5 Tips for separated parents - Father's Day

Originally published on 28th September 2018 at 10:20 AM
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Father’s Day, or any commemorative day for that matter, can feel especially tricky when you’re in the process of separating or divorcing. Here are some simple ideas and "tricks of the separated parent's trade" about how to navigate Father's Day as a separated parent and which will hopefully smooth the way, helping you to enjoy your day.

Use a Parenting Plan to agree arrangements for special days

Many parents now choose to make a parenting plan when they separate or divorce which details how they will co-parent their children. A parenting plan typically includes the arrangements for special days such as Father’s Day or birthdays or Christmas. A lot of stress is saved when everyone knows what’s happening ahead of time and what’s expected.

Plan the day ahead of time

If you don’t have a parenting plan, try and give yourselves plenty of time to make arrangements so that if possible, the children can spend time with their dad. This may mean extra flexibility on both of your parts. You may need to swap a weekend, a day or a few hours. If you have scheduled your weekends for the coming months ahead – try to compensate creatively rather than disrupt the on-going schedule as this can cause bad feelings and be a barrier to your co-parent being flexible. We created our brand new app to help, download it today and give it a try.

Father’s Day can be celebrated another time

It may not be possible to see the kids on the actual day. Try to stay focused on what’s important – the celebration of your relationship with your kids. Whilst it may not feel fair, or be fair, turning the day into a battleground won’t feel like much of a celebration of love. If it doesn’t go to plan this year – think about what changes need to be implemented within your co-parenting relationship for next year and other important days.

Make what is possible great

If it’s not possible for the children to see their dad on Father’s Day think about what can be achieved instead. Can the children send cards or a small gift? Can they skype/call or text their dad to let him know they’re thinking about him? Depending on the age and nature of your kids, homemade cards can be a great idea. I love this Huff Post link with some really simple, effective ideas. Father’s Day Cards: Seven Homemade Cards Your Kids Can Make Their Dads

Be the co-parent, not the ex

Most kids, especially older ones, need more than a bit of nudging to get themselves into gear. Remind them in good time to get a card or small gift, to phone or text or visit – ensure there is an expectation from you that they will make a fuss of their Dad. Supporting their relationship with their dad is one of the key loving acts of being a successful child-rearer and co-parent!

Whichever parent you are, if you don’t have the kids with you on Father’s Day take the opportunity to do something nice for you. Don’t work, do chores or waste the day – celebration days are an opportunity to enjoy and reward yourself…chances are if this is your first Father’s Day as separated parents you’ll deserve some fun.

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