What is a nesting arrangement? The complete guide

If you’ve recently separated or divorced, you may be exploring different co-parenting arrangements to find the best fit for your family. You may have come across the term 'nesting' and may be thinking ‘What is a nesting arrangement?’

In this guide, we’ll explain nesting arrangements, how they work and how they compare to other co-parenting setups. We’ll also explore the key benefits and challenges to help you decide if nesting is the right choice for you.

Every family’s situation is unique and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. The best approach is often a flexible, tailored arrangement that meets your family’s specific needs and schedules.

What is co-parenting?

Co-parenting refers to a parenting style where parents share the responsibility for bringing up their children despite being separated or divorced. This involves joint problem-solving with a common goal of raising your children to the best of your ability and setting aside any issues that may have caused the breakdown of your relationship as a couple. Co-parenting needs both parents to be able to communicate amicably.

For more information on this topic, explore our list of co-parenting dos and don’ts.

If you’ve recently separated or divorced, communication may be strained, and it may be hard to move past the issues that led to the end of your relationship.You might want to look into parallel parenting as an alternative parenting arrangement if communication has broken down completely.

But the benefits of co-parenting are well worth it. Professional advice and support could help turn things around and help you start working together again. Explore our Separating with Children Service for more information.

What are some common co-parenting arrangements?

Co-parenting arrangements vary to suit different family needs. Common patterns include your co-parent looking after the children every other extended weekend and one night during the week, every other weekend or every weekend.

More equal shared care models may include schedules like 3-4-4-3, 2-2-5-5, alternating weeks and nesting, where children remain in the family home while parents rotate.

Patterns where your co-parent has the children:

• Every other extended weekend and one night during the week
• Every other weekend
• Every weekend

Shared-care arrangements:

• 3-4-4-3 (three days with Parent A, four days with Parent B, then four days with Parent A, four days with Parent B)
• 2-2-5-5 (Monday-Tuesday with Parent A, Wednesday-Thursday with Parent B, Friday-Tuesday Parent A, Wednesday-Sunday with Parent B, repeat)
• Every other week
• Nesting (the children stay in the house and the parents rotate)

For more tips on how to choose a childcare arrangement that works for you both, read our guide on childcare arrangements.

Remember, it’s not the amount of time you get to spend with your children that’s important, but finding the setup that works best for them.

Shared care arrangements can get complicated. To stay on the same page, try our co-parenting app, which features a shared calendar to keep all your schedules in one place.

What is a nesting arrangement?

A nesting arrangement refers to a co-parenting arrangement where the children remain in the family home, and the parents rotate between the houses. Its name comes from the idea of birds nesting.

It’s usually adopted as a temporary solution during the transitional period after a couple separate, before a more permanent arrangement is agreed.

If you are considering a nesting arrangement, it’s important to consider where you will stay when you aren’t in the family home. If it’s a short-term solution, it might be possible to stay with parents, extended family or friends. However, this may not be possible as a long-term shared-care arrangement, unless you can secure three homes for yourself, your co-parent and the family home.

Pros and cons of nesting arrangements:

The nesting style of childcare arrangements has various pros and cons.

Nesting can take away some of the uncertainty and stress children may feel when their parents first separate, as they remain in the family home while their parents rotate. This arrangement can often feel intuitive, as the family home remains the central place for the children to stay and the parents can organise around this based on their schedules.

However, it also presents certain challenges. One drawback is the requirement for multiple living spaces, which may not be possible for many families. Plus, families still need to establish a shared-care pattern, such as a 2-2-5-5 schedule.

Here are some pros and cons of nesting arrangements in practice:

Pros:

• A practical short-term measure whilst you settle into co-parenting
• May be particularly helpful for younger children, as their surroundings aren’t disrupted
• Gives children a clear sense of ‘home’ in a period of uncertainty
• Allows routines to continue as normal, for example existing school and holiday arrangements

Cons:

• Requires multiple spaces or parents sacrificing their own space
• As a long-term arrangement, it would require three homes, such as two separate places for the parents as well as the family home
• You will still need to work out a further shared-care arrangement pattern
• To stay on good terms, parents need to be extra organised to ensure there’s always a full fridge and the home remains clean and tidy when arriving and leaving

Get support with your co-parenting journey

If you’re considering a nesting arrangement or need support with your co-parenting journey, amicable is here to help. Our expert team guides families through separation, divorce, and co-parenting to ensure the best outcome for you and your children.

Our Separating with Children Service offers 90-minute sessions with Co-parenting Specialists to discuss, explore or improve any aspect of your child arrangements or co-parenting relationship.

We understand the challenges of transitioning to a new co-parenting setup and offer practical solutions tailored to your needs. Get in touch today to learn how we can support you in creating a stable and positive future for your children.

Nesting arrangement FAQs

What does nesting mean in divorce?

Nesting refers to a co-parenting arrangement where the children remain in the family home and the parents go between the houses. This arrangement aims to minimise disruption to your children’s routines, ensuring they have stability and continuity in their daily lives. Nesting requires a high level of cooperation and organisation between parents, as they continue to share a living space at different times. It can be emotionally challenging, particularly if the divorce is not amicable.

How does nesting work in a divorce?

You will need to find an arrangement that works for you, however, nesting arrangements are often a temporary solution in the transitional period after separation or divorce. Clear communication and defined responsibilities help maintain boundaries and reduce the potential for conflict, making sure that both parents contribute to the home's upkeep. While nesting provides children with stability and less disruption to their routines, it can be emotionally and logistically challenging for parents.