Separating with pets: An essential guide for pet owners

Separation affects everyone in the family - including your pets. Whether you share a dog, cat, rabbit, hamster or other beloved companion, knowing how to navigate this transition calmly and fairly can make a real difference to their wellbeing and make things simpler.

This article by Divorce Specialist, Paula Tanner, helps you plan calmly and fairly for your pet's future.

Paula is a Divorce Specialist in the Negotiation Team at amicable. She has practiced Family Law for over 20 years and is a former Solicitor. Paula works closely with separating couples to help them reach fair outcomes by working together. She believes that when couples can manage their difficult emotions together, they lay the groundwork for more positive co-parenting and long-term harmony for the benefit of the family

Why does planning for your pets matter during separation?

Separation brings a mix of emotions – shock, grief, guilt and uncertainty. When pets are involved, feelings can be even more intense. Pets bring comfort, routine and unconditional love. Taking time to think about what will work best for you, your ex-partner and your family can help you:

1. Explore the emotions around pet decisions
2. Reduce conflict by preparing for practical conversations
3. Focus on what’s best for your pet, not just what feels fair in the moment
4. Balance your children or partner’s wishes with the pet’s welfare

Signs you might need extra support

• You and your ex disagree about where the pet should live
• Conversations about pets lead to conflict or distress
• Your child is struggling emotionally about potentially losing a pet
• You feel overwhelmed or guilty about the possible outcome
• You’re finding it hard to make decisions logically

If this sounds familiar, talking to a therapist, vet, animal behaviourist or an amicable Co-petting Specialist can help.

How does the law treat pets in a divorce or separation?

In the UK, pets are legally treated as ‘chattels’ - a form of personal property, rather than family members. This means that during divorce or separation the courts don’t apply a welfare-based test like they would for children when making shared care agreements.

Instead, decisions about who keeps a pet are approached similarly to other assets. Instead, they look at practical factors:

• Who purchased the pet
• Whose name is on registration, microchip or insurance documents
• Who's paid for ongoing care
• Who's been the primary caregiver

While the court can order the transfer of ownership as part of a financial settlement, it rarely makes detailed ‘co-petting’ or visitation arrangements for pets.

Most pet arrangements work best when you sort them out together through negotiation, mediation or a written agreement – rather than leaving it to a judge.

Understanding your pet’s needs during separation

Each pet reacts to change differently. A calm, consistent approach helps them feel safe during this transition.

Routine: Who can feed, exercise and care for them reliably?

Attachment: Who is the pet most bonded to?

Health : Do they need specialised medical care? Are they approaching their senior years? Environment: Which home is safer or more suitable for their needs?

Children: How attached are the children and how will shared care be managed?

Finances: Will vet bills, insurance, food, equipment and emergency costs be shared?

What if we're co-petting a dog or cat?

Dogs and cats often form strong emotional bonds and may struggle with sudden change. Things to consider if you choose to co-pet your dog or cat:

Stability is essential – avoid frequent moves between homes

Behaviour may change – watch for clinginess, toileting issues or increased vocalising during transitions

Gradual handovers work best if you decide to share care

Consider personality – some pets adapt well to shared care, others don't

Use shared calendars for vet appointments, grooming and flea/worming schedules

Avoid conflict during handovers – keep them calm and neutral

Explain the new routine to children so they know what to expect

Give them space – a stressed pet may become more reactive and needs patience and a safe place to decompress