Tips for managing your mental health during a divorce

Divorce is one of life’s most stressful events, and when mental health challenges are involved, the situation can become even more complex.

Whether one or both partners are struggling with issues such as depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions, it’s important to approach the process with care and sensitivity.

Prioritising wellbeing, understanding how mental health can impact divorce, and seeking the right support can make a significant difference in how both you and your family manage the transition.

The impact of existing mental health issues on divorce

Mental health challenges can affect every aspect of a divorce, from decision-making and communication to co-parenting dynamics.

When emotions run high, it’s easy for conflicts to escalate, making an already difficult situation more challenging. Understanding the potential impacts that mental health issues can have on the divorce process can help you better identify and manage these issues.

Potential impacts mental health issues can have on divorce:

Emotional overload: Divorce can trigger or aggravate mental health conditions. Feelings of loss, guilt, fear, or loneliness are common and can intensify symptoms like anxiety or depression.

Communication barriers: mental health issues can make it difficult to communicate effectively. Whether it’s struggling to express yourself clearly or becoming overwhelmed during discussions, these barriers can slow down the divorce process and create misunderstandings.

Decision-making difficulties: Divorce requires making significant decisions, from financial matters to parenting arrangements. When mental health is compromised, the ability to think clearly, weigh options, and make balanced choices can be impaired.

Acknowledging these challenges and taking proactive steps to address them is key to navigating divorce more smoothly.

Practical steps to manage mental health during divorce

1. Take care of yourself

When your mental health is vulnerable, self-care becomes a must, not just an option. Divorce can take a toll emotionally and physically, so keeping up routines that help your wellbeing is key. Try to include activities that help you relax, like meditation, journaling, or light exercise. Even brief moments of calm can make a big difference during stressful times.

Remember, looking after your mental health isn’t selfish—it’s important for staying clear-headed and handling the challenges of divorce effectively.

2. Get professional help

A therapist or counsellor can be a vital resource if you're struggling with your mental health. They offer a safe place to talk about your feelings and can give you coping tools that fit your specific needs.

You can find local counsellors in your area via this link - local counsellors. Contacting your GP is also a good starting place. They will be able to recommend free resources or signpost you to other professionals who can help. You can explore other resources for therapy or counselling, here.

If you or your ex-partner’s mental health is making it hard to negotiate or communicate, a Co-parenting Specialist (if communication is around your children) or Divorce Specialist (if communication is just about divorce) can help facilitate constructive conversations. They can assist in maintaining focus, de-escalating conflicts, and ensuring that both of your voices are heard.

3. Communicate openly and compassionately

While communication can be strained during divorce, clear and compassionate dialogue is essential, especially when mental health is involved. It’s important to be honest with your ex about how you’re feeling while also remaining respectful of their challenges. Setting boundaries around discussions—agreeing on times to talk, limiting emotionally charged topics, or using written communication when needed—can help keep interactions manageable.

Remember that both you and your ex are likely going through a range of emotions, so approach conversations with patience.

4. Consider mindfulness practices

Mindfulness activities can be highly effective in managing stress and anxiety during divorce. Techniques such as deep breathing, grounding exercises, and mindful observation can help you stay present, even when emotions are running high. Read our blog on mindfulness activities to help you during a divorce or separation.

Mindfulness encourages a focus on the here and now, rather than getting lost in worries about the future or overthinking past events. By practising mindfulness regularly, you can create a mental space that allows you to give more considered responses and reduces emotional overwhelm.

5. Create a support network

Divorce can feel isolating, particularly when mental health is already strained. Surrounding yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or even online communities can make a big difference.

Consider taking a look at Frolo, which is a community for single parents that can offer a great support network. Or the Divorce Club, which offers a community for separated people. If you’re looking for an in-person option, but are struggling to find one in your area, consider setting one up as part of your healing journey.

Friends can be a great outlet, but remember that not everyone will be able to be there for you, or some may give unhelpful advice. Read our friends and family guide, and send it to your loved ones so they can understand how to support you in a better way.

Talking to people who understand what you’re going through can provide both emotional comfort and practical advice. Don’t be afraid to lean on your support network when things feel too much. Sometimes, simply sharing your thoughts with a trusted person can lighten the emotional load.

6. Focus on small, manageable goals

The enormity of a divorce can be overwhelming, so it’s helpful to break it down into smaller, manageable steps. Rather than trying to tackle everything at once, focus on setting daily or weekly goals, like completing paperwork, attending a therapy session, or having a calm discussion with your ex.

Achieving these small milestones can build momentum and give you a sense of accomplishment, even on tough days.

7. Be patient with yourself

Navigating divorce when mental health issues are involved requires patience—both with the process and with yourself. Healing takes time, and it’s normal to experience setbacks along the way. Give yourself permission to feel your emotions, whether that’s sadness, anger, or relief. Try not to be too hard on yourself if things don’t always go smoothly. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help when you need it, and seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Going through a divorce is rarely easy, and when one or both of you are experiencing mental health issues, it adds another layer of complexity. However, with the right strategies and support, it’s possible to manage both the practical and emotional aspects of the process in a way that prioritises wellbeing.

Remember that you don’t have to go through it alone—whether it’s friends, family, or professionals, there’s help available. You can have a free 15 minute advice call with amicable to help you seek the right guidance during this difficult time.

FAQs

How do I tell my ex that my mental health is affecting our divorce process?

It’s important to approach this conversation with honesty and clarity. You might say something like, “I’ve been struggling with my mental health recently, and I’m finding some parts of the divorce process more difficult than expected. I want to work through this together, and I may need to take things at a slower pace or get some extra support.” By framing the conversation around your needs and a desire for cooperation, you can set the tone for more understanding communication going forward.

What should I do if my ex’s mental health is causing conflict during our divorce?

If your ex’s mental health issues are leading to heightened conflict, it may be helpful to bring in a joint advice specialist. These professionals can help facilitate conversations, keep discussions focused, and ensure that both people are heard. It’s also important to establish clear boundaries and avoid engaging in conversations when emotions are running too high. Staying calm and focusing on solutions rather than problems can help to defuse tension.

Can divorce itself cause mental health issues?

Yes, divorce can trigger or worsen mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, and stress-related disorders. The sense of loss, fear of the future, and significant life changes can all contribute to emotional distress. This is why it’s crucial to prioritise mental health care during this time, whether that means seeing a therapist, practising self-care, or leaning on your support network. Addressing mental health proactively can reduce the risk of long-term impacts and help you manage the process more effectively.