Childcare arrangements after divorce & separation

Organising childcare arrangements and adjusting to your new family set-up post-separation can be challenging.

Childcare arrangements are also called children or child arrangements. You may not get it right the first time, but this will change. What worked in the beginning, may not be working for you now and that’s completely normal. The main things to remember when it comes to sorting out childcare arrangements after divorce are that:

• Your family is unique and nobody’s perfect
• Don’t sweat the small stuff, focus on the bigger picture
• Think about what you can realistically control and how can you create an environment where your children can thrive

Careful planning of childcare arrangements is of the utmost importance in terms of protecting your children during what can be a stressful time.

The grid below lists some suggestions on childcare arrangements after divorce or ‘care patterns’. We have also created a brand-new co-parenting app to help you organise and structure these arrangements. The key considerations to keep in mind are:

Five considerations for childcare arrangements:

1. Are you both in agreement?

Are you both in agreement about the childcare arrangements? Will you be sharing time with the children after divorce and if not, how can both parents contribute in their own way? If not, explore external support to help you to communicate. There’s so much support out there from experts and co-parents who have ‘been there and done that’. You can book a co-parenting session by clicking the button below.

2. Do you have a parenting plan?

A parenting plan is an essential document to sort out, that will help you work out your childcare arrangements after separation. It’s not a legal document, but it is helpful to have your childcare arrangements recorded somewhere for peace of mind on both sides. Download amicable’s Parenting Plan here, or you can sign up for a free 30-day trial of the brand-new amicable co-parenting app.

3. Are the childcare arrangements realistic?

To reduce the likelihood of this being a stressful experience, you need to make sure that the childcare arrangements make logistical and financial sense. For example, do you live close enough to each other to make sharing work? Creating realistic child living arrangements after divorce is crucial in terms of navigating co-parenting, once legally separated from your ex.

4. Have you got a way of managing the day-to-day?

Once you’re agreed on the general childcare arrangements such as who pays for child care after divorce, how will you manage diaries and ad-hoc arrangements? You may find that amicable’s co-parenting app helps with this. In fact, this was one of the primary reasons we created the app: to help parents co-parent during and after separating so that they can focus on what really matters, their kids.

5. Have you let key people know what’s going on?

This could include sharing the pickup schedule with their school(s). This may also include informing the school(s) about close family and friends who are also included in the childcare arrangements.

The ‘suitable for’ column is just a guide based on the cognitive and emotional development of the average child. The suitability of a childcare pattern will depend a great deal on what your child has been used to, whether there has been a primary carer or childcare has been shared between parents or other caregivers and of course your child or children’s personality. You may also need to consider the impact of siblings.

Should you need more help with childcare arrangements after divorce or separation, or you need help with formulating a parenting plan, amicable offer a parenting planning service.

Additional resources:

• Download amicable’s Parenting Plan
• Book a session with a co-parenting expert
• Download amicable’s co-parenting app

Co-parenting app:

Try amicable's brand new co-parenting app. You can try all features of the app for free via the 30-day trial. The app exists to help separated and separating parents manage all aspects of co-parenting including childcare arrangements after divorce, making parenting after divorce and separation simpler. We are constantly adding new features and striving to improve the app based on feedback.

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