"I’m in menopause and want a divorce"

Menopause can be a challenging time of life, especially if you’re already struggling with a relationship that might not be as fulfilling as it once was. If you’re going through menopause and want a divorce, consider why you’re thinking of divorce now, what options you have and what your plans might be for the future.

A study conducted by the Family Law Menopause Project and Newson Health Research and Education found that 7 in 10 women believed menopause was linked to their divorce, so it’s important to know that you’re not alone in feeling this way.

This article will look at the symptoms of menopause, the impact they can have on relationships and what options are open to you if you do want to get divorced.

We also have a video on menopause and divorce featuring Kathryn Colas, the founder of SimplyHormones:

How to navigate menopause and divorce

Symptoms of menopause

Besides the physical impact of menopause, it can also have an effect on your mental health, with increased fatigue, memory problems, anxiety and stress. In particular, symptoms of ‘brain fog’, low energy and loss of confidence can be extremely challenging during the menopause. These can impact your daily life, as well as putting increased strain on your relationship as you deal with how your body is changing.

Memory issues can be caused by changing hormone levels, and made worse by disrupted sleep and changes in mood, but often aren’t permanent, although the length of time women experience menopause symptoms is individual to each woman, some lasting for many years with others experiencing few symptoms over a very short time. This can make it really difficult to know what to expect and how to adjust.

How menopause can impact relationships

Menopause can negatively impact the sex lives of many women, which in turn is a significant factor in divorce. Sadly, this can lead to shame or embarrassment, which only compounds the problem.

When things are changing, it can be really difficult to ask for intimacy, and instead of communicating you can find yourself shutting down, or turning inward, instead of reaching out and explaining how you feel.

For others, this change can cause them to set up new boundaries, which may challenge the existing relationship dynamic. For some, their partners are simply not able to accept this, leaving divorce as the only option.

Reflect on why you’re considering divorce now

Menopause often makes many women take stock of where they are, and the state of their relationship. You might have realised that things have changed, that you’re not as happy as you were in the past or that you’re now incompatible with your partner.

If you’re feeling like your relationship has taken a sudden turn for the worse, it’s important to communicate with your partner and take action to make improvements where you can. Couples counselling or therapy can be a big help here, and may get things back on track.

Of course, sometimes things do change, and you might feel that divorce is the best option to spare yourself more pain. If you know that separating is something you want to pursue, there are options available to you that can take the pressure off of you, and make it easier to deal with.

Look at your options for divorce

While many people choose to do their divorce themselves to save money, this can bring increased stress during an already difficult time.

Similarly, when using solicitors for divorce, divorcing couples are often set in opposition against each other, which can be even more distressing during menopause.

There are divorce services designed to make the process as stress-free as possible. As menopause can lead to difficulty remembering things and trouble concentrating, it might be worth reaching out to a divorce service like amicable, as we have Divorce Specialists to support and guide you, organise the paperwork, help you reach a financial agreement and get everything made legally binding to give you peace of mind for the future.

Make a plan for the future

Moments of change can also be opportunities for reflection and growth, with many women choosing to end their marriages to focus on themselves and what they want. Divorce gives us the freedom to decide for ourselves how we’d like to live, and can be the start of an exciting new chapter.

However, it’s important to recognise how the realities of menopause can potentially impact your plans. Over half of the respondents in the study linked at the top of this article said that perimenopause or menopause made it harder for them to save for retirement, as they ended up leaving work or retiring early due to the impact menopause had on their physical and mental health.

With this in mind, when it comes to your financial agreement, it’s important to know that pensions should be considered, and can be shared over time, providing stable income for women who might otherwise not have any.

Besides this, early financial planning can help build a safety net in the event of an early retirement, and give you the freedom to choose how you’d like to live after your divorce.

Menopause can be incredibly difficult. You have to manage your body changing, dealing with doctors, accessing appropriate medical care and navigating your relationship at the same time. If you’re going through menopause and thinking about divorce, you aren’t alone, and we’re here to help.

Read more about how divorce can impact your mental health, or check out our other articles on wellbeing during divorce.