Divorce and how to make the most out of father's day
Originally published on 28th September 2018 at 10:20 AM
Reading time: 2 mins
If you are a Dad going through divorce or separation this Father’s Day, the day can feel bittersweet depending on your situation. This blog looks at how to make the most of Father’s Day when you’re going through a divorce, whether you’re with your kids or not. I’ll highlight what’s important – celebrating your relationship with your children.
If you’re not with the children this Father’s Day
- Father’s Day in the UK is on Sunday 18th June this year. If you’re not scheduled to look after your children then you could make time before or after this date to do something together. Father’s Day is a celebration and is important bonding time with your kids – but it doesn’t have to be celebrated on Sunday 18th June.
- Consider writing these days into the Parenting Plan you have/are in the process of agreeing with your ex-partner. It feels easier if you’re aware of what’s been agreed ahead of time. More on Parenting Plans here.
- Let your children know you’re thinking of them; call, text or write.
- Do something for you because separation is hard so don’t waste the day and instead make time to enjoy yourself.
If you’re with your children
- Make plans with your ex-partner so they know what’s happening, again you can agree on this in advance through a Parenting Plan with your ex.
- Make what’s in your power, great. Father’s Day doesn’t need to be about gifts or anything fancy, it’s about quality time spent with your children.
- Separation and divorce can be stressful and upsetting for children, whatever their age so where possible alleviate this by focusing on them and quality time together.
Tips for Mum’s on Father’s Day
- If possible, change arrangements to facilitate the kids seeing their Dad on Father’s Day.
- Support your child’s relationship with their father with positive comments and highlighting Dad’s good points.
- Help younger children make or buy cards to send or give to their Dad. Remind older kids to buy and postcards or message their Dad.
- If your kids aren’t in touch with their Dad don’t ignore the day. Other people will be talking about it and your kids will almost certainly have questions. Give your kids every opportunity to talk about their Dad. Let them know its ok to do so. If your own feelings about him make this impossible then consider seeking support.
As always, free advice from our divorce experts is available to get through divorce and separation so please do not hesitate to get in touch.
Speak to an amicable Coach for help transitioning from parents to co-parents.