What’s the difference between mediation and negotiation services like amicable?

When I made the sad decision that my marriage was over, I was terrified about how my ex-partner and I were going to sort stuff out. I knew we’d have to talk about the kids, and where we would both live and who would get what in terms of savings, pensions, and financial support.

So, I thought mediation would be the best way forward. What scared me, however, was how I was going to hold my own in mediation with a man who negotiated for a living.

I understand now, having talked to thousands of divorcing couples through my work at amicable, that this is a common fear. Mediation works well when the playing field is level and the agreement you’re coming to fits squarely in the middle of what the courts find acceptable. But there are some downsides to mediation, and this is evident by the falling numbers of people using it to sort out their finances in a divorce.

We set up amicable to bring together the best bits of mediation but add a level of intervention and advice that mediation often lacks. In our negotiation service, you work with a sensible, pragmatic person (your Divorce Specialist) who is trained in what the law says and who offers negotiation support to help you apply the law to your circumstances. We won’t take sides, but neither will we leave it up to you to navigate unchartered territory. Here’s a summary of how amicable negotiation and mediation differ.

What is the difference between mediation and negotiation?

	amicable	Mediation
You can work together as a couple	Yes	Yes
You stay in control of the process	Yes	Yes
You have someone to say what’s fair and what’s not as well as what’s legal	Yes – we will give you a pragmatic view and explain what’s legal as well as why legal advice to each of you may differ	No – mediation is a facilitation where YOU decide what is right for you
You have access to support & guidance outside of the meetings	Yes	No – mediation takes place in a series of three-way meetings. On-going support is not included
You can meet individually with your Specialist/ mediator/ lawyer	Yes – if you need to speak to your Divorce Specialist on your own you can do so – we will talk to you about the rules around confidentiality	No – mediation usually takes place with you both in one room.
You can do a MIAM (necessary if you need to ask the court to resolve issues that you cannot agree on)	No. You will need to find a specially trained mediator or use the amicable arbitration service to resolve your impasse	Yes – if you wish to make an application to court because mediation has broken down a specially trained mediator will complete a MIAM
You can do the whole divorce process including writing up legal documents in one place	Yes – amicable is a one-stop-shop. We write up your agreement and draft your legal documents	No – you’ll need a lawyer to review and write up your agreements
Prices are fixed with no hidden costs	Yes – we offer a fixed price service that you can split into instalments and legal drafting costs are included. Our negotiation service is unlimited, meaning you can have as many meetings as you need to get things sorted	No – you will pay per meeting and the process is rarely fixed fee. You will need to ask a solicitor to review your agreement and turn it into a legally binding financial order at an extra cost

If you’d like to find out more about which service is right for you, we offer Joint Advice Consultation to help you decide your separation options.  

If you have any questions or would like some support, please book a free 15-minute call with one of our experts here.

The Divorce Podcast

In this episode of The Divorce Podcast, Kate was joined by Anthony Syder, a mediator turned Divorce Specialist and Rebecca Jones, a divorce lawyer turned Divorce Specialist who explained the key differences between each route. Listen here:

FAQs

What is the difference between negotiation and mediation?

The key difference between amicable negotiation and mediation is that a mediator will not say what is fair and what isn’t whereas an amicable negotiation specialist will tell you what is realistic and fair, and provide structured guidance. amicable will also write up your agreement into a consent order.

Does amicable offer mediation services?

At amicable, mediation isn’t something that is available. However, negotiation services are more flexible than mediation and can help you come to a better agreement at a more cost-effective price.

Where can I hire the services of a mediator or negotiator?

You can find an accredited mediator by visiting the Family Mediation Council. You can get an amicable Negotiation Specialist by booking a free 15-minute consultation here.