My divorce story and co-parenting journey with Ella Kenion - The Divorce Podcast

In this episode, Kate was joined by Ella Kenion to talk about her experience of divorce and co-parenting.

Divorce and co-parenting can be a difficult time for families, so Ella spoke candidly about her two divorces, the first being the pinnacle of ‘amicable’ and the second being far from it. They also explore her co-parenting journey

My divorce story and co-parenting journey with Ella Kenion

You can listen to the full episode below, or on your favourite listening platform such as Spotify, Apple Podcasts or Google Podcasts.

Trigger warning: This episode mentions abusive behaviour. Some listeners may find the information and topics discussed distressing.

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What is co-parenting?

Co‑parenting is a way of raising your child together after separation or divorce, where both parents stay actively involved in their child’s life and share the responsibilities of parenting. It means working collaboratively on both big decisions like schooling or healthcare, and everyday routines like lunches or lessons. The aim is to create a stable, supportive environment for your child even though you’re no longer a romantic couple.

Co‑parenting doesn’t mean you need to be close friends or agree on everything - it’s about respect, clear communication and focusing on what’s best for your child, even if your relationship as partners has changed. At its heart, co‑parenting is about prioritising your child’s wellbeing and cooperating consistently to give them the stability and support they need.

How does cheating impact relationships?

When an affair happens, it can create a shockwave of intense emotions - grief, confusion, anger and heartbreak - because betrayal shakes the foundation of trust you once believed in.

For the person who was betrayed, it can feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you, leaving you questioning your choices, your self‑worth or even your ability to trust again. For the partner who had the affair, guilt, shame and self‑blame often surface, especially if there are children involved.

These strong feelings can make communication more difficult and decisions about your future feel overwhelming, because emotions and practical choices like finances and parenting plans get tangled up. Yet even after something as painful as betrayal, it is possible to move forward in a calm, respectful and fair way - by separating the personal hurt from the practical decisions you need to make, focusing on what’s best for your family and finding support as you build a constructive path ahead.

Tips for co-parenting

Communication is key

Keep talking about your child’s needs - from schooling to routines - honestly and calmly, even when it’s hard. Making space for clear communication builds trust and helps you both stay aligned in your parenting approach.

Create a parenting plan together

Agreeing in advance on schedules, holidays, and how you’ll handle important decisions gives your child consistency across both homes. Be open to updating the plan as your child grows and their needs change.

Put your child’s needs first

Make decisions based on what will help your child feel secure and supported, rather than on past conflicts or personal disagreements. When your child sees both parents working together for their wellbeing, it builds stability and trust.

Ella's top tips on putting your child first

• Keep your child’s wellbeing at the centre of every decision, especially when emotions are running high. Asking what will help them feel safe and settled can cut through a lot of noise.
• Reduce conflict wherever you can, particularly in front of your child. Protecting them from adult tension helps create a sense of security and calm.
• Communicate clearly and respectfully about your child, rather than letting misunderstandings build or messages escalate unnecessarily.
• Remember that co-parenting is a long-term commitment. Separation changes the relationship, but it doesn’t end the shared responsibility of raising a child together.
• Model healthy emotional behaviour, showing that difficult situations can be handled with honesty, care and maturity.
• Aim for what works, not what’s perfect. A practical, child-focused approach is often far more supportive than trying to achieve an ideal outcome.

About Ella Kenion

Ella has enjoyed a long and varied career as an actress, working successfully across both stage and screen for many years., with highlights including the BBC’s The Outlaws, Doctors, and The Detectorists, ITV’s Midsomer Murders and the feature film The Night before Christmas.

Television credits include: Beyond Paradise (BritBox), So Awkward: Kids Camp (BBC), The Outlaws (BBC), Honour (ITV), The Barking Murders (ITV), The Duchess (Netflix), Shakespeare & Hathaway (BBC), Doctors (BBC), Pure (Channel 4), Warren (BBC), Kiss of Death (Discovery), Midsomer Murders (ITV), The Detectorists (BBC), Episodes (Showtime), Swashbuckle (CBBC), New Tricks (BBC), Justin's House (CBBC), Big Bad World (Comedy Central), Law & Order UK (Kudos), Cuckoo (BBC), Heading Out (BBC), Hollyoaks (Channel 4), Doctor Who (BBC), Fun Police (Channel 4), Gates (Sky), Criminal Justice (BBC), Gayle Tuesday: The Comeback (Living TV), Holby City (BBC).

Theatre credits include: Dusty (Theatre Royal Bath), Ghosting the Party (NT Company), Emil & The Detectives (National Theatre), The School for Scandal (The Comedians Theatre Company), Shooting Star (Chester Gateway Theatre), Private Lives (Watford Palace Theatre), Gift of the Gorgon (Royal Shakespeare Company)

Film credits include The Offenders (Big Talk), The Knight Before Christmas (HP Christmas Knight Productions), and Stan & Ollie (Fable Pictures).

More divorce resources

Useful links/charities:

• Surviving Economic Abuse
• Dash
• Refuge
• Men's Advice Line

Looking for expert guidance on co-parenting?

Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert for guidance on the legal, financial or emotional aspects of separation. Or explore our Separating with Children Service – a 90-minute joint session with a Co-parenting Specialist tailored to your family’s needs.

Kate’s book amicable divorce includes dedicated chapters on co-parenting, communication and putting children first during separation. Find it on Amazon today.

Want to stay organised as co-parents?

Download our free Parenting Plan template to help you and your co-parent agree on shared goals, routines and decision-making – with your children at the centre.

As a thank you for listening, here’s 3 months of the amicable co-parenting app for free! Open this link on your phone, install the app and create your account. Once that’s done, select 'I have a promo code' when setting up your family, enter PODCAST, press ‘apply’ and enjoy staying organised together.

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