amicable forum

Seperation

My story.



My and Husband and I have been together for 6 and a half years. We have never had many problems in our relationship. Last year on July 7th 2018 we got married.



Life’s tough we have a lot of debt for the wedding so we don’t have a lot of money but we survive. I think my husband started to feel a bit down, no money, same routine I have a busy job so I was constantly working/stressed.



Two weeks ago I noticed he was off I spoke to him and he told me he doesn’t know if he can do “this” or us anymore. Over the next week I was heartbroken and it was torture we can good/great moments and awful moments. There another girl involved an ex. He met up with her and in doing so felt so guilty that all this has to come up. He feels he can’t give her up and this is a big issue in his mind.



A couple days ago he decided to go stay at his mums house for space. It was hard I took some pain relief tablets (to many) to try and cope. On Monday I invited him round for game of thrones and we sat and talked and acted normal. The next day I asked him around again this when I got angry I started asking him questions again. He just kept saying that he didn’t have any answers. And was getting frustrated that I was asking them. In the end I said I’m his wife there shouldn’t be another option I should be the only option. I told him that it feels like he forcing me in to a decision because he’s to scared to make one. He left.



The next morning I had a rough night I needed to go to a&e. I rang him to take me. He come but we didn’t go he bought me back to the house we talked. I asked him he knew anything just say it. He said he loved her more. Ok that’s it we split I text my close family and friends.



One of my friends took me to a&e all fine. Was out of the house most of the day feeling strong. I got inside the house and broken down uncontrollable sobbing in the end I just sat in the shower and let the water hit me. I got better and had good night. I took my dogs out.



On the dog walk one of the pups picked up a chicken bone I had to get jt our of his mouth which left me with a bad cut. I’m not good with this stuff I almost called him. I didn’t I wrapped it up and managed to get home. It was a bad cut I should probably gone to a&e but couldn’t face it.



I ended up calling him as I gave him the medicine box to take ways so No tablets in house had all plasters. He come straight over and sorted it out. Whilst hear he grabbed some clothes. I was feeling very um ‘horny’ so I told him what I wanted to do it. It was a quick and he said this is a bad idea and not going to help. He got up I asked if he meant what he said yesteday about loving her more he said no and left.



Yesteday. Woke up with a wierd feeling did I do something wrong I don’t know. I message him in the hope he would come he refused saying he is with his mum. I blocked him on eveything. I went out with friends but I could cope eveything was exploding in my head.



I spoke to his mum who had to spoke to him and she said that he still has no answer and he needs space and that I need to give him that space as it hasn’t gone well so far. I spoke to his best friend and he’s telling me to move on. I speak to a random person and they say give him the space he needs.



I don’t know how to process any of this, I don’t know how to function I don’t even know what I want anymore.


replies

    Hi Rebecca, I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a difficult time. You should try counselling, together and/or separately to work out what is the best option for you both to move forward. Organisations like Relate, One Plus One or BACP's website may help you. If divorce is the option you choose, then get back in touch by booking a call here and we can talk you through how it works and what you'll need to do.



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