Five steps to overcome loneliness after divorce

Being alone for the first time in years can be one of the hardest parts of divorce. Daily routines change. Your living situation may feel unfamiliar. Shared friendship groups can shift. Even if your separation was amicable, the loss of everyday companionship can leave a feeling of emptiness behind.

Feeling lonely after divorce is completely normal – it’s a natural emotional response to a major life change. Loneliness doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong, or that separating wasn’t the right choice - it simply means you’re adjusting to a new way of living.

Loneliness after divorce can feel overwhelming, but there are simple, practical ways to cope. This guide outlines five steps - from mindfulness and new routines to rebuilding connections, co-parenting and seeking help - to support your life after divorce journey and help you feel more confident and connected.

Divorce Specialist Francesca Davey has put together this step-by-step guide to help you overcome divorce loneliness and rebuild your confidence with kindness and clarity.

Why do so many people feel lonely after a relationship breakdown?

Loneliness is common. National statistics show that around 24% of UK adults (roughly one in four) reported feeling lonely in 2025, and 82% have experienced loneliness at some point in their lives - but many of them had not told anyone about how they were feeling.

It’s easy to feel ashamed or worried about being judged for experiencing loneliness, but the best way to start feeling better is to talk to someone you trust.

Being married or in a civil partnership has been linked to lower rates of loneliness. On average, married people are less than half as likely to be lonely when compared to single people. After a relationship breakdown, you may realise how central your relationship was in your life - and that perhaps some friends and other connections have not been prioritised. If you share a friendship group, it can feel uncertain what this dynamic will be like post-split.

For new co-parents, loneliness can also come from the emotional adjustment of spending less time with your children. This is a normal part of learning new routines and co-parenting dynamics.

What does loneliness feel like?

Everyone experiences loneliness differently, but these feelings are common:

• Feeling out of place or invisible
• You may feel self-conscious in a crowd or disconnected from the people around you.
• Difficulty sticking to routines
• Usual tasks like cooking, cleaning or organising your week may feel harder than usual.
• You could be experiencing exhaustion, sleep struggles or appetite changes.
• Intrusive thoughts or self-doubt
• When you’re alone with your thoughts, you might question yourself or replay past events.
• A general sense of sadness
• You may find it harder to enjoy things you previously loved

These feelings are all part of emotional recovery after divorce, but they can ease with time, reflection and the right support. Read more about how to adjust your lifestyle following separation in this blog.

Step 1: Try practical mindfulness to feel less lonely

When feeling lonely, your thoughts and emotions can feel overwhelming to start with. A good place to start is identifying your emotions and putting simple steps in place to address them:

1. Recognise loneliness as part of grieving the loss of a significant relationship

2. Name your feelings - sharing them with others or writing them in a journal is a big step towards acceptance

3. Talk to a trusted friend or a therapist - it can help you understand what’s at the core of your loneliness

4. Reduce your time on social media if it makes you compare yourself to others - muting notifications or limiting screen time can give you space to breathe

Mindfulness is about gentle awareness - accepting how you feel without judgement and focusing on what’s within your control.

Step 2: Build new routines that belong to you

It could be that you’re unsure who you are outside of a long-term relationship and don’t know which routines belong to you - or which were created in the relationship. Rebuilding your sense of self takes time, but small steps help.

You can try:

• Changing up your morning routine - go for a walk, grab a coffee or listen to a podcast

• Revisiting an old hobby that you used to love

• Trying a new recipe and inviting a friend to share it with you

If you’re low on energy, aim to do one productive thing each day - even if that’s just making a cup of tea

Creating new routines is a powerful way to reconnect with yourself after divorce. Small, consistent actions can help you rebuild your identity, connect with others and rediscover joy in daily life during a time of change.

Step 3: Rebuild your connections

When you and your partner split up, it can often be a surprise to realise how much you depended on your partner for companionship and stability. Without this, you can feel quite alone and uncertain in how to navigate social situations or spend your time.

Here are some gentle ways to reconnect:

• Reach out to existing friends or those who you haven’t spoken to in awhile - people are often happy to help, but may not know how.

• Say yes to simple invitations like meeting for a coffee or a cinema visit

• Join local community or online groups with shared interests, like amicable space

• For co-parents: build a support circle of people in a similar stage - either through your child’s school or local parenting groups

You don’t need to create a large social circle right away - it’s okay to start small and grow from there. Having a few close friends you can trust and share a laugh with will make a big difference.

Step 4: Take time to adjust to co-parenting changes

Divorce and separation come with enormous adjustments for children, parents and extended family. Agreeing on co-parenting routines with an ex-partner can be challenging, and knowing that your children won’t be around some of the time may add to your feelings of loneliness.

Here are some ways for your new co-parenting routine to feel less isolating:

1. Make handovers positive It’s important for both you and your children that handovers feel secure and calm. Predictable routines - like a chat about the week ahead, a hug or stopping for a pastry before handover - can help everyone feel more emotionally connected.

2. Use your time alone for yourself Being a parent often means always being available and ‘on duty’. Having time alone can be confusing at first, but try to see it as a chance to rest, recharge and do something for yourself.

3. Have fun together Make the most of your time with your children by doing different activities - experiencing new things together will help you all learn things about each other and build a closer relationship. You could try cooking, a board game or a day trip to explore somewhere new.

4. Be flexible where you can Your co-parenting routines will change as your children grow and as both you and your co-parent move forward. Flexibility and open communication are key.

5. Try to stay practical and supportive with your co-parent Tools like the amicable co-parenting app can help keep things simple.

If you’re not sure where to start with your co-parenting plan, you can look at our Separating with Children Service to start your co-parenting journey with confidence. These sessions can help you find an approach that puts your child’s wellbeing at the centre.

Step 5: Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Loneliness is a part of life, but it doesn’t need to feel overwhelming. Talking about it doesn’t mean you’re failing – it’s a sign you care deeply and are ready for change.

You could try:

• Therapy to help you work through your separation and feelings of loneliness

• Parenting groups (in person or online) to help you feel less isolated

• Volunteering or community groups to connect you with people and purpose

• Chatty cafés if you’d like simple, friendly conversation

You may not feel hopeful about the future right now, but things can and will change with time. Healing and moving forward from a major life transition like separation requires patience and understanding.

Finding comfort in small wins - a good conversation, a productive day, a quiet evening of peace - can help you appreciate the good moments and recognise your progress.

Overcoming loneliness after divorce is about making space for new parts of your life - and perhaps even revisiting some of the old ones that had been forgotten or left behind. Every small step takes you closer to feeling more confident and more like yourself again.

FAQ:

1. Is it normal to feel lonely after a divorce or separation?

Yes - loneliness after divorce is completely normal. You’re adjusting to a major life change and grieving the end of your relationship. Even if your split was amicable, it’s normal to miss shared routines and companionship. Read more about the emotional stages of divorce here.

2. How long does divorce loneliness last?

There’s no set timeline for healing after divorce. Loneliness after divorce or separation can take more or less time to feel better, depending on your support network and what you experienced during your relationship. Getting support through therapy or amicable’s services can help you feel more in control.

3. What can I do if I feel lonely when my kids spend time with my ex?

It’s very common to feel lonely when your children are away. Try to use this time for rest, self-care or connecting with friends. Talking openly with your co-parent about how you feel could also be helpful, as they may be able to provide you with more updates or reassurance - and are very likely to be experiencing the same thing when you have the children.