from your partner, Valentine’s Day can be particularly unhelpful as the world is bombarded with romantic comedies, flowers and couples celebrating. Valentine’s Day can feel overwhelming, bringing into sharp contrast feelings of loss. If this is you, we’ve already written a blog to help you reframe how you feel about the day with our tips and advice which...

What to do when you become a stepparent

“The majority of stepparents, myself included, will tell you that they thought it would be so much easier to be a stepparent than it actually was.” We enter into the role naively thinking ‘how hard can it be?’. We love our partners and think the rest will follow. Sadly the reality is that it isn’t easy and we start doubting our ability to cope with the challenges of stepparenting. So how can you avoid the pitfalls and build a happy blended family together? Here are a few things that you should consider when you meet a new partner and one, or both of you, already have children.

How to forgive during a divorce or separation

In this blog, we explore forgiveness. What it is, the pros and cons of forgiveness and why you might choose to forgive your partner during a divorce or separation. There are lots of reasons why a couple might choose to separate. Whilst it’s common for people to simply grow apart and the separation is mutual, there are occasions where it might be caused by one person’s actions. For example, if they have cheated on their partner.

Sharing a pet after a break-up with comedian Rosie Wilby

Sharing a pet, or ‘co-petting’ as we call it amicable, is a relatively new phenomenon. However, it’s something we are passionate about helping couples to navigate. It’s not for everyone, and of course, there are some occasions when one pet owner might be better placed to have sole care after separation than the other. You can informally decide how you plan on ‘co-petting’ or what happens to your pet after the separation between yourselves. Or we have a ‘co-petting agreement service’ which helps you to document your pet arrangements post-separation or divorce. We’ve written this blog with the help and guidance of comedian, Rosie Wilby

What does a Divorce Coach do and how can they help with your divorce?

The truth is, most people don’t get divorced very often, and it’s pretty rare that you will continue living the same lifestyle when you separate. So to fore-see all the things you’ll have to sort out and navigate is tough. It is a vulnerable and worrying time. This is where a Divorce Coach comes in. This is a very important time in your life. Succeeding in an amicable separation is crucial to the emotional recovery for both parties and, of course, any children. How you set the tone now could affect your family for a long time to come.

Mother’s Day as a single parent

Mother’s Day as a single parent, or any celebration day for that matter, can feel especially tricky when you’re separating or divorcing. Our tips for Mother’s Day will smooth the way and help you celebrate. […]

amicable’s guide to children’s mental health and divorce

Divorce and separation is not only difficult for the couple, but also for their children as well. As with any loss (in this case, changes to the family unit), divorce and separation can impact children’s mental health. However, there are ways to help your children cope with this and of course, ways to spot early signs if they are not coping.

What is divorce anxiety?

Divorce anxiety is the term given to the intense feelings of worry experienced when going through a divorce. As with any anxiety, it will include negative thoughts about the future, and an unpleasant physiological response.

Guide to living together during your separation or divorce

We are now seeing more and more couples living ‘under the one roof’ during and post-separation, often because of circumstances that cannot be controlled or changed quickly, for example, inability to find alternative accommodation, financial pressure or because you want the children’s lives to be disrupted as little as possible.

Why Can’t We Agree?

Unhelpful thinking patterns – Why can’t we agree? Perhaps you and your partner have started to make decisions about the future apart now you have decided to separate. Perhaps you’re negotiating or mediating and have […]

Tips on how to get divorced if Christmas was the final straw

In this blog, we set out how to get divorced amicably if Christmas has been the straw that’s broken the camel’s back. My own divorce became a reality at Christmas, five years ago, so I […]

Does divorce affect your mental health?

Divorce and separation is an emotional journey with legal and financial consequences. Whilst the legal and financial processes are usually well considered, the emotional journey is often neglected. If you’ve been through a divorce, you’ve […]

The divorce survival guide to Valentine’s Day

Here it comes again, Valentine’s Day; the day when the whole world seems to be loved up and happy. A weather girl will propose live on air, flowers will double in price and restaurants will […]

5 Divorce negotiation tips for your divorce settlement

If you’re struggling with your divorce negotiations, we’ve provided below our top negotiation tips to help you settle your divorce yourselves. We’ve also included some things to watch out for that might mean you’re better off getting some negotiation support from one of our divorce coaches. […]

Healing from divorce and the healing curve

Divorce is commonly accepted now as one of the most traumatic experiences you may have in life. I know it certainly was for me. The first few months after my separation were incredibly challenging – I lost two stone in six weeks, stopped sleeping properly, couldn’t really eat, and spent many hours ruminating on what I could have done differently to avoid this.

Separating at Christmas

When I first started researching heartbreak for my comedy writing and performance a decade ago, I once stumbled upon a graph illustrating the times of the year when breakups, according to Facebook status updates, typically peaked. Christmas Day itself was deemed ‘too cruel’ and was a slower time for getting dumped. However [...]

Divorce party

A divorce party is something that some people choose to do to mark the end of a very difficult and emotionally draining process, and for other’s, it’s simply an opportunity to celebrate the start of their new chapter with family and friends. Whilst it’s

How 'Black Box Thinking' can help you through a separation

Everybody wants to be successful. It’s no surprise then, that business-related self-help books are...well, big business. You don’t have to look far to find a list of motivational titles that claim they’ll help you ‘reach your potential’, ‘breakthrough the glass ceiling’ and ‘shoot for the moon’.

The unexpected joys of breakups

One bright autumn morning during the ambiguously gradual unravelling of my five-year relationship, I strolled briskly from our rented house on Brixton Hill across Brockwell Park to the Lido. I was looking forward to the mindful back and forth of swimming bracing lengths.

5 mindfulness activities to help you during divorce and separation

Divorce and separation are widely accepted as being one of the most emotionally traumatic things a person can go through. At amicable, we understand that it’s the emotional journey of the divorce that can be, not only the hardest part but the most difficult element to control. So we’ve written down some simple mindfulness tools, with the support of the therapists at [Spill](https://www.spill.chat/), to help you re-centre when you’re going through a divorce or separation.

Tips to help you co-parent your teenager

Divorce is challenging for all children regardless of their age however, it can be particularly challenging for teenagers. Teenagers are already going through an enormous period of change in their lives and having two parents who are at odds with one another can exacerbate this.

How to help younger children deal with separation

My ex and I separated when our baby boy was two. In the eighteen months that have passed since the day she moved out of the family home, we have worked hard to heal and grow, both as a family and as individuals. I am happy to report that our current set-up, as co-parents who live on adjacent streets and share the responsibility and cost for our child 50/50, works well.

Four tips for coping with separation

“It’s over.” These two words, when used in the context of a relationship, can have a deep, lasting and upsetting impact on both the person receiving them, as well as the person delivering them. The end of a relationship marks the end of your journey with that other person and

How to deal with frustration as you divorce or separate

I’m sure, like me, you’ve been in a position of feeling frustrated during your divorce. Often, I see this happen when one party feels they just can’t seem to get through to their ex and make them understand their point. As a result, they feel frustrated and irritated, angry and powerless. Here are some tips on how to deal with divorce frustration as you separate.

3 Tips for the Festive Season

Christmas can be a tough time of year if you’ve recently separated. If you’ve been together for years and this is your first Christmas, it’s pretty hard to imagine how difficult it can be, especially […]

How to know when it's over and if you should leave

It’s that time of year… Christmas wasn’t the Waitrose/Morrisons advert you’d been hoping for and the strains of spending the festive break in a flagging relationship have pushed you to seriously consider your options. You are not […]

Five questions to ask yourself before you separate or divorce

Being in the right emotional place is fundamental to having an amicable divorce. Find out if you’re ready to separate with our five simple, ‘ready for change’ questions. Perhaps the idea of ever being ready […]

Divorce goals - what are they and why should you have them?

Why create goals? Focusing on the future rather than dwelling on the past leads to a more positive mindset for everyone during separation. There are lots of decisions that need to be made when you […]

A guide to parenting plans for co-parents

If you’re divorcing with kids, prioritizing their needs during your divorce will help them thrive in the future. A good way to minimise the impact on children is to create a parenting plan. A parenting […]

Are you sure it’s over? How to Brexit amicably

A lot of commentators have compared Brexit to a divorce, albeit a very complex one. We at amicable know that when you divorce, especially  if you have children, the way you approach it and the […]

Guest blogger Alexa’s thoughts on co-parenting with the worst kind of ex: The narcissist

At amicable, our mission is help separating parents divorce with minimal conflict and work together for the sake of their co-parenting relationship or sanity (or both!)… but sometimes that’s just not possible. Our guest blogger Alexa shares her thoughts […]

What to do with your weddings rings when your divorce is official

So you’ve decided to divorce, the Decree Absolute’s arrived but what do you do with your wedding rings now that your divorce is official? Sell them You might want to clear out everything to do […]

Grayson Perry’s new Channel 4 documentary and how to get involved

amicable is working with Channel4 on a ground-breaking new documentary series with Turner Prize-winning artist Grayson Perry. Grayson would like to speak to couples in the process of establishing new lives after a separation, with […]

6 questions to ask yourself before reconciling with your ex

Working out if a relationship is completely over versus going through a bad patch can be a difficult thing. Relationship breakdown is a process after-all – but not a linear one. It often involves a […]

Who keeps the cat once you're legally separated?

In the UK, almost half of all households have pets, with the pet population at around 54 million.* That’s a lot of furry friends. And with so many of us owning animals, around 50% of […]

How to rebuild your life after a divorce - helpful guide & tips

Regardless of whose decision it was to divorce, the end of a marriage can bring about a rollercoaster of unexpected feelings of shame, self-doubt, fear, and insecurity. You might worry that you’ll never be happy […]

How can style boost your confidence during divorce

Jacynth Bassett, founder of The Bias Cut shares her tips on using style to boost your confidence during or post-divorce. As a mother going through a divorce, a top priority is to be a solid […]

How to tell your friends and family you’re getting divorced

Telling friends and family you’re getting divorced for most people, is a frightening prospect. Being worried about people’s reactions is completely normal and totally understandable. Being prepared for tricky questions and negative reactions can make […]

What you should read before you send that text to your ex

The journey through a divorce or separation brings a range of emotions from shock, fear, anger relief and eventual acceptance. Combine the early emotions of anger and fear with the need to communicate and sort […]

Using unreasonable behavior as the reason for divorce? Write a statement that will allow you to remain amicable

Are you using ‘unreasonable behaviour’ as the reason to divorce? This blog will give you some information and tips that’ll help you to remain amicable with your ex. However, before we jump in, it’s worth […]