Buying your first home together: what every couple should think about

Buying your first home together is one of the biggest things a couple can do. It's also one of the biggest jumps in everyday life, finances and forward planning. Most couples spend hours scrolling Rightmove and not nearly enough time talking through the stuff that actually shapes how the next few years feel.

This guide is for that. The practical conversations worth having before the offer goes in, the money side worth getting clear on, and the simple steps that make the whole thing feel calmer.

Start with what you each want

Before anything else, get clear on what you're both actually looking for. Same area or different commutes. Flat or house. Garden or balcony. Five-year plan or a forever home. Whether you'd be open to a fixer-upper.

It sounds obvious, but a lot of couples skip this and end up scrolling listings together with quietly different pictures in their heads. A 20-minute conversation now can save weeks of viewings later.

If you're not aligned yet, that's not a problem. It just means the conversation is the first thing to do, not the second.

Get clear on the money side

This is the bit that catches most couples out, and it's where amicable can help.

A few of the bigger questions worth talking through:

• What's the deposit looking like? Are you splitting it 50/50, or is one of you putting in more? If contributions are unequal, how do you both feel about that being recognised in how the property is owned
• What can you actually afford? This is mostly a mortgage question, but also a "how stretched do you both want to feel" question. They're different
• How will you share the mortgage and bills? Equal split, share by income, or something else. Easier to agree this upfront than re-open it later
• What happens if income changes? One of you might earn more in a few years, or take time off, or shift career. Worth talking through what feels fair

This is where a 60-minute Living Together Planning Session helps a lot of couples. It's a guided conversation with one of our Specialists where you both work through the practical stuff together, including money, the home and what feels fair. £210 per couple. No pressure to do anything else after.

Speak to a mortgage adviser early

Even if you're not ready to offer yet, talking to a mortgage adviser early helps in two big ways. You'll know what you can actually borrow, which sharpens the property search, and you'll spot anything that needs sorting on either of your sides before it's a problem.

We recommend Octopus Money mortgages. They're a sister company in our group and are experienced at supporting couples through their first mortgage.

A few things they help with:

• Checking how much you can borrow as a couple, including how unequal incomes or deposits work
• Walking you through the difference between joint mortgages and other structures
• Spotting issues early, like credit history quirks or affordability gaps
• Helping you understand what fixed terms, rates and repayment styles work for your situation

You can speak to them whether you're months out from buying or actively looking.

Decide how you'll own it together

This is the bit a lot of couples don't realise has options. There are two common ways unmarried couples can own a property together:

• Joint tenants - you both own the whole property equally. If one of you passes away, the other automatically inherits the share
• Tenants in common - you each own a defined share, which can be equal or unequal. If one of you passes away, your share goes wherever your will says (so you both need wills)

If your contributions are unequal or you want to recognise that one of you is putting in more, tenants in common is usually the better fit. Your conveyancing solicitor can set this up at the point of purchase, and a deed of trust can record exactly who owns what share.

A cohabitation agreement takes things a step further. It covers not just property ownership but how you'll share bills, what happens if income changes, what each of you is bringing into the home and how big future decisions will be made. Many couples buying together set one up alongside the mortgage, especially when deposits are unequal.

The Cohabitation Agreement Service is £800 per couple, including VAT, and most agreements are ready in one to two weeks.

A few conversations worth having before you buy

Some quick prompts that catch a lot of couples out otherwise:

• What does each of you bring into the home, and what becomes shared
• How much do you want to keep separate, financially
• How will you handle big future costs (renovations, replacing the boiler, a wedding, kids)
• What's your plan if one of you wanted to move on or buy the other out one day
• Have you both got wills sorted (especially if you're unmarried, this matters a lot more than people realise)

None of these are about expecting things to go wrong. They're about feeling clear and confident moving forward together. Couples who've talked these through usually feel a lot better about the move itself.

Two next steps

If you're ready to start the property search proper, the most useful thing you can do early is talk to a mortgage adviser.

Speak to Octopus Money mortgages.

If you'd like help with the practical and relational side first, our 60-minute Living Together Planning Session gets you both on the same page on money, the home and day-to-day life.

Book a free 15-minute consultation with amicable.

Either way, the best start is a couple of decent conversations. Everything else gets simpler from there.