What are your legal rights when separating if you live together but you’re not married?

Navigating a separation can be daunting. The decision to part ways can come with a lot of worries about the legal process, finances and your children's wellbeing.

If you find yourself in this situation and you live with your ex-partner but you’re not married, it's important to understand your options so you can protect your children and assets now and in the future.

Living together and your legal rights

Living with a partner when you’re not married is also called cohabitation. This is common – around 22% of couples who live together aren’t married or in a civil partnership.

Lots of people incorrectly believe that they automatically gain rights to their partner's property and belongings if they live together for a long time. There is a widespread myth that cohabiting raises the legal status of a relationship, giving couples what is sometimes referred to as a ‘common-law marriage’.

The reality is that there’s no such thing as a common-law marriage. A cohabiting relationship does not change your legal relationship or marital status and your rights and responsibilities towards each other are limited compared to that of a married couple,

That said, there’s still lots you can do to protect your finances and the wellbeing of your family when a cohabiting relationship ends. This guide will help you make the best decisions for you and your family.

Do you need a legal separation if you’re not married?

If you aren’t married, you won't need a legal separation or divorce to formalise your separation. Those are only possible for married couples or civil partners. However, you may benefit from having a separation agreement drawn up to outline your financial split.

A separation agreement explains how you have split your money, property and other assets in a separation. For example, it might say who will pay the rent or mortgage and the bills. It might also outline any child or spousal maintenance arrangements and what will happen to the proceeds of a property once sold.

Explore this free guide for more information on separation agreements.

A separation agreement is different to a consent order, as it doesn't go through court, and so isn't automatically legally enforceable. A consent order, on the other hand, is legally enforceable once approved. You can only get a consent order if you are married or in a civil partnership, so it isn't an available option for separating unmarried couples/cohabiting couples.

Whilst not automatically legally enforceable, a separation agreement carries a lot of weight in court if it’s been drafted correctly – it can help protect you against future financial claims.

Your legal rights during separation when you’re not married

In England and Wales, the legal rights and protections for couples who aren’t married are quite different compared to those who are married or in a civil partnership.

Here’s a breakdown of what you need to know:

Property and assets

When you break up as an unmarried couple, you have no automatic right to each other’s property or other assets, such as pensions, savings, investments, cars and cash balances. This is true no matter how long you've been together or lived together.

There are some exceptions to this rule, including if you have a cohabitation agreement, which sets out what will happen to your assets if you split up. Plus, if you’re tenants in common ownership of your property, you’re entitled to your share in the property when you split up.

If you live in a property owned by your partner, you’ll not usually have any rights to the property unless you can prove you have either contributed to the deposit for the house or the mortgage payments or made a financial commitment, like paying for major work on the house, with the understanding that you would own a share of the house.

If one of you has contributed more to the home or other shared assets, the idea of walking away with nothing can be worrying. Just because you don’t automatically have a right to each other’s assets doesn’t mean you can’t divide them. Many separating couples choose to divide their money and negotiate a fair financial agreement between themselves or with the help of a service such as amicable.

Financial support

Unlike married couples, there's no legal obligation to provide financial support to your ex after separation. However, if there are children involved, child maintenance may need to be paid by the parent who doesn’t look after the child most of the time.

Talking about your financial arrangements early on in your separation is useful. This helps to avoid misunderstandings and ensures you’re both clear on your responsibilities. A separation agreement can be drafted to document your financial arrangements.

Struggling to agree how to split your money and property? Book a free 15-minute advice consultation with an amicable specialist to explore your options and next steps.

Children

Parental responsibilities and rights are based on the best interests of your children. As parents, both of you share the responsibility to support your children financially and emotionally, even if you aren’t living together.

Learn more about the kinds of things you should discuss by reading our blog on childcare after separation.

If you don’t know how to approach discussions with your ex-partner about your child arrangements, talk to a professional. An experienced separation expert can provide the advice and support you need to move forward with your separation. They will take your unique circumstances into account and work with you to find the right solution for your family.

How to make a separation agreement and achieve positive futures apart

As a cohabiting couple, a separation agreement outlines how you’ll divide your money and property and look after your children when you end your relationship and stop living together. This needs to be mutually agreed.

Although separation is often a very challenging time, always keep in mind that a positive future is ahead. The key to a fair, amicable separation is to stay informed and open to discussion so that you reach a solution that you both feel is fair. Here are four key steps to help you get started:

1. Gather your personal and joint financial information

If you’re negotiating a financial agreement, it’s important to know what you have before you can divide it. Gather relevant financial information and get valuations for assets such as property, businesses and pensions.

Locate any property ownership and any agreements made during your relationship. These documents can be invaluable if you don’t agree how to split your finances and responsibilities later on.

2. Prioritise your children’s needs

Focus on the wellbeing of your children throughout the separation process.

There are lots of things to agree on when you separate with children, such as where they’ll live, who they’ll live with and when your children will spend time with each parent.

Often, changes will have to be made to their usual routines during and after separation. Communicate these changes to your children in advance and keep things as consistent as possible.

It’s important to reassure your children throughout the separation that they are loved by both of you and that this is not their fault.

You can explore lots more about parenting during and after separation by reading our co-parenting blogs or downloading your DIY parenting plan template.

3. Review your finances

When you’ve pulled together a detailed overview of your financial situation, consider how separation will impact your income, living expenses and long-term financial goals.

This will help you come to an informed and fair financial agreement that you are happy with and that meets the needs of your whole family. Every situation is unique and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to separation. Take the time to consider your circumstances and make decisions that prioritise any children and align with your values and priorities.

Keep in mind that there’s no legal duty to provide financial support in a separation. The only exception is for child support.

4. Plan for the future

Look ahead and make plans for your future post-separation.

This includes housing arrangements, career goals and personal wellbeing. Having a clear vision can provide a sense of direction and stability during this transitional period.

Getting help during separation if you’re not married

If you're facing separation and have more questions about your rights or the journey ahead, reach out to legal professionals and trusted advisors who can give guidance tailored to your situation.

Our services offer a unique approach to separation that reduces conflict, keeps costs down and puts your family first. To discover the right separation route for you, use amicable’s service finder tool or book your free 15-minute consultation with a Separation Specialist.

Legal rights, cohabitation and separation FAQs

Am I entitled to any financial assistance in my separation if I’m not married?

There isn’t a legal obligation to provide financial support to your ex after separation. But if you have children, the non-primary caregiver may still have to pay child maintenance.

What is a separation agreement and do I need one if I’m not married?

A separation agreement is a document that outlines the agreed-upon split of your finances. Although it isn't legally enforceable by the court, it can carry weight in court if written correctly. Separation agreements aren't essential in a separation but are a good way for unmarried couples to protect themselves against future financial claims. These claims could be brought against your current assets or any future assets/inheritance.

What’s the difference between a legal separation and a separation agreement?

Legal separation is the process of going to the courts to formalise your separation. This is also known as judicial separation and is for married couples or civil partners. Alternatively, a separation agreement is a legal document. This outlines how assets, debts and other financial considerations are split if a couple separates. A separation agreement can be used by