amicable forum

She wants to take my son away after the divorce.

When my wife worked abroad, she met a man who eventually became her lover. Due to that, we broke up. She filed a divorce which will be granted soon. But that is not the problem here. It’s about her taking my son, Mike, away from me. I understand that when the parents got divorced, the kids should at least be at the mother’s jurisdiction. However, this is not how it goes here. She said they will be moving to a foreign country soon and she won’t tell me where exactly. My concern is, I have to know so that I can visit my son anytime I want. She did not seem to understand it that way. She literally wants me to cut off the tie with my son, which is not right. I would never agree to that. Can we not let our son decide whom he wants to stay with? Mike just turned 12 and old enough to decide on his own.


    Hi FatherGrant, thank you for your message. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a difficult time. It’s usually best if you and your ex can negotiate a good outcome for your son rather than taking the court route. So our advice would be to first write a calm letter that explains you understand you both have responsibilities towards your son and that as you both have parental responsibility you have the right to be involved in his upbringing. Gingerbread (the single parent’s charity) has an excellent fact sheet on what parental responsibility means. However, if your ex won’t listen, or if you think she is moving abroad imminently, then you should seek immediate legal advice before she removes your son from the country. You may be able to make an emergency prohibitive steps application to the court to stop her taking your son away until the court has had a chance to assess what’s best for Mike and to ensure he has the support and contact from both his parents.

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