Back to school tips after the holidays

The end of the Christmas holidays can be a challenging time for both parents and their children. After the excitement of the festive season, late nights, relaxed mornings, and plenty of treats, it can take time to get back into the rhythm of school life.

Adjusting back to the school routine can be particularly difficult if you’re co-parenting after a separation.

Here are some practical tips to help make the transition easier for your family, setting up a smoother, more enjoyable start to the new school term.

Back to school tips:

1. Plan ahead

Transitioning from the laid-back pace of the holidays to the structured routine of school can be challenging for children, especially if they’ve been moving between two homes.

Planning ahead and setting clear expectations can help ease this transition for everyone.

Establish consistent routines

Returning to a routine can feel like a shock to the system after the holidays. To help make the first week back easier, try gradually reintroducing a consistent routine a few days before term starts.

Simple changes, like gradually moving bedtime a bit earlier each night and encouraging everyone to wake up closer to the usual school time, can make that first early morning feel a bit less daunting.

Children thrive on predictability, and consistent routines across both homes can help them feel more secure. Try to work with your co-parent to establish similar morning and evening routines in both households. This might include a set bedtime, designated homework time, or having breakfast together before school. The more consistency your children experience between both homes, the easier it will be for them to adapt to the school routine.

Prepare together

Involving your children in back-to-school preparations can help them feel more in control and excited about returning to school.

This could be as simple as allowing them to pick out a new backpack or stationery or helping them lay out their uniform the night before.

Help your children adjust back into learning

During the holidays, it’s common for children to take a break from learning, which can make it a little harder for them to dive straight back into schoolwork.

To ease your children back into the swing of things, consider doing some light educational activities in the days leading up to school. Reading a book together, doing a puzzle, or playing educational games can help reactivate their “learning muscles” and reduce any resistance to schoolwork.

If they have homework or reading assignments due, encourage them to tackle these in small, manageable chunks rather than all at once.

Helping your children to feel prepared for school in this way will make their transition back into their routine much smoother.

2. Communicate with your co-parent and school

Good communication is crucial in co-parenting, particularly when it comes to your children’s education. Keeping each other updated helps create a united front, providing stability for your children and ensuring that their best interests are always the focus.

The amicable co-parenting app is a great tool for keeping communication clear between you and your ex, as well as making sure your conversations are just focused on your children.

Stay in the loop

Ensure that both parents know about the full school calendar and any important dates, such as parent evenings, school trips, or sports days.

Keeping a shared calendar between both you and your co-parent, either a physical one or a digital version, can help you all stay on top of school commitments and make sure that nothing is missed.

Tell the school

If you haven’t already, tell your children’s school about your family situation. Teachers and school staff can offer extra help if they’re aware of any changes at home.

Sharing information about pick-up arrangements or significant dates (like when your child is with which parent) can help the school support your children’s wellbeing and reduce any confusion for them.

If you’re aware of any particular challenges or worries your children have about going back to school, reaching out to their teachers can help. Many teachers are more than willing to offer extra help if they know a child might need extra encouragement or reassurance.

3. Focus on your children’s wellbeing

Returning to school after the holidays can bring about a mix of emotions for children, particularly if they’re navigating the changes that come with separated parents.

Focusing on your children’s emotional wellbeing is key to making sure their transition back to school is successful.

Pay attention to emotions

Your children may feel anxious or overwhelmed at the thought of returning to school, especially after spending time with both parents over the holidays.

Watch out for any changes in their behaviour or mood and create opportunities for them to express their feelings. Simple check-ins, like asking about their day or discussing their favourite part of the school week, can help open up conversations and make them feel heard.

Managing back-to-school nerves

If your children are worrying about returning to school, reassure them that it’s normal to feel nervous after a long break. Talk to them about what they’re excited for, and help them reframe any worries into positive thoughts.

For example, instead of focusing on the end of the holidays, encourage them to think about seeing their friends or starting a new subject.

You can also practise calming techniques together, like deep breathing or simple visualisation exercises to help them relax. Remind them that it’s perfectly fine to take things at their own pace and that, with time, those nerves will start to settle.

After a few weeks apart, some children might feel a bit nervous about seeing friends again. If your children are feeling this way, reassure them that this is perfectly normal and that their friends are likely feeling the same way. Arranging a short playdate or a catch-up over video with a friend can ease those nerves, helping them feel more confident about seeing friends when they go back.

This can be especially helpful if there are any new classmates or changes in group dynamics. A quick check-in with a friend can bring a sense of reassurance and familiarity, easing them back into their social circle at school.

Co-parenting tips for the new school term

Co-parenting after separation takes effort and collaboration, particularly when it comes to supporting your children through school.

Here are some co-parenting tips to make the new school term run as smoothly as possible:

Agree on a homework plan

Homework can be a source of stress for children if they feel unsure about where or when they should complete it. Agreeing on a homework plan with your co-parent can help to create consistency across both households.

This might involve setting up a dedicated space for homework in each home or agreeing on set times when homework should be done. Providing consistent structure will help your children feel supported and avoid unnecessary tension.

Celebrate achievements together

Celebrating your children’s achievements, no matter how small, helps to reinforce their confidence and sense of security.

Whether it’s a good test result, a successful performance, or simply getting through a challenging week, try to involve both parents in recognising and celebrating these moments. Celebrating together shows your children that you’re both proud of them and that there is a united front between their parents.

Be flexible when needed

While consistency is crucial, flexibility is also important in co-parenting. Life is unpredictable, and sometimes things won’t go exactly as planned. If your co-parent needs to make changes to the schedule, try to approach the situation with understanding and a willingness to adapt. Flexibility helps to maintain a positive co-parenting relationship, which ultimately benefits your children.

Remember that every child transitions differently back to school, and it’s okay to make changes as needed. Some children may feel fully back in the swing of things within a few days, while others may take a bit longer.

Above all, take it easy on yourself and your children as you all settle back into the school routine. Transitions take time, and there may be a few bumps along the way. By remaining patient and flexible, you can help create a positive, stress-free experience for the whole family.

If you’re struggling to navigate co-parenting and the transition for your children, you may benefit from a co-parenting advice session. Speaking with one of our specialist provides a space to discuss any specific issues that you are facing and receive expert advice on post-separation parenting.

FAQs

How can I help my children adjust to two routines between both homes?

Consistency is key when helping your children adjust to routines between both homes. Work with your co-parent to establish similar morning and bedtime routines, so your children know what to expect, no matter where they are. It’s also helpful to keep open lines of communication, so both parents are aware of any changes or challenges in maintaining these routines. Start with small, gradual changes, like adjusting bedtimes and morning routines a few days before school starts. Encourage consistent mealtimes and some gentle structure around screen time to help ease back into the routine. It doesn’t need to be perfect right away, just a gentle shift to ease everyone back on track.

What should I do if my children feel worried about returning to school?

It’s normal for children to feel worried about returning back after a long break, especially if they’re adjusting to a new family dynamic. Reassure your children that their feelings are valid, and encourage open conversations about their worries. Remind them of the positive parts of school, such as seeing friends or taking part in activities they enjoy. If needed, consider getting help from a school counsellor or mental health professional.

How can I communicate effectively with my co-parent about school-related matters?

Agree in advance how you will share information, whether that’s through regular check-ins, email, or a parenting app such as the amicable co-parenting app. Use a shared calendar to keep track of school events, important dates, and homework schedules. Keeping communication clear and respectful helps ensure that you’re on the same page and that your children’s best interests are prioritised.