In January 2021, BBC’s The One Show featured the divorce journey of Rob and Jonna – two very important customers of amicable’s. The short film (which has been in the works for over two years!) shows that it is possible to stay on good terms with your ex long after separation – even if you have the added pressure of co-parenting two young children.
amicable helped Jonna and Rob proceed with their amicable separation, allowing them to remain friends and able to co-parent their two children. The couple married in 2008, but after having children, they realised they had dramatically changed as people. On a family trip to Finland, Jonna and Rob finally had the conversation about separating that they had been putting off. They agreed that they absolutely did not want to fall out, and that they wanted to preserve the family unit.
Since separating, they agree they have become better parents. Although they argue and get on each other’s nerves (in their own words!), they are convinced that when they both do their best to get on, and are patient with each other, their family lives are far easier.
We understand that Jonna and Rob’s story is one to be aspired to, and such close friendships after divorce are not always the norm, but we can help in helping you separate amicably and together whilst supporting your future co-parenting relationship.
Our advice for separating amicably
1. Make a plan
Talk together about how you plan to separate, this isn't easy so it can be useful to find someone to help you throughout the process. Whilst friends and family are well-meaning and will want to give advice, allow them to be your support network whilst also getting a neutral person. An expert who’s been there, done that and helped thousands of couples before you, will be better placed to guide you through the process.
2. Start with your children
At the centre of Jonna and Rob’s separation was their desire to maintain a healthy relationship for their family. Paint a picture around how you want your family’s future to look with your co-parent, letting the needs of your children shape this outcome. This will provide a solid framework within which you can begin planning the separation.
3. Get comfortable with change, it's inevitable
Things change, especially with kids. Accepting that you can sometimes only make immediate plans that will need to be adapted will help build a long term, constructive and communicative relationship with your ex-partner.
Remember, it’s normal to not like everything about your co-parent. Life is not a fairy tale and adjusting your relationship will be hard. But there’s plenty of support out there to help you navigate the journey.
If you think your family would benefit from a helping hand to navigate the legal and emotional process of divorce, please book a free 15-minute call with one of our experts here.