amicable forum

None of reasons for divorcing are relevant to us – what do we do?

We’ve decided to get a divorce but none of the reasons for divorce on the form are relevant to us. We got married a year and a half ago but have been a couple for five years in total. No ones cheated, or left each other, we haven’t been apart for two years or five years and neither of us have done anything horrible to each other so I don’t think we can use the behaviour one? We’ve just fallen out of love and drifted apart so I don’t really know what to do…? Please help


replies

    Hi chloec – unfortunately in England and Wales, we don’t yet have ‘no-fault divorce’ which means a lot of couples are left in the same situation as you and your ex. Many couples use the reason of ‘unreasonable behaviour’, the reality is our legal system sets couples up to enter a blame game which, I know, doesn’t feel fair if you’ve just drifted apart. If you’ve decided to divorce, you will both need to be pragmatic in your approach. One person will have to be ‘responsible’ for the behaviour that has led the marriage breakdown. Some people choose to write these examples about themselves to reduce acrimony. The examples of the behaviour  don’t have to be ‘horrible’. There are many examples people can use to describe to the judge why their marriage has broken down past the point of repair. Here are some examples couples have used:




    • Lack of emotional support

    • Violence / Physical abuse

    • Verbal abuse

    • Financially irresponsible e.g. failure to support the family, household costs.

    • Lack of support in general, around the house, in your career etc

    • Gambling on a frequent basis and/or creating debt without your knowledge

    • Drug/alcohol abuse

    • Refusal to discuss/work on issues within the marriage

    • Not wanting to engage in any sexual or physical relations

    • Limited socialising happens as a couple

    • I’m happy to chat this through with you, just schedule a call here.



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