What are the effects of divorce on children?

Co-founder of amicable, Kate Daly, shares her experience and tips for managing the effects of divorce on children.

Learning from my mistakes

I knew my divorce would be tough - but I wasn’t prepared for just how long it would take, the amount of money it would cost or the emotional impact it would have on my family, especially the children.

Like many parents I worried about my children the most – the impact divorce was having (or would have) on them and how I could make things better. Through my own experience and my work at amicable, I’ve learned that the way parents manage their separation has a far greater effect on children than divorce itself. My goal now is to help families separate in a way that prioritises the well-being of children and reduces conflict. That’s how amicable was born.

Our mission at amicable is simple: divorce shouldn’t be a train wreck. We help parents make decisions about co-parenting and finances that put their children first, so the impact of divorce on children is minimised and couples can work better together.

It’s also important to be a safe space for your children and communicate change to them in ways they can understand.

How does divorce affect children?

Parents often ask if there’s a 'divorce that doesn’t hurt children.' The latest evidence shows that children whose parents separate are more likely to face challenges in emotional wellbeing and education. However, outcomes are heavily influenced by how co-parents manage their separation and the level of parental conflict.

The Children’s Commissioner’s Independent Family Review (2022) found:

1. Children from high-conflict families may do better after separation than if their parents stayed together
2. Low-conflict, child-focused separations tend to have less negative impact
3. Strong parenting and supportive family networks play an important role

Read the full Children’s Commissioner report.

Most people need a bit of help with this especially if they are feeling emotional themselves. Get some help from professionals like our Divorce Specialists to guide you through the best way to handle the kids.

Staying in a high-conflict relationship 'for the kids' can inadvertently model poor relationship behaviour, which may affect how children form relationships later in life. Low-conflict action often benefits children most - as does communicating changes to them in an age-appropriate way.

Practical tips: What children need to know from you

Research shows that 85% of young people whose parents separated felt unable to speak openly about how the separation was affecting them*.

Many hide their emotions to protect their parents or avoid conflict, and one in five felt pressured to take sides. This is why it’s so important to be a safe place for your children to communicate openly. Many children benefit from these three reassurances if their parents are separating:

1. It's not their fault

2. You both love them

3. You will continue to be their parents together

Parents can often benefit from some help with this, especially if they are feeling emotional themselves. You can get expert advice and practical guidance from professionals like our Co-parenting Specialists to guide you through the best way to handle age-appropriate conversations with your children.

In this episode of The Divorce Podcast, I’m joined by Sarah Madden Armstrong, VP of Global Marketing Operations at Google and author of ‘The Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce’, to explore what a ‘good divorce’ looks like in practice, when children are involved.

We designed our app specifically to help parents co-parent after separating, putting their children first and meeting children’s needs.

Split Happens: Support for young people

Homes, routines and relationships can shift overnight when you separate from your partner. Adults may have legal advice or support, but young people are often left trying to make sense of it all on their own.

Along with experts at Your Direction, part of separation support charity Restored Lives, we created a free digital platform supporting young people aged 13-30 who are navigating parental separation.

Split Happens provides a safe, accessible starting point for understanding separation and its impact. The platform includes:

1. A supportive chatbot, Yuni. Yuni answers questions without judgement and guides young people with safe, expert-reviewed advice

2. Real stories from peers: Hearing from other young people who have experienced parental separation helps users feel they aren’t alone in their feelings and viewpoints

3. Links to real-world support through workshops with Your Direction

Everything on Split Happens is anonymous, safe and compliant with the ICO Children’s Code and the Online Safety Act so young people can explore sensitive topics with confidence.

Find out more by visiting Split Happens

Why amicable works for parents

Our approach uses technology and expert guidance to create a low-conflict and positive co-parenting environment, making the separation and co-parenting journey simpler and calmer:

• Divorce Specialists guide you step-by-step, using a tested and proven negotiation method (GROW) to help couples agree.
• Couples are more likely to agree as a team and work together, which makes separations less stressful and uncertain for children.
• Co-parenting Specialists help you develop a new co-parenting relationship with your ex-partner once you’ve separated and learn how to communicate effectively.
• Co-parenting Specialists help you tailor living arrangements and routines for children at all stages

Many of our Divorce Specialists are parents themselves and come from backgrounds in family law - they know the difference between what looks fair on paper and what works in practice.

If you and your ex-partner want to set strong foundations for co-parenting apart, you can book a Separating with Children Service to finalise your co-parenting agreements.

Our co-parenting app helps parents communicate effectively after separation, ensuring children’s needs are met first, reducing tension and keeping things simple. Find out how the co-parenting app by amicable can help co-parents plan together between households.

I’m reminded just how important it is to start off in a calm place when it comes to co-parenting when I read reviews like this.

You can read more reviews about how we work and what couples’ have experienced with us on Trustpilot.

*amicable commissioned Opinium online research, 2,000 UK adults aged 16–30, December 2025

FAQs

How can you divorce better for kids?

You can minimise the impact of your separation on your children by reducing conflict and parental absence. These are the two main factors that have a negative impact on children.

Does divorce impact children?

Divorce can affect children emotionally, but research shows that ongoing parental conflict has a greater impact than the separation itself. Children tend to cope better when parents communicate calmly and prioritise their wellbeing.

How can parents reduce the impact of divorce on their children?

Parents can help by reducing conflict, maintaining routines and communicating openly with their children. Wherever possible, keep disagreements away from the children and get support early around your co-parenting arrangements. Our Separating with Children Service helps couples work together to create a child-focused plan that can adapt as your family grows.

What is co-parenting after divorce?

Co-parenting is when separated parents continue working together to raise their children. It involves shared decisions about their children, consistent routines across households and respectful communication.

What should I say to my children about my divorce?

Children benefit from knowing three things: the separation isn’t their fault, both parents love them and both parents will continue to care for them.

Where can young people get support after their parents separate?

Young people can find support through trusted platforms like Split Happens – a free platform created specifically for young people aged 13–30 affected by parental separation – and youth organisations designed to help them understand and cope with parental separation.