What does a Divorce Coach do and how can they help with our divorce?

Silhouette of man and woman against brick wall
Originally published on 26th March 2020 at 12:50 PM

When the decision is made to end a relationship, you will both be coming to terms with your own emotions and the logistics involved in parting ways. Now add in children, families, friends, property and pets, and suddenly the process can become an overwhelming cocktail of options and opinions.  

The truth is, most people don’t get divorced very often, and it’s pretty rare that you will continue living the same lifestyle when you separate. So to fore-see all the things you’ll have to sort out and navigate is tough. It is a vulnerable and worrying time. 

This is where a Divorce Coach comes in. This is a very important time in your life. Succeeding in an amicable separation is crucial to the emotional recovery for both parties and, of course, any children. How you set the tone now could affect your family for a long time to come. 

Here’s a breakdown of why more and more people work with Divorce Coaches online, by phone, or both and why their input can benefit your family: 

1. Help the whole family focus on the future 

Getting tied up in knots with ‘my lawyer says I’m entitled to…’ is quite frankly not a helpful approach to moving on with your lives. This is especially true if you have kids. The coach will focus on what you both want for the future, help you both reach acceptance about where you are now, and help you both to approach your separation calmly and rationally. 

2. Set realistic goals for both of you financially 

How do you divide everything fairly so that both parties and any children can have the support that is needed? A Divorce Coach can help you to assess your financial reality, discuss how to split up fairly, and how both parties can leave the marriage with some level of respect and what they need. 

3. Save money  

 Arguing over the finances and/or the childcare arrangements can cost you a fortune. Lawyers are usually costly, and the costs can escalate very quickly. In no time, the money you both could be spending on your new lives is instead is being spent on arguing through lawyers.

4. Save time 

Gaining support from a Divorce Coach can save you both time as you’ll have a source of information and support from someone ‘who’s been there and done that’. Their purpose is to help you understand the process, your options and your emotions as soon as possible, so you have all the support you need to sort things out in a timely manner and without rushing you to make any decisions.  

5. Work with both people  

 A Divorce Coach helps you both to progress through the emotional, legal, and practical changes that divorce brings. A structured yet supportive approach which allows for the least possible acrimony, and maintains the most positive, open communication between all parties. It also eliminates miscommunication as you’re both hearing the same thing from the same expert.  

6. Myth-busting 

Can you get divorced for free if you wait for two years? Is it true you are automatically divorced if you are living apart for more than five years? No – these are both myths, and there are plenty divorce-related myths out there! 

Lots of people will likely have an opinion about what you should do and how the process works. They may have been divorced themselves, know someone who has who have heard stories from their sister’s friend’s ex-partner.

As much as these opinions will be offered to help and are likely to be coming from a good place, they can often confuse matters and lead to misinformation about how things work. A Divorce Coach is there to myth bust and help you receive the correct information. 

Find out more about amicable’s Divorce Coach approach and how it can help your unique family circumstances by booking a free 15-minute advice call here.  

 

About the author

Moira is a qualified counsellor, with an MBA to help sort out finances too. Moira wants to help you both make positive decisions which will benefit everybody. Having been through a long and contested divorce herself she is keen to help others avoid the unnecessary and costly pitfalls that are out there.

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