How to introduce amicable to your partner

The conversation guide by amicable Divorce Specialist, Susie Parsons

Starting a conversation about the legal side of separation can feel intimidating - especially if your partner is uncertain or not ready to take the next step. How you approach this moment can make a huge difference in setting the tone for the rest of your separation.

amicable Divorce Specialists like myself are here to help couples communicate with respect and make decisions as a team. This guide is designed to help you talk to your partner about separation options in a calm, constructive way - including how services like amicable can support you both. So you can both feel informed and supported before making any big decisions.

Susie is a Divorce Specialist in the Assisted Team at amicable. She has practiced Family Law for a number of years and is a Chartered Legal Executive. Susie's focus is to work with couples to achieve the best possible outcome in a kind, and empathetic way. She believes that where relationship breakdown can be achieved by couples working together, they have a much better chance to be able to move forward positively, as well as being able to co-parent well together.

How to prepare for the conversation

1. Choose your timing If your partner is unsure or anxious about what comes next, timing is everything. Find a quiet, neutral moment when you’re both calm and not rushed. Avoid discussing legal options during emotional or heated moments - or if one of you is about to head off to work or do the school run.

2. Be clear on your intentions You’re not trying to convince your partner or make any decisions immediately. The goal is simply to share information and work towards a plan together. Whether that’s with amicable or another service, what’s important is that you make progress as a team to feel informed, supported and avoid unnecessary cost or conflict.

3. Stay neutral and kind When introducing amicable, it can be useful to use inclusive language. Phrases like ‘we’ and ‘us’ can help your partner feel that this is something you’ll explore together - not something being done to them or without their input.

When opening the conversation, you might want to:

• Share that you've been thinking about next steps

• Explain what amicable is and how it works with both partners

• Ask what they think about not needing separate lawyers

• Reassure them this is about exploring options, not making decisions

• Acknowledge the difficulty while emphasising mutual support

What could your conversation look like?

Every couple approaches separation differently. You may be ready to move forward, while your partner is likely to be in a different stage of their emotional journey. That’s normal - and it’s why these conversations can be challenging.

Here are common situations and ways to navigate them:

When your partner needs more information

If your partner wants to understand how amicable differs from traditional solicitors, you can explain that: amicable supports both people equally, not taking sides

• Free consultations are available with no pressure to commit
• The goal is to both feel informed before starting the process

When your partner is worried about costs or complexity

Financial concerns are common and completely valid. You can share that:

• Solicitor fees can be extremely high, but amicable offers fixed-fee services

• There are no hidden costs or hourly rates to worry about

• You'd both have access to the same information and legal guidance

This transparency can help reduce financial anxiety.

When your partner isn't ready to discuss it

If your partner says they don't want to talk about it yet, respect that boundary. It’s a lot to process, and you could suggest revisiting the topic at a later date.

You could also offer to send them information to look at in their own time and ask them to share any other options they've been considering so you can discuss things together when they feel ready.

Tips for sharing how amicable can help

1. Share information, not persuasion.

2. Always present amicable as an option, not a decision you’ve made.

3. Acknowledge emotions. Your partner may feel worried, angry or overwhelmed. Validate their feelings and reassure them that their feelings and peace of mind matter to you.

4. Use facts to reassure.

You can highlight that:

• amicable supports both partners equally - there’s no taking sides or competing for more than what’s fair and would be approved by the court

• You both see the same information and progress via a shared dashboard for full transparency

• Services are fixed-fee, helping reduce uncertainty and stress about costs

• 95% of couples who use amicable’s negotiation services reach a court-ready agreement

Be patient . Avoid defensiveness or a sense of urgency. The more relaxed you are, the safer your partner will feel to explore options with you. You might want to get the process started as soon as possible, but try to imagine how you would feel if you felt you were being pushed to make a decision.

Remember: The goal isn’t to make your partner agree straight away. It’s to help them feel informed, respected and ready to consider a kinder path forward that involves both of you.

What to do after you’ve mentioned amicable

Once you’ve shared information and your partner has had some time to process, you can gently suggest a next step that feels comfortable for both of you.

You might suggest:

• Booking a free 15-minute call with amicable where you can both ask questions and see if it feels like a good fit

• An individual consultation if they'd prefer to speak privately first

• Getting the same information at the same time, then deciding together

If your partner isn’t ready to talk yet, that’s okay. Give them space and let them know you’re available when they’re ready.

Responding to your partner’s concerns with care

You likely already know some of the things your partner is worried about - co-parenting, financial fairness, legal jargon or emotional fallout. One way to make amicable feel more relevant (and less abstract) is to show how its services directly address those concerns:

If co-parenting is a worry: amicable offers support around parenting plans and guidance on creating fair, safe arrangements for your family

If financial fairness is important: you both have access to the same financial information via your dashboard, including income, pensions and assets

If legal agreements or clarity is a concern: amicable helps you create legally binding agreements – so your arrangements are secure

If legal jargon is causing anxiety: there are joint consultations and plain-English guidance to take you through each step at a pace that suits you both

If you have different needs or priorities: amicable offers tailored services for couples with differing focuses – for example, property for one partner and childcare for another

Get expert support with your conversation

As a member of amicable space, you can book a free 30-minute consultation with one of our Divorce Specialists. We can help you prepare for that first conversation and explore ways to invite your partner to a joint consultation when the time feels right.

Ultimately, we are a couples service and understand the importance of working as a team. We can’t progress without your partner and it’s important that both of you feel comfortable and confident - even if this takes more time than one person expects. Taking time allows you both to make informed, thoughtful choices.