Moving in together: the conversations to have before the keys are in your hand

Moving in together is a milestone. New keys, new postcode, maybe a new pillow or two. It's exciting. But it's also one of the biggest practical shifts most couples make together. And a lot of the things that smooth the path later get glossed over in the rush of boxes and bills.

Talking through the real, day-to-day stuff before you're sharing a fridge gives you both the best possible start.

Why these conversations matter

Living together is a leap of faith for both of you. You're combining money, space, time and habits. If you've been together a while, it can feel like you already know each other inside out. But the things that come up when you actually share a home are different to the things that come up when you have separate places.

Couples who talk it through tend to land more softly. There are fewer surprises. Fewer 'I thought you said' moments. And if anything bigger does come up later, you've already built the habit of talking about hard things together.

The money chat

Money is one of the most useful things to talk about early. The earlier you do, the simpler it gets.

Some questions worth asking each other:

• How will we split the rent or mortgage. Equally, by income, or some other way?
• Who's paying which bills, and how are we transferring money between us?
• Are we keeping our accounts separate, opening a joint one, or doing both?
• What about big shared spending, like holidays, furniture or a deposit. Who's putting in what?
• What's the plan if one of us has to cover more for a bit, like during illness, a job change or parental leave?

You don't have to agree on everything. The goal isn't to land on a perfect formula, it's to know where each other stands.

The home itself

If you're renting, whose name's on the tenancy? If you're buying, whose name's on the deeds? If only one of you is on either, what does that mean in practice?

A few practical questions:

• If only one of us is on the tenancy or mortgage, how are we both contributing fairly?
• Whose furniture are we keeping? What are we replacing? What are we splitting?
• If one of us has paid for something big, do we both own it, or does it stay theirs?

This stuff feels small until it isn't. Agreeing on it now means you don't have to untangle it later.

Looking forward

Life shifts. Plans change. The conversations that work best are the ones that take that into account.

• What if one of us wanted to move for a job in a couple of years?
• How are we thinking about kids, and on what timeline?
• What if circumstances changed and one of us needed to lean on the other for a while?
• And the one couples often dodge: if at some point we wanted to live separately, how would we manage it kindly?

That last one is one of the most useful conversations you can have, because it gives you both the security of knowing you've already thought it through, together.

For couples who aren't married, this part is worth paying particular attention to. Unmarried couples who live together don't have the same automatic legal protections as married couples in England and Wales. There's no such thing as a common law marriage here, no matter how long you've lived together. So setting things up clearly now is just good planning.

A simpler way to plan it together

Some couples have these conversations naturally over a coffee. Others find them harder to start, or harder to keep on track. That's where amicable can help.

Our Living Together Planning Session is a 60-minute video call with one of our Specialists, with both of you in the conversation. They walk you through the things worth agreeing (money, home, future plans) in a way that feels structured and helpful. By the end, you both leave with a clear plan and a template you can keep.

It's £210 for the session, fixed fee, both of you in the room. Couples often tell us it took the awkwardness out of conversations they'd been putting off.

If you're cohabiting (or about to), and you'd like what you've agreed clearly written down, our Cohabitation Agreement Service builds on those same conversations and turns them into a living together agreement. It's £800, fixed fee including VAT, with a dedicated Specialist alongside you the whole way.

Either way, the most important thing is that you have these conversations. Talking it through now is one of the kindest things you can do for your future selves.

60 minutes, both of you, £210. A guided conversation with one of our specialists. Or explore the Cohabitation Agreement Service if you'd like things in writing.