Jacynth Bassett, founder of The Bias Cut shares her tips on using style to boost your confidence during or post-divorce.
As a mother going through a divorce, a top priority is to be a solid supportive rock for your children. But as unbreakable as you may appear, that doesn’t mean there isn’t fragility and lack of confidence underneath. You may have lost confidence during a relationship, or whilst it broke down. So it’s important to take care of yourself too.
Rather than focus on the negatives, it’s important to remember a fresh start is a chance to reinvent yourself, and with that can come a lot of joy. As well as readjusting yourself on the inside, it’s important to appreciate that how you look on the outside plays a role in feeling confident. As superficial as it may seem, if you’re not feeling good about your appearance, that will have a knock-on effect on how you carry yourself, and that will affect your mood and attitude generally.
If you give yourself a little TLC and recognise how what you’re wearing can help, you may find your confidence grows. Patti S found herself starting a new career post-divorce, but by embracing her new ‘work’ wardrobe she found it boosted her self-esteem: “it took me out of my comfort zone and helped me to feel more confident in my new situation”.
So here are some tips on how you too can embrace your new chapter through style:
When you’re in a relationship it is hard not to care about what the other person thinks about how you look. As a result, you may find yourself dressing a certain way, or avoiding pieces that your partner or social circle doesn’t like or approve of. But this can lead to your losing your sense of self. Now you can have fun trying out those looks you previously resisted and truly dress to show your real self. That could be glam or it could be more casual, whatever is right for you.
“Divorcing felt like being set free to explore my own personal style again” – Anne W.
Whilst you have the opportunity to try new things, equally, it is not the time to do something drastic on a whim, like getting a totally new haircut or a tattoo. It may give you a thrill in the short term, but you may live to regret it soon after and then you’ll start beating yourself up again. Take time to really consider making a big change before going ahead with it, and to check it is something you feel truly comfortable with rather than an act of rebellion.
Set aside some time to go through your wardrobe and clear-out anything that represents your previous self. This is a new chapter in your life, so remove pieces that evoke strong memories or feelings of the past that may cause you to retreat into yourself and feel low. Only keep those items that bring you pleasure and are a reflection of who you are today. That said, if you have a really favourite piece that you’re struggling to part with, again it’s best to wait a few months so you can make a more objective decision.
Divorce brings financial cost so you may feel you cannot indulge on any luxuries for a while. But it is important to maintain a sense of self-worth, so the odd treat here and there, such as on a new item of clothing, is completely justified. You’re going through a difficult time as it is, small gestures of self-love are important.
Find out more about Jacynth and how style can help boost your self-confidence at the-Bias-Cut.com.