amicable forum

I had to support lazy alcoholic husband in marriage, I don't want to pay him anymore?

For 25 long years my lazy lying alcoholic husband didn’t pay me any money or support me, I had to rely on my part time job and parents lending me money. I had to pay all the bills and the mortgage, support the children, I helped him in his business, I did all the housework, gardening, supported the children. He used to shout and swear at us and arrive home drunk. The house is in my name as I put the money in for our first home and due to my hard work I gradually built up a buy to let portfolio of 5 flats. I have had to sell 2 to pay bills as I now support my Mum who has dementia and my son is unemployed. We live in the family home. In 2013 my husband left me for another woman and lied to me about his affair for years. In 2014 I had a heart attack due to stess. I have truly suffered mental and physical abuse. He is renting a house with this other woman and is still carrying on his electrical business. He has paid me no maintenance for the children and we had an agreement when the children were born that he was to pay £50 a month into savings accounts for them so when they were 18 they would have some money. They are now 19 and 20 and couldn’t go to University because what money he did put in he took most of it out again. I suffered anxiety, depression throughout our marriage. He was a hands off father. His mother won the health lottery and is in her 80s. My mother is 94 with dementia and I will be left half her home. I have a huge mortgage on my home and a whopping £2,2k mortgage on it and due to Government regulations although it was a porting mortgage they are refusing to transfer the mortgage. I have had money worries all my married life. I have proof of his drinking and videos of his verbal abuse. I do not want to give him another penny, I just need to hang on to what I have without this leech getting his hands on even more. I have to pay a lot back to my Mum’s estate on the loan. I went to mediation 4xs and it was just a fiasco, no finances were even discussed, I am sure the solicitor was just making the most of the time and cost us a fortune for nothing, it was more like a counselling session. We didn’t even discuss the finances. I have a little bit coming in from 2 buy to lets but I have to sell one as they won’t extend the mortgage and there isn’t much capital in the flat. I have a bad credit rating due to credit cards I had to use to survive. I have a lodger. Do I have to give him half?


replies

    Hi Dramlouie, thanks for getting in touch and I am sorry to hear you’re going through a difficult time. I believe we have already spoken on the phone but thought it would be useful for others to read the response in case others are in a similar position to you.



    In short, you do not have to give your husband half. The law does not have a defined formula for dividing assets. To make fair agreements between you, you must think about what the courts in England & Wales take into consideration: income, earning capacity and property as well as financial needs, obligations, and responsibilities. The starting pointing is a 50/50 split. But if one of you has a greater need, for example, because you are housing the children or earn a lot less, then the split may differ.



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